Anonymous
12/01/2023 22:41
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
It sounds like you’d prefer a confrontation and they’re being polite instead.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 22:35
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all for trying. I don't think any of you hit on anything that resonates with me. My mother's dead and I only see my father about twice a year, so I'll just try to avoid sitting near him going forward.
Yet you specifically mentioned "my parents", "either of them", plural, in your post. You wanted a gotcha moment? I think you've just revealed to us that you're completely crazy.
Yeah, your response is weird OP. You spoke of them like this was an ongoing frequent thing, and then responded like we were all weird for not knowing it was just your dad twice a year.
Is it that they have always done this and it has always irritated you so when you think about it you are imagining all of the times it happened?
Anyway, my dad use to do this (he is deceased) and I really disliked it because he never listened to my response which was I would just help myself. Instead, he repetitively went through each item, continuously interrupting my meal.
I've since figured out that he was probably on the spectrum and this was some sort of routine for him. So he had to do it and I was just a bystander. It was frustrating for me because I was interpreting it as a social gesture and frustrated why he didn't change to accommodate my social feedback. But it wasn't social and really had nothing to do with me.
Sorry - I didn't mean to create a gotcha at all. But thinking back, yes my mother did this when I was a kid/teen and it drove me nuts even then. We had a four person table - I could reach anything I needed. I wasn't shy with my immediate family about asking for anything I wanted. My dad never used to do it, and I bet now he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 21:30
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all for trying. I don't think any of you hit on anything that resonates with me. My mother's dead and I only see my father about twice a year, so I'll just try to avoid sitting near him going forward.
Yet you specifically mentioned "my parents", "either of them", plural, in your post. You wanted a gotcha moment? I think you've just revealed to us that you're completely crazy.
Yeah, your response is weird OP. You spoke of them like this was an ongoing frequent thing, and then responded like we were all weird for not knowing it was just your dad twice a year.
Is it that they have always done this and it has always irritated you so when you think about it you are imagining all of the times it happened?
Anyway, my dad use to do this (he is deceased) and I really disliked it because he never listened to my response which was I would just help myself. Instead, he repetitively went through each item, continuously interrupting my meal.
I've since figured out that he was probably on the spectrum and this was some sort of routine for him. So he had to do it and I was just a bystander. It was frustrating for me because I was interpreting it as a social gesture and frustrated why he didn't change to accommodate my social feedback. But it wasn't social and really had nothing to do with me.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 21:14
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all for trying. I don't think any of you hit on anything that resonates with me. My mother's dead and I only see my father about twice a year, so I'll just try to avoid sitting near him going forward.
Yet you specifically mentioned "my parents", "either of them", plural, in your post. You wanted a gotcha moment? I think you've just revealed to us that you're completely crazy.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 21:12
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
OP here. Thanks all for trying. I don't think any of you hit on anything that resonates with me. My mother's dead and I only see my father about twice a year, so I'll just try to avoid sitting near him going forward.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 21:02
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
You need to discuss this with a qualified therapist. Good luck.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 20:04
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
I think the clue is when you say your parents don’t like you. You have a bad relationship and so you are irrationally angered by meaningless things. You are sublimating the anger you feel about other things onto this innocuous food offering. It’s not about the food plate.
(Also it’s possible they are offering you food more often than your sister because they know the relationship is awkward and this is their way of trying to interact with you in a no controversial way. They can’t ask you how tings are going at work, so they ask you if you want some mashed potatos).
(Also it’s possible they are offering you food more often than your sister because they know the relationship is awkward and this is their way of trying to interact with you in a no controversial way. They can’t ask you how tings are going at work, so they ask you if you want some mashed potatos).
Anonymous
12/01/2023 19:58
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
That should not make you feel rage, If you're not in therapy already, try talking to your primary care about how you're feeling, maybe she/he has helpful suggestions.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Anonymous
12/01/2023 19:50
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
If my child was frequently enraged around me, I would probably bend over backwards to reach out to them and be solicitous. Maybe the reason they don’t try so hard with your sibling is because they don’t feel they have to.
It’s easy for families to misunderstand each other. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and attribute the best possible motives to them instead of the worse.
I don’t know whether or not they like you, but it is possible to love someone deeply and not like them. It is also possible to like someone and be bad at showing it.
It’s easy for families to misunderstand each other. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and attribute the best possible motives to them instead of the worse.
I don’t know whether or not they like you, but it is possible to love someone deeply and not like them. It is also possible to like someone and be bad at showing it.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 19:24
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
You should get checked for thyroid issues, and other medical/menopausal problems that make you weirdly irritated.
My mother annoys me to no end, but for real reasons, like she calls us fat when we're not, or something like that. Not for being overly solicitous.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 19:22
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
You’re an ingrate that’s why.
Anonymous
12/01/2023 19:09
Subject: Why does this make me feel rage?
When eating with family that includes my parents, why do I get so annoyed by either of them trying to hand me a dish and asking if I want some of whatever it is, or asking if I want a dish nowhere near them on the table.
I'm a grown woman, with working arms and eyes. I can get or ask for whatever I want. They don't even particularly like me - no idea why they do this multiple times throughout a meal. They don't do it to my sibling. Why does this drive me so nuts?
I'm a grown woman, with working arms and eyes. I can get or ask for whatever I want. They don't even particularly like me - no idea why they do this multiple times throughout a meal. They don't do it to my sibling. Why does this drive me so nuts?