Anonymous
11/14/2023 16:00
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Definitely rent out your current home. People can't afford to buy a house right now due to interest rates and since it's not newly remodeled. It won't matter if the tenants are a little bit rough and you need to change things to move back in in a year or two. Or fix it up and sell it at some point down the road?.
I would move in a heartbeat and the size wouldn't matter if one of us worked outside of the apartment, but I don't know if my husband and I could be together all day every day in under a thousand square feet. Be a relationship could be very different than ours. I love him but my goodness I need some breathing room.
Is he on board with this? Because it might be kind of hard to rent in the winter, so you may need to carry a mortgage for a while.... Might not be the worst thing while you move to the city and see how it goes..... If you don't like it, move back before spring
I would move in a heartbeat and the size wouldn't matter if one of us worked outside of the apartment, but I don't know if my husband and I could be together all day every day in under a thousand square feet. Be a relationship could be very different than ours. I love him but my goodness I need some breathing room.
Is he on board with this? Because it might be kind of hard to rent in the winter, so you may need to carry a mortgage for a while.... Might not be the worst thing while you move to the city and see how it goes..... If you don't like it, move back before spring
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:55
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Chicago?
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
Yes, Chicago. I thought about trying to rent our house, but it's so outdated I'm not sure how that would pan out. Everything is in good working condition and there's no gross carpeting or anything, but the kitchen is from the 70s and the bathrooms are from the 90s.
This is the best way to rent a home, are you kidding? Clean it up, make a few cosmetic and appliance updates, rent it out out a reasonable rate. People can't afford to buy right now.
+1. There are MANY families who have too many kids for a standard 3 bedroom and are dying to move for schools, but can't afford to buy. It will rent easily, especially if you freshen it up a bit or price it slightly below market rate.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:54
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:(1) How's the middle school in the city? You're right that many urban elementaries are good to great, and there are many application options for high school, but the choke point is often middle school. That said, if you're saving money, private may be an option for middle and high school.
(2) How small is SMALL? Under 1,000sq or over? If you're comparing it to a sprawling 5 bedroom suburban house, then it may feel small but actually be a perfectly livable size for many city dwellers. 2 bedrooms + den sounds like it would be big enough for me, particularly since you have the den to use as a second kid bedroom if they don't like sharing and because you have your grandparents' unit to spill into.
(3) Instead of selling, could you rent out your current house? That way you hold onto your interest rate and have the ability to move back if the city life doesn't work out. I would tell you to sell and go if rates were lower, but you are absolutely right that you may be shooting yourself in the foot if you'll have to move in the next 5-10 years because of schools or the house being sold.
Do not worry about moving your older child more than once. She's still SO young that she'll forget in a few months max (mine switched between pre-K4 and K, and by 1st grade could not remember any of the kids she went to two years of pre-K with even though we ran into them occasionally). And it's totally different to switch school locations with your entire grade than move school districts.
Thanks so much for all the thoughts! The school across the street is actually PreK through 8th grade so no worrying about middle school.
I think the apartment is 1400sqft. It was actually the butler and maids quarters in the original house
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:53
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
You've been miserable for 8 years so what do you have to lose?
I would have been hesitant about the "walkability" of everything. Like Costco is not walkable. Driving kids around in a city would seriously freak me out. But everything can be delivered these days.
I would have been hesitant about the "walkability" of everything. Like Costco is not walkable. Driving kids around in a city would seriously freak me out. But everything can be delivered these days.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:53
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Chicago?
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
Yes, Chicago. I thought about trying to rent our house, but it's so outdated I'm not sure how that would pan out. Everything is in good working condition and there's no gross carpeting or anything, but the kitchen is from the 70s and the bathrooms are from the 90s.
This is the best way to rent a home, are you kidding? Clean it up, make a few cosmetic and appliance updates, rent it out out a reasonable rate. People can't afford to buy right now.
This. And take it year by year. So get yourself ready to move to the city asap and rent your current house out.
Not sure what your current savings rate is, but an extra 24k a year is a GREAT amount. Think about what you could do if you could stay at least 2 years?
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:51
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
I never wanted to be a landlord and sold our first place but in your case I would find a management company and rent out your home. Sounds like you can try it for a year and see how it goes.
