Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

LOL! As is people who are 15 lbs overweight are not fit to be married. Have you ever been to a Walmart?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

That pp didnt say the women were 15-20 pounds overweight. She was careful to say 15-20 pounds more than would be appealing to men. In other words anywhere from 40-60 pounds overweight, depending on the guy and the women.

For me, I have a difficult time with obese men. I am 5'4" and around 120 lbs. My weight is consistent. I tried dating and being intimate with a large man. I just couldn't do it. Most Americans are very overweight if not obese. And then there are smokers, drug addicts, cheaters, abusers. I am not too picky.

I have a friend who is now 50. I've watched her desperately try to find a husband, or even a boyfriend, since she was 35. I don't think she's ever even had a second date.

With her, it is definitely expectations that are way off. She's a 4-5, looking for a 8-9. She's 50 darned years old and keeps talking about "hot guys." She also scares everyone off; she tells people right away that she is looking to get married. They run, lol.

Common sense.

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Cool story

I’m guessing it must have hit a little too close to home.

Ok incel

Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

We'll reach gender equality when dumb women find it entirely normal to say that a man was genuinely attractive facially but dumpy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Cool story

I’m guessing it must have hit a little too close to home.

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Cool story

I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

I dated someone who claimed he wanted marriage and kids. But he started dating late as a PhD, then left his fiancée to move across the world, then proceeded to date highly educated career-minded women who didn't want kids (and eventually moved for work). By the time I got to him he lovebombed me, yet as time passed it was obvious he was set in his ways (ie time consuming team hobbies plus full time job), and was emotionally unavailable. He broke up with me and when I said goodbye then had a tantrum. I saw the writing on the wall that he didn't know what the he** he wanted at nearly 50 and didn't look back.

I guess this falls under unrealistic expectations, but some people seem to not know what they want. Like a woman I know who says she wants to settle down ASAP but consistently goes for the playboy type.

Another reason is financial. I know lots of artsy guys who are self-supporting, but that's their limit. There wouldn't be any money for childcare or anything above the bare minimum for the child. Yet they are not calling themselves child free, and that limits their choices too.

I’ve been noticing several of my single friends complaining about not being married (ages 35-42). I used to offer advice and even help with matchmaking. Now I’m starting to realize these people are single for a reason. Some are not emotionally available, some have very unrealistic expectations, some are selfish, some waste time in dead end matches. It made me wonder what are some other common ways people make getting married hard in this age range?