Anonymous wrote:Are these all the new norm?

If seems like everyone around me has 50 extra hours a week to devote to everything.

Am I the worst mom ever for not preparing with daily $50-100 Advent calendars?

Why do you care? Being the best mom means doing what YOU have time, energy and a desire to do. Best moms don’t compare themselves to others and have confidence. Be a best mom.

Anonymous wrote:We started elf last year bc my then 11 yo wanted to help. I buy a kit and she does it all. Fun for her.

We do advents, but OP I see what you mean — I would never ever ever ever do again the types of advents that are an activity. How (not) fun is it to pull a random paper at 8:00 at night that says “have hot cocoa” or “watch a movie together” or “make cookies.” Then you have to tell the kids you’ll do it tomorrow. Disappointment. And now I have several of those tasks for follow up on, building and building.

Now, for holiday activities, I write the stuff we want to do. I take that list and make a “prep” list. The stuff we have to do to make it happen.

From Dec 1-12, I do the prep list. From Dec 12-25, we do the fun list.

Why would the advent things be random? Wouldn’t you be writing them and putting them behind the door so you know what’s coming?

We just do the open a door and look at a little picture one. So those are random, but maybe I am misunderstanding what other people do.

We have a busy holiday season but we don't do any of that stuff. We've got an nativity scene Advent calendar we do every year plus a Lego one, but nothing personalized or that takes work. We don't see Santa anymore (DD's request), but when we did we just went to the mall. We've never done Elf on the Shelf (one year my mom gave us a religious alternative, Shepherd on the Search, but we just hid it every day, it wasn't hard).

We do the stuff we enjoy doing. We watch Muppet Christmas Carol, we see the Nutcracker, my wife goes to tea with her mom and DD, we decorate cookies. It's busy but it's all stuff we like, so it's not really work.

We do

Paper advent calendars
Advent candles and prayers
Drive around to see lights
Put up a nativity
Decorate a tree and get a new ornament for each child
Bake cookies
Zoom Santa (my kids like this so much better than mall Santa)
Nutcracker
Christmas pjs (that then get worn all year)
Lots of homemade presents by and for kids
Church

We don’t do
Elf on the shelf
Train
Other decorations

You're obviously not sincerely asking if you're a bad mother for not doing things, but rather judging those who do, right? Why do you care? Look, I'm 60 years old and parented little ones before Elf on the Shelf became a thing. I lamented quite a bit that I didn't have more time or money to do more special things for my children over the holiday season, but I certainly never judged or looked down on those who did. Why do any of you care that some people enjoy Christmas and wish to make the most out of what for them is a special time?

We started elf last year bc my then 11 yo wanted to help. I buy a kit and she does it all. Fun for her.

We do advents, but OP I see what you mean — I would never ever ever ever do again the types of advents that are an activity. How (not) fun is it to pull a random paper at 8:00 at night that says “have hot cocoa” or “watch a movie together” or “make cookies.” Then you have to tell the kids you’ll do it tomorrow. Disappointment. And now I have several of those tasks for follow up on, building and building.

Now, for holiday activities, I write the stuff we want to do. I take that list and make a “prep” list. The stuff we have to do to make it happen.

From Dec 1-12, I do the prep list. From Dec 12-25, we do the fun list.

We do a train ride, the elf moves around each night and have an Advent tree we use each year. Doesnt seem over kill.

We just move the Elf. And my husband is from the UK so we’ve always done advents. Eff polar express lol

We have traditions, but pick and choose each year. Elf on the shelf has always just moved spots, no big productions. Next

We did a polar express type thing 3 different times - once when the kids were all under 5 with grandparents, once at 7/5/3 and once at 11/9/7 so the younger two could remember it. We probably won’t ever do it again. That was the “big” Santa visit those years. We did a basic Santa brunch when the older two were very small and saw free Santa’s at an event/store the other years.

Pre covid, advent calendars were something small like taking turns opening a Christmas book (that we already owned), moving the count down blocks, etc. Covid year, we didn’t see any family (no one local) and needed something to look forward to, so I bought lego ones. Which lead to buying either lego or playmobil the next 2 years. This year, my mil unprompted created one for each kid which is good because I had nothing.

Pick and choose what you want to do. This is probably my last year with a “believer” so it’s tempting to try to get something else in.

It’s a season for us but we don’t do any of the things OP lists. The recent co-opting of the advent calendar, of all things, is so weird to me. Advent calendars with chocolates, tea, coffee, cans (!) of wine, jewelry, dog treats (!!). It’s ridiculous.

Just do what you want to do, OP. What’s important to you, not what the internet tells you to do in order to be a “good” parent.

We don't do any of that stuff. The only one that sounds interesting to me is the personalize advent calendar -- I've looked at those reusable calendars on Etsy and they are cute and I know my kid would love it. But it is a big time commitment and it's easier to just buy one at the grocery store. Also I can easily see it getting out of hand as you fill up all the boxes.

Anyone doing ALL those things is doing too much, has too much time on their hands, and probably their kids take a lot of it for granted.

Hahaha ha. No.

Are people really doing *all* of this or are you lumping people together? We go big with elf on the shelf, but don’t don’t advent calendars, Polar Express, etc. and only do a free local Santa with cell phone pics. We do go to Meadowlark for lights, but otherwise just make cocoa and watch movies leading up to Christmas.

Most people I know pick and choose, I don’t know anyone doing all these things. But in the aggregate I’m sure it seems like a lot of people are doing this stuff.

Not the norm in our house. But we purposely don't put a lot of emphasis on the whole Christmas thing. DH and I believe it should be a day, not a season.

Are these all the new norm?

If seems like everyone around me has 50 extra hours a week to devote to everything.

Am I the worst mom ever for not preparing with daily $50-100 Advent calendars?