Also sounds like you are miserable and a change would be good for you (at the very least you might gain an appreciation for the pros and cons of both locations),
Also sounds like you are miserable and a change would be good for you (at the very least you might gain an appreciation for the pros and cons of both locations),
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:49
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:We are not in DC, but another major city. DH and I both grew up in the city and are well traveled "city people". We bought a house before we had kids when we were 26yo thinking we'd go to a great school district in the suburbs and start a family which we did. We are now 34yo with kids ages 5 and 3. Older kid is in Kindergarten at our fantastic public school district, but I just HATE it here. There's no friendly feeling in our neighborhood. We have been here almost 8 years and do not have friendships with any of our neighbors despite really trying. I loathe having to drive everywhere- pack the kids in and out of the car seats, drive to all errands, etc. I hate that every restaurant near us is a fricken chain, there's no independent coffee shops, so many big box stores. We have 5bd/2ba but our house is so outdated, choppy, and I just haven't been able to put money into it because I'm not happy here. The last 3 weekends I've taken my kids on the 8am train into the city and come back before bedtime and just refueled my soul with park hopping, pastries at coffee shops, markets, museums, a play.
My grandparents own a 2 flat in my favorite part of the city. DH and I lived there 4 years before we got married and bought our house. The tenant who replaced us is moving out in April and my grandparents live on the first floor (in their late 80s). I cannot stop thinking about selling our house and moving back up there. Would it be insanely selfish towards my kids to actually consider doing that? My mind is bouncing all over the place.
Pros:
-I'd be where I love and walkable to EVERYTHING- beach, 10 parks, the public school is directly across the street, culture, arts, pubs, restaurants, community, farmers markets, dog parks, boutiques. Can hop on the train 1 block away and be anywhere in the city.
-We have about $100k equity in our house we could pull out if we sold it
-Our mortgage is $2800 and my grandparents would charge us $800 for rent, we'd be saving $2000 per month extra.
-Id get to be near my grandparents and support them as their health declines
Cons:
-We'd lose our 2.75% mortgage which seems so financially irresponsible to give up
-This is morbid but once my grandparents pass away, the building will be sold so we'd likely only get to be there for a few years unless we bought it after that (may be possible if we save that $2k per month). But would likely require another move.
-The public elementary school across the street is highly rated, but the high school district is horrible so we'd have to look at private, testing into a magnet school, or moving (but we'd likely already have to be out of grandparents house well before we hit high school).
-We have no idea what the interest rates or housing markets would be like if we had to buy again in a couple of years, we may have financially screwed ourselves by losing our mortgage rate.
Neutral:
-Older DD would have to switch schools, but our current district has Kindergarten in a different location than elementary school so even if we stayed, she would be at a "new" school next year though half of the kids in her class would be there. Seems like a lot to make her switch to a new district next year and then potentially again in a few more years.
-Dh and I both work fully remote forever so no commutes to consider
-We live right by my in laws which is so nice, but they're moving out of state for retirement. We'd be moving right by my grandparents and mom.
-Going from a 5bd/2ba to 2bed + tiny den, 1ba (apartment is SMALL). On one hand being on top of each other and kids sharing a room seems scary. On the other I just have the vast desire to purge stuff, sell one of our calls, live much more minimalist. The apartment does have both front and back porches and a VERY large fenced in yard and a playground across the street.
WWYD?
I can relate but calm my misery by driving to the walkable town center, driving to the park, driving to the coffee shop, driving and walking in a green space. It would be so nice to live somewhere more urban to be able to get out more and walk. I hate driving everywhere and being cooped up to in the burbs.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:48
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
I’ve lived in
NYC
Chicago
DC
Philly (lowest by a mile)
With no kids would rank in that order.
NYC
Chicago
DC
Philly (lowest by a mile)
With no kids would rank in that order.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:44
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
(1) How's the middle school in the city? You're right that many urban elementaries are good to great, and there are many application options for high school, but the choke point is often middle school. That said, if you're saving money, private may be an option for middle and high school.
