Have you met many children with autism that don’t have ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, or executive functioning deficits? It’s like a completely different category than ADHD with some mild ASD symptoms. They really need to change the DSM to have better differentiation. McLean is a good school, sorry it’s not a good fit for your child.

Anonymous wrote:Reply at 12:58. I thought that's what would happen in practice; that's why we went to the open house. But the co-head of school said that the school does not serve ASD kids well. Full stop. No qualification for high-functioning ASD. And it came straight from the horse's mouth. I'm not rigid. I'm not willing to spend the time and money on an application given what the head of school said. And DC got the message. She doesn't want to go there. I don't agree that ASD requires more/different supports in all cases, but McLean made pretty clear that ASD kids need not apply. So, I agree, not a good fit.

PP you replied to. Well, it's your call, OP. I replied the way I did because my son, now a freshman in college, has severe inattentive ADHD, abysmally low processing speed... and was diagnosed with ASD. The ASD makes him asocial, but he's polite and well-behaved, and I'm sure McLean would have worked out for him. In a school setting, what he desperately needed was progressively less executive functioning help, and extended time. He even gets extra time in college.

We're in MoCo, and stuck with MCPS. In elementary school, he had a one-on-one scribe, then pullouts for writing, then in middle/high school, a resource class where he was taught how to stay organized and had extra time to finish assignments and tests. All formalized with an IEP.

I do understand your point that the announcement was poorly worded, and that it makes you think the head of school wants to get a certain message across to prospective families, even if the overgeneralization makes them appear as if they don't understand the complexities of ADHD vs ASD and that a lot of kids have ADHD/ASD.

If you feel strongly about this, you can always make your concerns known to the administration. Let them know they're turning away families who might actually be a great fit.

Reply at 12:58. I thought that's what would happen in practice; that's why we went to the open house. But the co-head of school said that the school does not serve ASD kids well. Full stop. No qualification for high-functioning ASD. And it came straight from the horse's mouth. I'm not rigid. I'm not willing to spend the time and money on an application given what the head of school said. And DC got the message. She doesn't want to go there. I don't agree that ASD requires more/different supports in all cases, but McLean made pretty clear that ASD kids need not apply. So, I agree, not a good fit.

It sounds like McLean might actually be a good fit for your child. Why not meet one on one and see how it goes. I wouldn’t let one mishap/ communication error ruin a chance at a good school.

Anonymous wrote:
OP, it appears your rigidity is making you lose track of what's actually going to happen in practice.

If you're looking for executive functioning help for a kid who also has a mild autism that manifests itself as a slight quirkiness in school, then this school is telling you that it can work. MANY kids have that ADHD/ASD profile.

What they're telling you is that they don't want to address autistic struggles with too many sensory issues, non-compliance with directions, lack of academic skills, etc. They don't want to address aggression or violence, whether it's related to ADHD or ASD on paper.

Since you described your son as mildly ASD, you'll have to weigh whether that works for you. I don't know your kid, but it seems as if this school would be a good fit.

NP. Come on. What OP described is unacceptable behavior from the school regardless of which population they service. They need to be up-front in the registration process for the open house and not spring this on students at the open house. OP is correct that if the school is not clear on their website and in the open house, it’s terrible to handle it the way they did.

I’m sorry that this happened. I would be angry, too, for exactly the same reasons you are - wasting your time and also generalizing what high functioning autism kids need. I have an autistic/ADHD kid who was diagnosed as a teen, so very high functioning. She is at a mainstream private. She only needs minimal support and that is for her ADHD. I know many successful ASD kids at privates. I recommend looking there. Screw McLean.

OP, it appears your rigidity is making you lose track of what's actually going to happen in practice.

If you're looking for executive functioning help for a kid who also has a mild autism that manifests itself as a slight quirkiness in school, then this school is telling you that it can work. MANY kids have that ADHD/ASD profile.

What they're telling you is that they don't want to address autistic struggles with too many sensory issues, non-compliance with directions, lack of academic skills, etc. They don't want to address aggression or violence, whether it's related to ADHD or ASD on paper.

Since you described your son as mildly ASD, you'll have to weigh whether that works for you. I don't know your kid, but it seems as if this school would be a good fit.

