I see the happy marriages being the ones who married compatible people with warm feelings but not necessarily ardent passionate love. I also think they tend to be more practical people and not magical thinkers.

I married a man I liked with a nice lifestyle and it turned into love after marriage. It’s really not so bad, I honestly don’t believe you can really truly love someone until after you cross the threshold.

I married for love. DH became a workaholic who was well off financially. The workaholism killed the love. Everyone thought I should be happy because he paid for everything, but I was lonely. I think the best relationships are a mix of love and practicality.

Anonymous wrote:Probably depends on the person. I could not stand being married to somebody I didn't love. It seems like such a shallow and superficial lifestyle to put money over a good connection and that's not the kind of life I could lead.

Yes. There are a lot of people who are happy with choices they made, but that doesn't mean you'd be happy if you'd made their choices. That applies along many dimensions. I'd be miserable if I'd married for money, but I'd also be miserable married to a cheerful, bubbly woman. Fortunately I found a snarky, introverted partner.

Well I married for love but over time stayed for lifestyle because my picker was not good. Lots of emotional abuse over the years. Eventually had to get out.

What is comes down to is women are lazy, and they love spending money they didn't earn.

Marrying for love is just fine. The issue is that you can't marry a deadbeat for love.

No scrubs

I do know one person who did this and it did not go well. She married for wealth and that alone really. She had the kids, then got bored and blew it all up by cheating on him in the most insane and obvious way. From the outside it doesn't make sense because this guy was loaded, good looking and generally pretty decent! But he let her call all the shots, and she lost respect for him I think.

But now she's bummed because she's "poor" and only living on $10k a month. Who knows if she regrets it or not...

Anonymous wrote:Probably depends on the person. I could not stand being married to somebody I didn't love. It seems like such a shallow and superficial lifestyle to put money over a good connection and that's not the kind of life I could lead.

Someone who marries for money or stability is probably just a lot more pragmatic and less romantic and therefore likely to accept their circumstances and be happier.

Probably depends on the person. I could not stand being married to somebody I didn't love. It seems like such a shallow and superficial lifestyle to put money over a good connection and that's not the kind of life I could lead.

Love is overrated

The cost of being married to someone you don't love seems so much higher than the cost of being married to someone who isn't rich.

Yes. One can love a rich man as well as a poor man. Substitute: responsible, kind, ambitious (to a point) for rich. The fallacy that love conquers all is bunk. I adore my husband but what i love about him and fund attractive is the character of taking care of things, being smart with $ etc. I make more but we are a team and his partnership helped me get to this point in my career etc.

You really need to consider both. Even the most strongest connection will be disrupted if there are too many other stressors in your life. If he's your "soulmate" if you're struggling with money because his career is a dead end, or struggling with his mental illness, or something else that he brings to the table that affects your lifestyle, you're not going to feel that way very long. It's just reality.

All the women I know who did this seem so much happier than the ones who married for love but now have to work like crazy. Were the rest of us just huge dummies?