(2) How small is SMALL? Under 1,000sq or over? If you're comparing it to a sprawling 5 bedroom suburban house, then it may feel small but actually be a perfectly livable size for many city dwellers. 2 bedrooms + den sounds like it would be big enough for me, particularly since you have the den to use as a second kid bedroom if they don't like sharing and because you have your grandparents' unit to spill into.
(3) Instead of selling, could you rent out your current house? That way you hold onto your interest rate and have the ability to move back if the city life doesn't work out. I would tell you to sell and go if rates were lower, but you are absolutely right that you may be shooting yourself in the foot if you'll have to move in the next 5-10 years because of schools or the house being sold.
Do not worry about moving your older child more than once. She's still SO young that she'll forget in a few months max (mine switched between pre-K4 and K, and by 1st grade could not remember any of the kids she went to two years of pre-K with even though we ran into them occasionally). And it's totally different to switch school locations with your entire grade than move school districts.
(2) How small is SMALL? Under 1,000sq or over? If you're comparing it to a sprawling 5 bedroom suburban house, then it may feel small but actually be a perfectly livable size for many city dwellers. 2 bedrooms + den sounds like it would be big enough for me, particularly since you have the den to use as a second kid bedroom if they don't like sharing and because you have your grandparents' unit to spill into.
(3) Instead of selling, could you rent out your current house? That way you hold onto your interest rate and have the ability to move back if the city life doesn't work out. I would tell you to sell and go if rates were lower, but you are absolutely right that you may be shooting yourself in the foot if you'll have to move in the next 5-10 years because of schools or the house being sold.
Do not worry about moving your older child more than once. She's still SO young that she'll forget in a few months max (mine switched between pre-K4 and K, and by 1st grade could not remember any of the kids she went to two years of pre-K with even though we ran into them occasionally). And it's totally different to switch school locations with your entire grade than move school districts.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:35
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Chicago?
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
Yes, Chicago. I thought about trying to rent our house, but it's so outdated I'm not sure how that would pan out. Everything is in good working condition and there's no gross carpeting or anything, but the kitchen is from the 70s and the bathrooms are from the 90s.
This is the best way to rent a home, are you kidding? Clean it up, make a few cosmetic and appliance updates, rent it out out a reasonable rate. People can't afford to buy right now.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:35
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
This sounds like a fun adventure. I'd do it.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:33
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Location trumps everything, always. This is not a permanent choice. Frankly, your cons don't seem like deal breakers and might have alternatives. Can you rent your suburban home?
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:31
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Anonymous wrote:Chicago?
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
Yes, Chicago. I thought about trying to rent our house, but it's so outdated I'm not sure how that would pan out. Everything is in good working condition and there's no gross carpeting or anything, but the kitchen is from the 70s and the bathrooms are from the 90s.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:28
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
Chicago?
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
I’d move in a heartbeat. We had moved to a more suburban part of NW dc and hated it. Moved back to the city and life is easy again. We walk everywhere and now that my kids are getting older, they have so much independence.
One suggestion would be to keep your house and rent it out. Then you’d still keep your mortgage and keep building equity. Otherwise you’ll pay so many transactional fees to sell and then would pay capital gains.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 15:23
Subject: I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?
We are not in DC, but another major city. DH and I both grew up in the city and are well traveled "city people". We bought a house before we had kids when we were 26yo thinking we'd go to a great school district in the suburbs and start a family which we did. We are now 34yo with kids ages 5 and 3. Older kid is in Kindergarten at our fantastic public school district, but I just HATE it here. There's no friendly feeling in our neighborhood. We have been here almost 8 years and do not have friendships with any of our neighbors despite really trying. I loathe having to drive everywhere- pack the kids in and out of the car seats, drive to all errands, etc. I hate that every restaurant near us is a fricken chain, there's no independent coffee shops, so many big box stores. We have 5bd/2ba but our house is so outdated, choppy, and I just haven't been able to put money into it because I'm not happy here. The last 3 weekends I've taken my kids on the 8am train into the city and come back before bedtime and just refueled my soul with park hopping, pastries at coffee shops, markets, museums, a play.
My grandparents own a 2 flat in my favorite part of the city. DH and I lived there 4 years before we got married and bought our house. The tenant who replaced us is moving out in April and my grandparents live on the first floor (in their late 80s). I cannot stop thinking about selling our house and moving back up there. Would it be insanely selfish towards my kids to actually consider doing that? My mind is bouncing all over the place.