Anonymous wrote:PP: If you think that ADHD kids and ASD kids need separate supports, then you don't know much about ASD and ADHD. Many ASD kids don't need additional support for ASD diagnosis, but they do for the ADHD component, because executive functioning is there primary challenge. Indeed, ASD is a spectrum disorder, which means that many ASD kids don't need any support in the classroom environment.
that’s not what that means, often they need more support but again it is so individualistic.

In any event, even if you are correct, why would you make that statement in a room of middle school and high school kids? There are more sensitive ways of handling it.

I’ve worked with SN kids more than half my life and am ND myself. I get it. I think you have to look at an individual to determine a best fit, not a diagnosis. I probably wouldn’t have worded it that way but don’t think providing this information at an informational meeting is a big deal. Personally I’d check back with the school and see if it would be a good fit, every child is different, diagnosis is just a label.

Precisely. If you don't want ASD kids, put that on your website, and say that in the emails from your admissions office, which I literally receive every day. Don't waste my time. Don't waste my kid's day off school. And don't make my kid hear that at an open house.

I’m sorry OP. They definitely should specify that limitation in their marketing materials if they are willing to say it at an open house. Especially if they are welcoming prospective students to the tours. I’m sorry your daughter was othered today.

* their. It's been a tough morning.

PP: If you think that ADHD kids and ASD kids need separate supports, then you don't know much about ASD and ADHD. Many ASD kids don't need additional support for ASD diagnosis, but they do for the ADHD component, because executive functioning is there primary challenge. Indeed, ASD is a spectrum disorder, which means that many ASD kids don't need any support in the classroom environment.

In any event, even if you are correct, why would you make that statement in a room of middle school and high school kids? There are more sensitive ways of handling it.

It’s a completely different set of skills to teach ADHD vs autism. People group these diagnoses together so often yet they’re very different interventions. Different classroom set ups, different evaluations, just different all around. I also think it’s a strong over generalization to say most kids with ADHD have “behavioral issues” and most with autism don’t. This varies as much as individual children do. Just accept that not every school is fit for every child. I think it’s useful that they told you up front what they are equipped to handle. That doesn’t seem mean to me it sounds like useful information.

See this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/914011.page

DC has an ADHD/mild ASD diagnosis. We went to the McLean School Open House this morning. We thought it might be a good fit for ninth grade because it advertises itself as serving ADHD kids with the types of accommodations DC receives in middle school.

Here's how McLean markets itself (from its website):

"Each application is assessed on an individual basis to ensure that McLean is able to meet the needs of our students. While McLean provides embedded academic support in the classroom, we are most successful with bright students whose primary challenge is not behavioral, social, or emotional."

DC's primary challenges are executive-functioning related. DC has a very slow processing speed. With accommodations, DC is getting straight As and is taking Algebra in eighth grade.

We thought, cool. This could work.

Nope.

During her presentation, the co-head of school said: "Here's who we do well serving: Kids with ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, or executive functioning deficits. Here's who we do not service well: Kids on the autism spectrum." Categorically.

As anyone with a special needs kid knows, lots of ADHD kids have pretty serious behavioral/social/emotional issues, and a lot of ASD kids don't. Indeed, as they say, "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."

My daughter was sitting next to me in a room of parents and prospective students when the head of school made this statement. She was mortified. Why would you make that statement to a group of middle-school and high-school kids who might have an ASD diagnosis?

If McLean doesn't want kids with ASD, then it should say so on its website. The primary challenge for many ADHD/ASD kids is not "behavioral, social, or emotional." They might be socially awkward, but they have friends, play sports, and function well in a mainstream environment." Or, if the school is willing to take ASD kids who do not have "behavioral/social/emotional issues," then do not state that as a category, you do not serve ASD kids well.

It really sucked for my kid to go to an open house, only to hear, "You're not welcome here." We walked out.

McLean in its presentation stated that is not a "therapeutic school," even though it provides all the supports that kids get in their public school 504 plans and IEPs. My take is that McLean is concerned that if it takes ASD kids (whether they'll do well there or not), it will be viewed as a "therapeutic school." ADHD is fine, but ASD has a stigma attached.

In any event, if you have an ASD kid, don't go to the open house. Don't apply. The school seems...mean.