My DC got asked to guest with a lower level team a little while ago and the coach didn't even put my DC in (along with other guests and even some of the main team). We were pissed and my child talked about not wanting to play soccer again. My child is younger than yours, but I would not put them in a situation where they are going to be angry at the sport of soccer for wasting their day. My child has too many other interests to make it worth it to sit on the bench for a whole game. They really like soccer, but they don't like soccer enough to sit on the bench. Too many coaches act like soccer is the most important thing in the world and that you should sacrifice everything for the sport. As my spouse says, 'soccer will not love you back', so just don't be disillusioned that the coach has your best interests at heart; they need a backup on the bench and they're not making any promises about trying to develop your kid. Some kids are obsessed with soccer and love to be around the sport at all times, whether they're playing or not. That's not my kid so I wouldn't put them in a situation where they're only going to be disappointed.

Having said all that, if your child is interested and knows what they're getting into, then you have to decide if its worth your time. For my child, I would never put them in that situation again where they would consider quitting soccer, especially if it had that much driving. Soccer is a wonderful sport and I hope my children play it for the rest of their lives, but I am not going to put them into a situation where they are going to dislike soccer more after the event than they did before the event.

Is there a another club close by? It is easier to move up by joining another club. Now that she has played with the higher team you can contact the other club and say your child is in between the first and second team and sometimes plays with the first team and ask if your daughter can attend a practice session with them.

Tell the manager and coach your concerns. Your daughter expected to get more than 5 minutes and it's out of town, meaning time and money. If the coach understands your concerns and says your daughter will play more this weekend, try it out.

Or the coach can just ask for someone else to help the team this weekend. At least everyone is on the same page before the weekend game.

Most of the kids on the lower team of DD's club are happy to get that 5 minutes. They still get to warm up with the team and that's usually 30-45 minutes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is U14 and trying to move up a team in her club. She is committed, works hard, and loves the game. The Coach asked her to guest play two weekends back in a EDP game with the top team but she sat on the bench most of the time and was on the field for maybe 5 minutes. She wasn't asked to practice with the top team during the week either so I am not sure whether it really gave her an opportunity to prove her mettle. The manager said they may ask her to play again this weekend but I am wondering if its even worth it - drive 3 hours to and from for a 5 minute play time?! Please help me make sense of this.

That is awful. When we have a guest player they get normal rotation minutes. It's cruel to take a kid and dangle the carrot of playing up and have them drive three hours exited to play only to watch a game. That coach better hope that the second team families aren't tight because that's how your manager gets into a situation where requests for guest players are ignored.

I think this is to be expected. It's worse when your child is guesting and plays more than some of the regular subs who are actually paying to be on the team and they all hate you.

I think it's kind of absurd to bench players in youth soccer with minimal playing time, especially when you get to select the players to fill your roster, can add mid-season, and can play with guest players. Even more so when you invite them to play as a guest because you're shorthanded. Its a waste of their time. If you can't trust someone on the field for more than 5 minutes you should just take your chances with no subs.

If the teams share field space during practice, and are part of a club that has multiple age groups or teams of the same age group - the coaches interact, talk to each other, and share information about players. They know the type of player they need or want as a guest player. For our player he's a goalie, so you are in for a half or you go in if there is an injury. So you could be a guest player, and never see playing time, but the team needs to have a second goalie. He never practiced with the other teams he was a guest for - it was all arranged between coaches. Some games he played, some he didn't. He seemed to know going in what to expect - I don't know if the coaches told him, or he just knew the players and the situation.

whenever my kiddo has guested for another team, they have been invited to practice with the team that week prior to the game. Didn't start, but saw a reasonable amount of minutes of playtime (depending on how many players were there). Even when the team had several subs,. my player saw at least 1/2 game time. One of the guests was for a league that had limits on substitutions. The coach was open that my player was invited but might not get game time (this was up front).

