Dh and I together give a gift to his parents. Sometimes it's something we know each of them will like, sometimes it's a gift for them both - like the year we signed them up for a wine subscription - two bottles of wine per month for a year. But we also told them we don't want stuff and experiences are more meaningful to us. One year they took our family to see the Rockettes and out to dinner. That was awesome.

My parents and MIL give multiple gifts to everyone. They love shopping and I think it’s more about that. We give what makes sense. For example, when MIL wanted a new recliner that’s what she got and that’s it. It was expensive. When my parents kept saying they didn’t drink enough water, we got them the water bottles with the time on it and other gifts since they are cheap.

My parents give multiple gifts (10+) to everyone and expect multiple gifts in return. It is so tedious and wasteful and I hate it. I have no idea what to get them! I have asked for the gift exchange to be pared back many, many times and they persist. I feel like I can’t give them just one or two gifts when they are standing there with a dozen for me.

I only give multiple gifts to my kids (toddlers). Adults get 0-1 actual wrapped presents and consumables like jam, chocolates, etc. Only more than one gift for an adult if they’re related (eg cookbook for my sister and brother in law’s new grill + grill brush they asked for). But we don’t really keep score or expect reciprocity. I think one gift per person/family is all that’s expected.

My in-laws (who are not Christian) also do multiple gifts per person. I once suggested to my SIL that we just exchange gifts for the kids, but she balked at that. So she gives my family a gift for me, a gift for my husband, one for each kid and then an additional gift for my family. We give her a gift for her and BIL and one for each kid. She hasn't complained that we give 3 gifts total and she give 5 total so that's what I've been doing the last few years.

Parents usually give us 6-10 gifts EACH for Christmas. They are obviously wealthier. Is it ok if we reciprocate with one gift, or should we give them multiple gifts (2-3) as well? We have done both on previous occasions and they have been happier when they receive multiple gifts but it’s kind of a pain buying a few things.