If I suspected this, that kid would go into no stores with me. End of discussion. You don’t have to have evidence. You tell her what you think is happening and you make the decisions about where she goes. End of discussion.

Anonymous wrote:When our teen shoplifted we took her back to the stores and sat there at the entrance and watched her return every item and apologize. She is an adult now and said she never did it again after that. It was a grueling few hours and she was banned from at least one store afterwards.

(I guess I should add we are white and the above makes me feel privileged because I had no significant concerns of disproportionate consequences. With all the increased awareness of our justice system I don't think as a friend I'd suggest this route to friends of color because what if it swept you up in the "system")

When our teen shoplifted we took her back to the stores and sat there at the entrance and watched her return every item and apologize. She is an adult now and said she never did it again after that. It was a grueling few hours and she was banned from at least one store afterwards.

Anonymous wrote:What does this have to do with special needs? Is your tween diagnosed with sociopathy or something?

Not OP but way bigger impulse control with ADHD and it can be very different in the teen years. Shoplifting is common with many teens in this area, unfortunately.

I have two with ADHD and one hung with a group of kids who shoplifted for a thrills. We tried lots of things from a discipline standpoint to keep him away from them until he shoplifted too and was caught.

He didn’t go anywhere unsupervised for months and wasn’t allowed back to the Tyson’s for a year (their punishment). It’s been over a year and he has no desire to see those kids anymore and has no desire to go to the mall at all.

He now talks how it was a combination of bad choices, doing what the friends were doing and impulsivity.

I recommend you keep a close eye, as much as you can. Encourage hanging out at your house vs. stores.

I worked in a store at Tysons for a while, a store that was very popular with tweens/teens. We had a terrible time with shoplifting, and it was mostly from young kids. They'd come in in a group of 4-6 and immediately spread out in the store and we couldn't watch them all. They'd all go into the dressing rooms to try on an outfit and they'd be hiding jewelry under the clothes and put the jewelry into their bag in the dressing rooms. Our policy was to take everything from customers in the dressing room and hang it up for them but that gets hard when there are half a dozen 12 year olds swarming into the dressing room at once. Basically, we eventually gave up and just let them steal. Fighting it was like railing at the sea.

What does this have to do with special needs? Is your tween diagnosed with sociopathy or something?

Don’t let them in stores unsupervised.

What would you do if you suspected your tween is shoplifting? I’m furious but I can’t tell for sure that this is happening.