Anonymous wrote:Hold her bacj

Why boo?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would. No need to rush her through K-12. She will be better prepared and more mature when the times comes for college decisions, career paths, and being successful in college. The youngest people I knew in school growing up were the Nov/Dec birthdays and every one that I can think of took 5 yrs to graduate and had some big bumps along the way- even though they were objectively smart and did well in high school

She wouldn’t be rushing though, she’s going on time..

NP. I'm a tiny bit confused. So where OP is the cut off is in December -- does that mean that if she starts her daughter "on time" she'll start K as a 5 yr old and turn 6 in November? In that case I would absolutely send her unless there were a specific reason not to (like a developmental delay). This will also put her in line with the vast majority of kids in the country so she would be starting college with the same age cohort. Turning 7 two months into kindergarten sounds aggressive to me.

If the suggestion is that "on time" means starting her at age 4 and then she will turn 5 in November, I'd lean much more heavily towards redshirting, especially if it's fairly common in your area, because I think that's young for K and will also mean she's young compared to her grade cohort nationally.

I have an August birthday in a place with a 9/30 cut off and started her on time and it has been great. Very hard to imagine her being a year behind this in school, and I actually think being among the youngest has helped her build her social skills because she has had to learn to speak up and be assertive when her personality upon starting school was a bit more shy.

…..no. It’s New York

Anonymous wrote:I would. No need to rush her through K-12. She will be better prepared and more mature when the times comes for college decisions, career paths, and being successful in college. The youngest people I knew in school growing up were the Nov/Dec birthdays and every one that I can think of took 5 yrs to graduate and had some big bumps along the way- even though they were objectively smart and did well in high school

This - we had a similar decision and decided to hold her, not bc of anything we saw at the time…more preemptively thinking forward to middle / high school and not wanting her to be the youngest. A big part of the decision making process was the fact that holding summer birthdays IS so common in our area. She’s in 6th grade now and I definitely feel good about the decision / would do it again

Hold her bacj

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would. No need to rush her through K-12. She will be better prepared and more mature when the times comes for college decisions, career paths, and being successful in college. The youngest people I knew in school growing up were the Nov/Dec birthdays and every one that I can think of took 5 yrs to graduate and had some big bumps along the way- even though they were objectively smart and did well in high school

She wouldn’t be rushing though, she’s going on time..

NP. I'm a tiny bit confused. So where OP is the cut off is in December -- does that mean that if she starts her daughter "on time" she'll start K as a 5 yr old and turn 6 in November? In that case I would absolutely send her unless there were a specific reason not to (like a developmental delay). This will also put her in line with the vast majority of kids in the country so she would be starting college with the same age cohort. Turning 7 two months into kindergarten sounds aggressive to me.

If the suggestion is that "on time" means starting her at age 4 and then she will turn 5 in November, I'd lean much more heavily towards redshirting, especially if it's fairly common in your area, because I think that's young for K and will also mean she's young compared to her grade cohort nationally.

I have an August birthday in a place with a 9/30 cut off and started her on time and it has been great. Very hard to imagine her being a year behind this in school, and I actually think being among the youngest has helped her build her social skills because she has had to learn to speak up and be assertive when her personality upon starting school was a bit more shy.

We had one of the youngest kids in the class, started on time at barely 5. Kid graduated high school at 17 and is now on the dean's list at a competitive university.

The youngest kids in the class have to work just a little bit harder to keep up with the redshirts. But that is a GOOD thing in the long run, because your kid begins to develop a work ethic. Nothing is really handed to them, they have to work a little bit harder for everything. It instill drive, and motivation. Our kid has a competitive spirit, and is used to working harder because it was ingrained in early elementary.

It pays off later, OP. Start your kid on time and do not look back.

Anonymous wrote:I would. No need to rush her through K-12. She will be better prepared and more mature when the times comes for college decisions, career paths, and being successful in college. The youngest people I knew in school growing up were the Nov/Dec birthdays and every one that I can think of took 5 yrs to graduate and had some big bumps along the way- even though they were objectively smart and did well in high school

She wouldn’t be rushing though, she’s going on time..

I would. No need to rush her through K-12. She will be better prepared and more mature when the times comes for college decisions, career paths, and being successful in college. The youngest people I knew in school growing up were the Nov/Dec birthdays and every one that I can think of took 5 yrs to graduate and had some big bumps along the way- even though they were objectively smart and did well in high school

There will be other Oct/Nov/Dec birthdays OP. I wouldnt hold back unless you see a legitimate need to.

I think the trouble is that she is the youngest in your family and will be the youngest in class. I'd hold her back.

I would think this is complicated by having an older sibling who you held back — if your kids birthdays are close and one goes on time but the other doesn’t they’ll eventually ask why they’re three years apart in age but only two in school. (I have th opposite problem: kids 23 months apart but straddling the cutoff date so they might be one year apart in school and I worry about sending my younger on time.) That being said, I’m generally a fan ped sending kids on time unless you see something during preschool that suggests they’re not really ready for k yet.

If she's fine, why would you hold her back. My fall child is glad I didn't hold them back. I cannot imagine them being a grade younger.

Anonymous wrote:I live in NY where some school districts and privates are still going by a 12/31 cutoff. My daughter is a November birthday and is the absolute youngest in her class.

At the private she will likely attend for k+, 50% of fall birthdays hold back, more heavily skewed towards boys. My older son is one of them and I see what a difference it has made for him not to be among the youngest for the first time.

What’s your experience been with holding back a girl? My daughter is still in preschool but very much keeps up with older children. That said, I don’t want to rush her. And I don’t like being the last area of the country and in one of the last private schools going by a December cutoff. I just worry that as my daughter gets older, socially and physically, being the oldest might make her self conscious. In the flip side, if she remains the youngest, that could be a different kind of pressure. Right now she is physically small in comparison to most of the kids in her class.

If your daughter is the oldest in the grade, what has their experience been like?

Same with the 12/31 cutoff. I remember for my oldest daughter the girls with fall and winter birthdays went ahead in her preschool and the boys stayed behind. Also all through school the girls birthday parties and boys birthday parties were a year apart in the same grade.

If there was any variation it was usually some boys went early. I don’t remember one girl being held back although I’m sure there were some.

DH and I are from NY too, both of us having fall birthdays and were both among the youngest in our grades. We now live in an area where you must be 5 before starting Kinder, and our DD's birthday is Sept 18. So she is the oldest. In addition she is big for her age. Not fat, but tall and broad - always two sizes bigger in clothing than her age.

Right now in elementary school she does well and is confident and well-liked, but I have a feeling that once she enters puberty before everyone else, she's going to be quite self conscious and uncomfortable. Normally girls are much taller than boys for a few years - she's going to be extra taller than them.

I live in NY where some school districts and privates are still going by a 12/31 cutoff. My daughter is a November birthday and is the absolute youngest in her class.

At the private she will likely attend for k+, 50% of fall birthdays hold back, more heavily skewed towards boys. My older son is one of them and I see what a difference it has made for him not to be among the youngest for the first time.

What’s your experience been with holding back a girl? My daughter is still in preschool but very much keeps up with older children. That said, I don’t want to rush her. And I don’t like being the last area of the country and in one of the last private schools going by a December cutoff. I just worry that as my daughter gets older, socially and physically, being the oldest might make her self conscious. In the flip side, if she remains the youngest, that could be a different kind of pressure. Right now she is physically small in comparison to most of the kids in her class.

If your daughter is the oldest in the grade, what has their experience been like?