Anonymous wrote:ILs live 45 minutes away. I love staying with them because they help with the kids. I get to sleep in and kids get pancakes for breakfast.

I look forward to staying the long thanksgiving weekend with them. We come early on Thursday and help prep the thanksgiving meal, enjoy leftovers and spend time together. I know I am one of the lucky ones.

When they can’t host anymore then we will host and a new tradition will start.

I would love this to be what we did at both sets of in-laws, but it is not offered on one side. Everyone comfortable/likes different things. Are you taking other vacations with DH? Is your frustration about Thanksgiving or burning vacation time in places you don’t want because you don’t have a lot? Meaning, if you were traveling at other times would in-law time still bother you? Or is it you have no children and live close so just want own bed?

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?

Your tradition? What will the two of you do alone on Thanksgiving? Go to Denny’s?

You can’t possibly be this stupid.

ILs live 45 minutes away. I love staying with them because they help with the kids. I get to sleep in and kids get pancakes for breakfast.

I look forward to staying the long thanksgiving weekend with them. We come early on Thursday and help prep the thanksgiving meal, enjoy leftovers and spend time together. I know I am one of the lucky ones.

When they can’t host anymore then we will host and a new tradition will start.

Yes, but it’s in a rotation. It’s in the mix, on both sides. We sometimes have people stay with us, we sometimes stay with parents or siblings, but it’s a mix. We all share in the experience of traveling/being a guest (or being a host).

My parents are traveling to us this Christmas, but we traveled to them last Thanksgiving. It’s a mix. We would never agree to ALWAYS travel. And sometimes, when it suits us, we stay in a hotel instead of with family, especially as my ILs’ house is tiny and only has two bathrooms.

Anonymous wrote:So you want to exclude family from your "own" traditions? You sound like a pouty kid.

This.

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?

Your tradition? What will the two of you do alone on Thanksgiving? Go to Denny’s?

I did not before we had kids, but now that we have kids (and ILs have a comfortable house) we stay. It's convenient and more relaxed.

A lot depends on how far away, and what he thinks is important about staying there.

So you want to exclude family from your "own" traditions? You sound like a pouty kid.

Yes - if they have comfortable space and are up for hosting, I stay with family when we visit

I don’t spend the night at my in laws anymore because we moved to live closer to them (still an hour away but much closer than we used to live) so now when we visit we always go home before bed. When we lived far away, we only visited them a few times per year so we always stayed overnight for a week or so when we came.

Pre kids DH and I traveled over Thanksgiving. I really cherise and miss those days. With kids we usually spend one night at an in laws house. And it is fun to be together and I'm glad we do it and that is our tradition now. I imagine once the kids are older we will have a different tradition. Doing something now doesn't mean you have to every year.

Hmm. I stayed with inlaws like this until I was pregnant with our first. DH and I talked about it when we first got married. Being childless and young, we could sacrifice and travel like this at the start, then change course.

Is your own family in the mix, OP? Do you spend time with them?

And if you want to host your own Thanksgiving, attend elsewhere, or fly off to the tropics, that should at least be up for discussion with your spouse at some point. It sounds like more is going on than just spending the night at the ILs.

How close do you live to one another? Are your parents alive?

My husband has been insistent since we got married that he stay over at his parents house for a few days at Thanksgiving.

We do not have children yet.

I feel like...what about our own traditions?