I feel so sad for this poor little boy.
My son had problems like this so I took a demotion and switched to working evenings so I could be with him during the day. My career will never recover but we were able to get past these problems together.

I’d be fine with you throwing the underwear away. The daycare should suggest they buy a multipack from Target to send the kid in.

Anonymous wrote:It's totally possible the kid had a nanny before who would spot pooping signs and put the kid on a potty. That could look like being potty trained.

Some kids also regress in new environments or are afraid of the flush toilets or their new teachers.

It doesn't sound like we have the full story.

+1

Also might happen if there is any type of age level bullying. One of my DCs (and other kids in the class) had an issue when a problematic kid switched in from another preschool - turns out that kid had been "counseled out" of their prior preschool. That parent got what they wanted because of who they were. It created a problem for other kids, because the new kid literally upset them enough for accidents to start, with kids who had been previously TT for months. These were kids who previously loved school. There were other politics, and we ended up going to a better (in every way, much better) preschool (as did many of the other students).

In this case, why aren't the parents providing a change of clothes, and cheaper u-wear?

Anonymous wrote:It's totally possible the kid had a nanny before who would spot pooping signs and put the kid on a potty. That could look like being potty trained.

Some kids also regress in new environments or are afraid of the flush toilets or their new teachers.

It doesn't sound like we have the full story.

Regardless of the "full story," the father is being ridiculous.

Blowouts as you describe sounds like diarrhea in which case kids gets sent home and not return for at least 24hrs

It's totally possible the kid had a nanny before who would spot pooping signs and put the kid on a potty. That could look like being potty trained.

Some kids also regress in new environments or are afraid of the flush toilets or their new teachers.

It doesn't sound like we have the full story.

Why are they putting the child in "expensive" underwear when they know the child has blowouts?

Yeesh.

Anonymous wrote:The law is pretty clear on this in most states. The day care must attend to the toileting needs of the child. https://law.lis.virginia.gov/admincode/title8/agency20/chapter800/section690/.

I'm jumping in here because we had a child who was very late and also had gastric issues. Turned out DC was autistic but testing wasn't showing it at the time. In fact, testing indicated high I.Q., blah blah blah. I later found out that delayed toileting is common for kids on the spectrum and of course so are digestive issues. Our preschool worked with us on the issue. We started DC in therapy, too, but even the therapist didn't make the link to autism (nor did the peditrician)

I saw nothing in there about poopy underwear.

Anonymous wrote:The law is pretty clear on this in most states. The day care must attend to the toileting needs of the child. https://law.lis.virginia.gov/admincode/title8/agency20/chapter800/section690/.

I'm jumping in here because we had a child who was very late and also had gastric issues. Turned out DC was autistic but testing wasn't showing it at the time. In fact, testing indicated high I.Q., blah blah blah. I later found out that delayed toileting is common for kids on the spectrum and of course so are digestive issues. Our preschool worked with us on the issue. We started DC in therapy, too, but even the therapist didn't make the link to autism (nor did the peditrician)

This isn't about SN. Mine was a late PT kid due to SN and the preschool was flexible and when we had to switch, they insisted child be PT and we did and they were ok with a few occasionally accidents because of the SN but not multiple times a day.

Kids have accidents but if the requirement is for a child to be PT and they aren't, they need to go to a lower classroom or leave the day care until they are PT. I would expect the underpants to be returned soiled so I can wash them.

Anonymous wrote:The law is pretty clear on this in most states. The day care must attend to the toileting needs of the child. https://law.lis.virginia.gov/admincode/title8/agency20/chapter800/section690/.

I'm jumping in here because we had a child who was very late and also had gastric issues. Turned out DC was autistic but testing wasn't showing it at the time. In fact, testing indicated high I.Q., blah blah blah. I later found out that delayed toileting is common for kids on the spectrum and of course so are digestive issues. Our preschool worked with us on the issue. We started DC in therapy, too, but even the therapist didn't make the link to autism (nor did the peditrician)

How does this address the issue at hand? The child's toileting needs were fully addressed and have been.

The law is pretty clear on this in most states. The day care must attend to the toileting needs of the child. https://law.lis.virginia.gov/admincode/title8/agency20/chapter800/section690/.

I'm jumping in here because we had a child who was very late and also had gastric issues. Turned out DC was autistic but testing wasn't showing it at the time. In fact, testing indicated high I.Q., blah blah blah. I later found out that delayed toileting is common for kids on the spectrum and of course so are digestive issues. Our preschool worked with us on the issue. We started DC in therapy, too, but even the therapist didn't make the link to autism (nor did the peditrician)

Anonymous wrote:I think the daycare should move to warning him that his child will be disenrolled if the situation doesn't get better, because right now it's posing an undue burden on the staff.

+1, this is awful.

I started reading this thread with trepidation because I had a kid who really struggled with potty training and started preschool at 3-almost-4 but was still having accidents. So I was ready to be sympathetic to the parents here. But not poop accidents! I'm talking a handful of pee accidents in the first month of preschool. And I was super apologetic and grateful to the staff for helping my kid with it, and we figured it out together and it wasn't an issue again. Plus I was totally honest with them when she started, and told them she had potty trained somewhat recently and still sometimes had a hard time initiating going to the bathroom on her own. I didn't see any point in trying to hide the situation when of course they were going to find out.

I have heard of preschools that simply call parents if their kid has a poop accident and asks them to come take care of it. This forces the issue so that parents either withdraw the kid or actually make potty training happen.

I think the daycare should move to warning him that his child will be disenrolled if the situation doesn't get better, because right now it's posing an undue burden on the staff.

What would you think of this?

The child is three (almost four) and is supposed to be potty trained (and the parents stated on his application that he was), and has poo blowouts at day care at least twice a week. He has multiple on demand chances to use the potty, and also is brought to the bathroom on a strict schedule. He still poos in his pants. When the father arrives five minutes before 6:00 p.m. (closing time), he is told that his son had a blowout and the underwear was so soiled it was disposed of. Instead of thanking the provider for cleaning and changing him, he tells her not to throw the underwear out because it is expensive. He states that last week during the other blowout the underwear was disposed of too. Stop doing that, he says. Put it in a plastic bag so he can take it home and his wife will wash it.

Just... stop. No wonder childcare workers are leaving in droves.