I personally keep the toilets closed and people are instructed to close it before flushing so droplets don’t fly all over the room. But that’s my house. Do whatever you want at yours. Tell her to leave it open for your kids. Your house your rules

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm with your MIL. Open toilet lids skeez me out. Teach your kids to close them - mine have never once pinched fingers. It's a good life skill.

What “skeezes” you out? You’re about to sit your naked body onto it. This is bizarre.

Ew I have thought you meant the lid but you mean the seat? Gross. I’m team MIL though she’s rude to verbalize it.

Is this the lids or seat? seat should be down, Lid I do not care about. get a soft close seat if pinched fingers are a problem. EVERY WOMEN WANTS THE SEAT DOWN. If we are in a rush or its dark and we make a mistake by not checking we suffer greatly. All of you boys future female friends would thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Your excuses ring hollow. If your boys are old enough to stand and pee, they can learn to lift and lower a toilet seat. It's not hard. Even my boys with SN, including fine/gross motor challenges and hypotonia do it. There are also a ton of devices that can assist - just go to Amazon.

Lifting/lowering a toilet seat is good manners. It's also a lot easier to learn than cleaning urine splatters and drips. I shudder to think how disgusting your bathroom is.

Team MIL

This is not about the toilet seat, it’s the lid. I never open or close it. Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would make a huge scene apologizing to her for the inconvenience.

Lol, I might try this!

Don’t be rude back. Just ignore. Don’t put any energy into telling kids what to do pre-visit. Just accept that she’ll make a comment and move on. If you don’t put any energy into it maybe she’ll get bored, or if she says it 100x more just accept who she is. Nod and continue on your day.

go to the internet and google seat lid up or down. YOu will find this. Send to MIL.

When should the toilet seat be up or down?

Seat and lid down is the best neutral position for both genders, so you both always know you have to lift the lid (and maybe the seat too if you're male, which is easy to do in the same motion by which you lift the lid).

Honestly, I'm with your MIL. Open toilet lids skeez me out. Teach your kids to close them - mine have never once pinched fingers. It's a good life skill.

Anonymous wrote:We almost never close the toilet lids. I'd tell her to get over it. Actually, I'd make my husband tell her or I'd make a big deal of saying "oh honey you need to go shut the toilet lid - you know that bothers your mother". She's rude.

I love this!

Sorry your MIL is a nut.

We almost never close the toilet lids. I'd tell her to get over it. Actually, I'd make my husband tell her or I'd make a big deal of saying "oh honey you need to go shut the toilet lid - you know that bothers your mother". She's rude.

Anonymous wrote:I would make a huge scene apologizing to her for the inconvenience.

Lol, I might try this!

Anonymous wrote:They make these soft close seat and lid now. They're so much better than the old heavy seats. I'd change all the toilet seats in the house just to upgrade my own family's daily comfort, and your kids will have no trouble with closing them anymore.

We have them! It’s actually the lifting. The problem is that they have to be lifted to a certain point to actually “soft close”, and my kids always seem to… not get there lol and it comes crashing down.

I would make a huge scene apologizing to her for the inconvenience.

They make these soft close seat and lid now. They're so much better than the old heavy seats. I'd change all the toilet seats in the house just to upgrade my own family's daily comfort, and your kids will have no trouble with closing them anymore.

This is petty but I find myself triggered and wonder if this is as egregious as MIL makes it out to be.

We have kids. I don’t leave the toilet seat lid down. We’ve had it come crashing down on fingers, pinching and troubles lifting it, etc. It’s just easier for the kids to leave it up at all times. MIL is completely put off by the toilet seat being left up. I’d say 75% of the time I go in and put it down when I know she’s coming over. I remind the kids to remember to put it down if we have company, but they often forget. Whenever she comes over and uses the bathroom and finds the lid up, she has to make a dramatic scene about it upon reentering the room. I’m so tired of it and want to put a stop to it, but I don’t know what to say.