Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can do it as a leave of absence and solve the burnout. Because it means going back to the job that did it to you in the first place. "Catching up on life" and resetting is an illusion. You will never stay caught up in a bad situation. It will just start all over again when you return.

I quit my job because of burnout. The first couple of weeks I did nothing productive but watch TV in bed. I did meet with a career/life coach weekly though to keep myself focused on whats next. Then I got bored with doing nothing and came up with a business idea. I built the website and all of the back end of the business. Then I launched the business. But I did it with very specific boundaries to avoid ending up in burnout again. For example, I have a max number of hours I'll work and max number of clients I'll take. I don't intend to grow the business past a certain point. Once the business got profitable enough, I hired someone to cook and clean for us twice a week.

Now I can honestly say I love my life and I'm not burnt out. I have time to exercise. I have flexibility to attend my child's school things. I never have to ask for a vacation day. I just adjust my client commitments around vacations and travel. We were even able to live abroad for awhile because my work is fully remote. The coach was very helpful for figuring out the boundaries of my new life and work.

This is a success story in my book! And I think you and some other comments are making me realize I am probably actually thinking of a leave of absence as just a gateway to actually leaving. Assuming I am actually able to figure out a new plan. (-OP)

Anonymous wrote:If you took a leave, do you have kid/home responsibilities that would prevent you from really resting and reflecting about what you want to do? That would make a big difference.

When I felt like you, I took a new job with way less responsibility (and a $50k pay cut). I lasted a year. It wasn't the solution. I think a real leave of absence would have been better.

Well, there is certainly more I would feel compelled to do at home. But kids are elementary age and we would not alter our after-school childcare arrangements so theoretically all the time I've been putting into work would be freed up.

Anonymous wrote:My experience is that burn out doesnt happen overnight so it doesnt get solved overnight either. I dont do drastic things and I dont wait til I want to do drastic things. Start scaling back. Say no to the work travel, the extra committee. Call in sick to attend a counselling session. Take the weekend off and go for a walk, a run, check in in a local airbnb 2h away.
Even cheaper, go to a grocery you've never been, go to your local library or your local zoo. The idea is to break the monotony--- create distance from your daily grind so you can have some clarity on what it is you truly want

OP here. I have been trying to ramp down and saying no a lot more. The idea of doing small things to break the monotony is a good idea. I think it's the part about clarity I feel like I've been unable to achieve. Is it something I can achieve with more time and dedicated thinking put to it, if I "make" it my job when I'm on leave? Or is it just something I'm going to snap out of one day and realize.

If you took a leave, do you have kid/home responsibilities that would prevent you from really resting and reflecting about what you want to do? That would make a big difference.

When I felt like you, I took a new job with way less responsibility (and a $50k pay cut). I lasted a year. It wasn't the solution. I think a real leave of absence would have been better.

I don't think you can do it as a leave of absence and solve the burnout. Because it means going back to the job that did it to you in the first place. "Catching up on life" and resetting is an illusion. You will never stay caught up in a bad situation. It will just start all over again when you return.

I quit my job because of burnout. The first couple of weeks I did nothing productive but watch TV in bed. I did meet with a career/life coach weekly though to keep myself focused on whats next. Then I got bored with doing nothing and came up with a business idea. I built the website and all of the back end of the business. Then I launched the business. But I did it with very specific boundaries to avoid ending up in burnout again. For example, I have a max number of hours I'll work and max number of clients I'll take. I don't intend to grow the business past a certain point. Once the business got profitable enough, I hired someone to cook and clean for us twice a week.

Now I can honestly say I love my life and I'm not burnt out. I have time to exercise. I have flexibility to attend my child's school things. I never have to ask for a vacation day. I just adjust my client commitments around vacations and travel. We were even able to live abroad for awhile because my work is fully remote. The coach was very helpful for figuring out the boundaries of my new life and work.

I thought I had work burnout bad enough to need to quit.

I didn't; I have sleep apnea. I was exhausted and had cognitive challenges I didn't even know I had. Treating has fixed everything, including my irritation with my job.

I recently returned to work after a 3 month break due to burnout (took FMLA).

It didn’t help. Not even a microscopic bit. Like ZERO. I came back to my terrible job and it’s as if I never took a break at all.

