Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like a weekly thread. So sad.

It is sad. But not everyone in life gets lucky in marriage.

Lucky people pick good partners and do hard work.

Anonymous wrote:Who else?

How many years left?

I have 10

You two may fall in love again. Empty nest has its advantages.

Anonymous wrote:I really wish people realized that its damaging to the kids when you stay unhappily married until the youngest is out of the house. People seem to have this naive idea that staying doesn't mess kids up too.

People have a naive idea that divorcing an unhealthy, dysfunctional, abusive spouse turns them into a healthy, functional, kind co-parent

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really wish people realized that its damaging to the kids when you stay unhappily married until the youngest is out of the house. People seem to have this naive idea that staying doesn't mess kids up too. [/quote]

I read a book about this and the therapist who wrote the book basically said that if you are somewhat amicable low conflict roommates it’s better for the kids than divorce. Kids are not THAT aware or interested with what is going on with their parents. They worry about themselves. If you can provide them a safe and peaceful home they are fine. YMMV.[/quote]

If you’re amicable low conflict roommates then your divorce will also be amicable and low conflict and thus many if not most of the downsides you see in the aggregate statistics about children of divorce won’t be applicable. Stop martyring yourselves and living in a constant state of pain and suffering because of dumb internet comments like this from people who don’t understand how to think critically about data.

What's the point of staying for the kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really wish people realized that its damaging to the kids when you stay unhappily married until the youngest is out of the house. People seem to have this naive idea that staying doesn't mess kids up too.

I read a book about this and the therapist who wrote the book basically said that if you are somewhat amicable low conflict roommates it’s better for the kids than divorce. Kids are not THAT aware or interested with what is going on with their parents. They worry about themselves. If you can provide them a safe and peaceful home they are fine. YMMV.

Yeah. I’m cringing at the idea that kids care about their parents’ sexual or romantic fulfillment.

Most kids want to pretend that their parents are asexual beings and prefer not to dwell too much on the logistics of their origins. Amicable roommates is a much preferred arrangement than creepy stepdad or stepmom who doesn’t want you around. That dynamic is infinitely more stressful and complicated to navigate at a time when kids’ attention should be rightfully focused on securing their own future not facilitating mom or dad’s romantic relationships. Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:I really wish people realized that its damaging to the kids when you stay unhappily married until the youngest is out of the house. People seem to have this naive idea that staying doesn't mess kids up too.

I read a book about this and the therapist who wrote the book basically said that if you are somewhat amicable low conflict roommates it’s better for the kids than divorce. Kids are not THAT aware or interested with what is going on with their parents. They worry about themselves. If you can provide them a safe and peaceful home they are fine. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like a weekly thread. So sad.

It is sad. But not everyone in life gets lucky in marriage.

The problem is thinking it’s luck.

What to mess them up at such a delicate time. Much better to do it now.

I really wish people realized that its damaging to the kids when you stay unhappily married until the youngest is out of the house. People seem to have this naive idea that staying doesn't mess kids up too.

Anonymous wrote:This is like a weekly thread. So sad.

It is sad. But not everyone in life gets lucky in marriage.

This is like a weekly thread. So sad.

2 years!

It will have been 9 years of waiting. Truth be told, I feel like it’s the hardest now because it’s so close but not close enough.

Me too. 5 years max.

Who else?

How many years left?

I have 10