Pros:
-I'd be where I love and walkable to EVERYTHING- beach, 10 parks, the public school is directly across the street, culture, arts, pubs, restaurants, community, farmers markets, dog parks, boutiques. Can hop on the train 1 block away and be anywhere in the city.
-We have about $100k equity in our house we could pull out if we sold it
-Our mortgage is $2800 and my grandparents would charge us $800 for rent, we'd be saving $2000 per month extra.
-Id get to be near my grandparents and support them as their health declines
Cons:
-We'd lose our 2.75% mortgage which seems so financially irresponsible to give up
-This is morbid but once my grandparents pass away, the building will be sold so we'd likely only get to be there for a few years unless we bought it after that (may be possible if we save that $2k per month). But would likely require another move.
-The public elementary school across the street is highly rated, but the high school district is horrible so we'd have to look at private, testing into a magnet school, or moving (but we'd likely already have to be out of grandparents house well before we hit high school).
-We have no idea what the interest rates or housing markets would be like if we had to buy again in a couple of years, we may have financially screwed ourselves by losing our mortgage rate.
Neutral:
-Older DD would have to switch schools, but our current district has Kindergarten in a different location than elementary school so even if we stayed, she would be at a "new" school next year though half of the kids in her class would be there. Seems like a lot to make her switch to a new district next year and then potentially again in a few more years.
-Dh and I both work fully remote forever so no commutes to consider
-We live right by my in laws which is so nice, but they're moving out of state for retirement. We'd be moving right by my grandparents and mom.
-Going from a 5bd/2ba to 2bed + tiny den, 1ba (apartment is SMALL). On one hand being on top of each other and kids sharing a room seems scary. On the other I just have the vast desire to purge stuff, sell one of our calls, live much more minimalist. The apartment does have both front and back porches and a VERY large fenced in yard and a playground across the street.
WWYD?
My grandparents own a 2 flat in my favorite part of the city. DH and I lived there 4 years before we got married and bought our house. The tenant who replaced us is moving out in April and my grandparents live on the first floor (in their late 80s). I cannot stop thinking about selling our house and moving back up there. Would it be insanely selfish towards my kids to actually consider doing that? My mind is bouncing all over the place.
Pros:
-I'd be where I love and walkable to EVERYTHING- beach, 10 parks, the public school is directly across the street, culture, arts, pubs, restaurants, community, farmers markets, dog parks, boutiques. Can hop on the train 1 block away and be anywhere in the city.
-We have about $100k equity in our house we could pull out if we sold it
-Our mortgage is $2800 and my grandparents would charge us $800 for rent, we'd be saving $2000 per month extra.
-Id get to be near my grandparents and support them as their health declines
Cons:
-We'd lose our 2.75% mortgage which seems so financially irresponsible to give up
-This is morbid but once my grandparents pass away, the building will be sold so we'd likely only get to be there for a few years unless we bought it after that (may be possible if we save that $2k per month). But would likely require another move.
-The public elementary school across the street is highly rated, but the high school district is horrible so we'd have to look at private, testing into a magnet school, or moving (but we'd likely already have to be out of grandparents house well before we hit high school).
-We have no idea what the interest rates or housing markets would be like if we had to buy again in a couple of years, we may have financially screwed ourselves by losing our mortgage rate.
Neutral:
-Older DD would have to switch schools, but our current district has Kindergarten in a different location than elementary school so even if we stayed, she would be at a "new" school next year though half of the kids in her class would be there. Seems like a lot to make her switch to a new district next year and then potentially again in a few more years.
-Dh and I both work fully remote forever so no commutes to consider
-We live right by my in laws which is so nice, but they're moving out of state for retirement. We'd be moving right by my grandparents and mom.
-Going from a 5bd/2ba to 2bed + tiny den, 1ba (apartment is SMALL). On one hand being on top of each other and kids sharing a room seems scary. On the other I just have the vast desire to purge stuff, sell one of our calls, live much more minimalist. The apartment does have both front and back porches and a VERY large fenced in yard and a playground across the street.
WWYD?