I hate this kind of thing. Ds wants to tot with a group that is more risk taking. I want him to tot with an old friend that I trust way more. I can't overrule ds' plans he's been making for weeks because of my own preferences. He's too old for my social engineering now

This happened to me when I was older, I think I was 13. It really sucks OP. I'm sorry for your kid, if they bailed because they couldn't go tot, fine, but to bail and still go with other friends is mean. Why don't they invite this other friend? More the merrier imo.

Anonymous wrote:^ If you want to be bold send a reply like “Kind of late to change plans! Can [my kid] join the other group? Don’t want her to be disappointed about having to ToT alone”

If your neighborhood does something, and even if it doesn’t, just do your own thing. I sent something like above once- not the “kind of late” part but something like “bigger group sounds fun-would it be ok if Larlo joined too?” I quickly regretted sending when my asking went from the one parent to others and then to kids that my kid wasn’t invited until mom forced them… at time asked I didn’t think was big deal, but learned lesson hard way.

^ If you want to be bold send a reply like “Kind of late to change plans! Can [my kid] join the other group? Don’t want her to be disappointed about having to ToT alone”

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your kid part of a larger group? If so, no big deal. If not and it was a one-on-one thing, extremely rude. If the other kid wanted to join the other group, they should have asked your kid to join too. That would probably be okay in my book.

It was just a one on one thing. Our neighborhood gets very festive at Halloween and we've been doing this for a few years. There was no apology, no acknowledgment, anything. Honestly, I think they decided to host a separate group.

Ugh, I hate them on your behalf. So many adults here have piss poor social skills. I know it won’t help, but I am sorry.

Better would have been to ask if yours wanted to go to the other ToT together, instead of just bigger better dealing

Anonymous wrote:Is your kid part of a larger group? If so, no big deal. If not and it was a one-on-one thing, extremely rude. If the other kid wanted to join the other group, they should have asked your kid to join too. That would probably be okay in my book.

It was just a one on one thing. Our neighborhood gets very festive at Halloween and we've been doing this for a few years. There was no apology, no acknowledgment, anything. Honestly, I think they decided to host a separate group.

This isn’t ok at any age. They are just rude, and it’s 100% the parents’ fault at that age—they should be teaching their kids to honor commitments and to be inclusive of all friends (if they wanted to join a different group, the least they could’ve done is invited your kid to join too)

Anonymous wrote:There is no age when bailing is courteous, OP. That family is a bit rude, and next time, I hope you won't make firm plans with them.

I’d never make plans with them again.

Anonymous wrote:There is no age when bailing is courteous, OP. That family is a bit rude, and next time, I hope you won't make firm plans with them.

Very rude.

At that age, parents still social engineer. Guessing that parents saw the other invite as a group they want to socialize with and ToT provides access.

I’m sorry OP. Can you go with the bigger group?

Is your kid part of a larger group? If so, no big deal. If not and it was a one-on-one thing, extremely rude. If the other kid wanted to join the other group, they should have asked your kid to join too. That would probably be okay in my book.

There is no age when bailing is courteous, OP. That family is a bit rude, and next time, I hope you won't make firm plans with them.

Anonymous wrote:At what age do people just start bailing on their friends on Halloween? My kid has had plans with another kid for ToTing for weeks and 2 seconds ago the parents share that the kid decided to go ToTing with another group instead. I'm most annoyed because more notice would have been nice and considerate. We have turned down other invites. They are 8 and 7. How about teaching your kids to honor commitments?

More notice than 4 days?

At what age do people just start bailing on their friends on Halloween? My kid has had plans with another kid for ToTing for weeks and 2 seconds ago the parents share that the kid decided to go ToTing with another group instead. I'm most annoyed because more notice would have been nice and considerate. We have turned down other invites. They are 8 and 7. How about teaching your kids to honor commitments?