Anonymous wrote:At higher levels, guest players are just that, a guest to fill in if we have injuries or exhaustion. The coach no doubt thinks they are good enough to match the level of play needed, but since the player is not on his regular roster your player isn't going to get regular roster minutes. You can play this two ways, say "no thanks" and don't expect further invitations or potential for advanced play. Or have her go to the games she is invited to, get to know the players and coach, enjoy her 5 minutes, and show what she's capable of. My older player found watching higher-level play very useful for his own development. His expectation was never to be a starter or even a majority-time player. Eventually it worked out to his benefit by being willing to show he was a team player. What does your daughter want from her soccer experience, and start there.

How does a kid show what they are capable of in 5 minutes especially when they don't practice with the team? OP said this is EDP not ECNL or MLSNext or GA, so it isn't the highest level. When my kid played EDP, guests where treated well because they were just that, guests. They didn't start, but they alway saw real playing time and they were always given the option of participating in practice with either their own team or the team they were going to play with. The coach of the EDP team a year up had your view on guests and often had either no subs or younger siblings when they needed help because the B team parents refused to ever help after a couple of their kids traveled to Richmond for a weekend tournament and never saw the field.

At higher levels, guest players are just that, a guest to fill in if we have injuries or exhaustion. The coach no doubt thinks they are good enough to match the level of play needed, but since the player is not on his regular roster your player isn't going to get regular roster minutes. You can play this two ways, say "no thanks" and don't expect further invitations or potential for advanced play. Or have her go to the games she is invited to, get to know the players and coach, enjoy her 5 minutes, and show what she's capable of. My older player found watching higher-level play very useful for his own development. His expectation was never to be a starter or even a majority-time player. Eventually it worked out to his benefit by being willing to show he was a team player. What does your daughter want from her soccer experience, and start there.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is U14 and trying to move up a team in her club. She is committed, works hard, and loves the game. The Coach asked her to guest play two weekends back in a EDP game with the top team but she sat on the bench most of the time and was on the field for maybe 5 minutes. She wasn't asked to practice with the top team during the week either so I am not sure whether it really gave her an opportunity to prove her mettle. The manager said they may ask her to play again this weekend but I am wondering if its even worth it - drive 3 hours to and from for a 5 minute play time?! Please help me make sense of this.

That is awful. When we have a guest player they get normal rotation minutes. It's cruel to take a kid and dangle the carrot of playing up and have them drive three hours exited to play only to watch a game. That coach better hope that the second team families aren't tight because that's how your manager gets into a situation where requests for guest players are ignored.

I wouldn't do the drive for 5 minutes. If he was thinking about promoting her, he would invite her to practice and give her enough game minutes to see how she fit with the team. She's just a warm body on the bench. I would decline. If she's thinking she wants a higher level team next year, try out somewhere this guy doesn't coach.

FWIW, my kids have guest played with both higher and lower level teams, and either way, I assume they’re only there to sub on.

That said, they’ve also ended up playing more than five minutes.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is U14 and trying to move up a team in her club. She is committed, works hard, and loves the game. The Coach asked her to guest play two weekends back in a EDP game with the top team but she sat on the bench most of the time and was on the field for maybe 5 minutes. She wasn't asked to practice with the top team during the week either so I am not sure whether it really gave her an opportunity to prove her mettle. The manager said they may ask her to play again this weekend but I am wondering if its even worth it - drive 3 hours to and from for a 5 minute play time?! Please help me make sense of this.

Well since you know that she is only getting 5 minutes of playing time, she was most likely asked to join...just in case. In case other girls got injured and they needed to pull from the bench. Having the exposure to a higher level of play is great, not so much if it is a waste of a day and she does not have a positive experience. You could just have her available for local games so you don't waste time and incur additional expenses. If they ask her to practice regularly with the higher team, then you could consider her playing out of town games.

My DD is U14 and trying to move up a team in her club. She is committed, works hard, and loves the game. The Coach asked her to guest play two weekends back in a EDP game with the top team but she sat on the bench most of the time and was on the field for maybe 5 minutes. She wasn't asked to practice with the top team during the week either so I am not sure whether it really gave her an opportunity to prove her mettle. The manager said they may ask her to play again this weekend but I am wondering if its even worth it - drive 3 hours to and from for a 5 minute play time?! Please help me make sense of this.