Take the break, sure, but use the time to secure a new job. If you’re really burned out from work, 3 months won’t help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely recover but it doesn’t make sense to recover and go back to more of the same. I understand needing space to figure out your next move but can you also ask for a change of pace at work? Ie, I would like to take leave to attend to a family project and when I come back, I’d like to make a major change in my role” - so while you’re gone they actually get used to not needing you as much? Hard to advise further without knowing the specific role

OP here. Yes it’s largely in part to in addition to physical recovery, figuring out what I actually want. Your point about a role change is a good one. I think I could try to ask for something like that; I’m just not sure what I’d like to ask for.

NP. I think this is a good idea. I’d like to do it myself in a year, and I think I may be in a place for it. I’m also burned out from working a very three years in very intense role while raising kids and driving them to activities. I’d love to step away from the job even for a full month just to catch up on things at home. I’d find a less intense job but the pay and benefits are great. I’d never find them again if I left.

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely recover but it doesn’t make sense to recover and go back to more of the same. I understand needing space to figure out your next move but can you also ask for a change of pace at work? Ie, I would like to take leave to attend to a family project and when I come back, I’d like to make a major change in my role” - so while you’re gone they actually get used to not needing you as much? Hard to advise further without knowing the specific role

OP here. Yes it’s largely in part to in addition to physical recovery, figuring out what I actually want. Your point about a role change is a good one. I think I could try to ask for something like that; I’m just not sure what I’d like to ask for.

My experience is that burn out doesnt happen overnight so it doesnt get solved overnight either. I dont do drastic things and I dont wait til I want to do drastic things. Start scaling back. Say no to the work travel, the extra committee. Call in sick to attend a counselling session. Take the weekend off and go for a walk, a run, check in in a local airbnb 2h away.
Even cheaper, go to a grocery you've never been, go to your local library or your local zoo. The idea is to break the monotony--- create distance from your daily grind so you can have some clarity on what it is you truly want

I quit and went to Europe for a month.

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely recover but it doesn’t make sense to recover and go back to more of the same. I understand needing space to figure out your next move but can you also ask for a change of pace at work? Ie, I would like to take leave to attend to a family project and when I come back, I’d like to make a major change in my role” - so while you’re gone they actually get used to not needing you as much? Hard to advise further without knowing the specific role

This +1000. Start taking breaks now, open yourself to applying to jobs slowly and start quiet quitting. I went through a similar experience of burn out, just felt spent and like I couldn’t find joy in the work anymore. I asked for change in role but I was too SME with a few too many superiors asking for review/work from me. So it was like taking a new role with still a lot of requests to help with old. Know your worth OP, if you’re so burned out you’re fantasizing of quitting it all then your mental (and probably physical health) is taking a hit and that’s not ok. In the end I found a new job with a very different but related company and it’s the best decision I made. Also invest time into reading and learning about boundaries. At the time I was terrified of leaving and losing all that niche expertise, but that’s because I kept believing I was pigeon holed somehow. If you relate to that then let those notions go. Good luck!

You can definitely recover but it doesn’t make sense to recover and go back to more of the same. I understand needing space to figure out your next move but can you also ask for a change of pace at work? Ie, I would like to take leave to attend to a family project and when I come back, I’d like to make a major change in my role” - so while you’re gone they actually get used to not needing you as much? Hard to advise further without knowing the specific role

following - so burned out that i fantasize daily about giving up and just hiding.
I worked 80h last week. dying.

I am considering asking for leave to try and recover from what I think is work burnout. It is not something that I feel I can work through in just a short vacation of a couple weeks. I am not sure if I can work through it all to be honest and maybe need to make a bigger shift. I am financially stable enough that I could do this for a few months. To combo with this, there are some other things going on in extended family that I would also like to spend some time helping (project based, not like an ongoing medical situation or anything).

I see three goals - first just physical recovery from a grueling schedule. Second - wanting to get non-work projects accomplished. Third - actually trying to get into a healthy place and figure out next steps career wise.

My biggest concern is that I Feel so rundown I'm not sure I would get past step 1. I also worry about it being winter and not having any internal motivation to do anything. I don't want to squander this time if I do it. I worry I have a fantasy of everything I would accomplish and then Ill disappoint myself. I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has done this successfully (or done it and regretted it).