Anonymous wrote:This doesn't have to do with a new home build. I am staying married because my husband would make custody total hell. But I completely plan to divorce when the kids leave.

Ditto

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen anything related to building a dream house, but a lot of divorce when kids are in high school/college is because once the kids are out of the house the couple no longer needs to stay together for them and realizes they really don't have much in common.

More like the wife did everything, launched the kids and now is done propping up the deadweight husband.

I think it’s similar to the couples who have a third baby and then divorce. They think some external factor like a house or baby will save a failing marriage… then it doesn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't have to do with a new home build. I am staying married because my husband would make custody total hell. But I completely plan to divorce when the kids leave.

But then why do people go through with plans to build a new house?

In the recent past, it was a great idea for resale. Our home value has more than doubled from lot/construction costs. If we divorce it won't be due to construction, which was easy but probably retirement plan disagreements but by then we'll have been here for a decade.

I don't know if it's common but plenty of people like to repeat "building causes divorce" to couples starting the process. I think it's just confirmation bias and you don't note people not building, but divorcing. Also what a miserable thing to "warn" people about when there is no actual data.

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't have to do with a new home build. I am staying married because my husband would make custody total hell. But I completely plan to divorce when the kids leave.

But then why do people go through with plans to build a new house?

This doesn't have to do with a new home build. I am staying married because my husband would make custody total hell. But I completely plan to divorce when the kids leave.

I know exactly what you’re talking about, but with home renovations.

The kids go to college, now it’s time to renovate! I don’t know if it’s empty nester boredom or if they are trying to “maybe will be happy here” together in a fixed up place, and it’s an attempt at a temporary fix, or what. But I’ve seen it twice.

Anonymous wrote:There's a certain chemical in new drywall that causes erectile dysfunction.

Going to crush some drywall into dh's pillow!

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen anything related to building a dream house, but a lot of divorce when kids are in high school/college is because once the kids are out of the house the couple no longer needs to stay together for them and realizes they really don't have much in common.

This. But also, home building is super stressful, so if you’re already realizing you have nothing in common once the kids leave, you hate your spouse even more when you add this stress.

This reads like DCUM mad libs.

I haven't seen anything related to building a dream house, but a lot of divorce when kids are in high school/college is because once the kids are out of the house the couple no longer needs to stay together for them and realizes they really don't have much in common.

I haven't seen this, but my kids are still in elementary. But given the cost of real estate in DC, I could see this happening to us.

There's a certain chemical in new drywall that causes erectile dysfunction.

I’m observing - and saw it with my own parents (now as the mom of a high schooler looking back)- that a lot of couples with kids in high school, who build their “dream house” when they finally have money, only to have it completed when kids go to college - divorce. It happened to my parents. I also see it happening to neighbors. Is this a real thing? Is it the stress of moving/building a house? Or that a couple thinks they can fix their problems/ be more happy by building a “dream house” only to move in and realize they are still unhappy? Or is it that a couple moves in and kids go to college, and empty nesters, realize maybe they were staying together only for kids.

Wondering if others have observed this pattern?