Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite... What the heck are you talking about?

basically where you and your spouse take on other lovers, discreetly and don’t talk about it with each other much. But there’s an understanding that it’s “allowed”.

I want to be a part of this

Yes, same here.

Me too. Sign me up.

I

have a great marriage and a good sex life but I do wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone else. I’m human! But I can’t imagine it making my marriage any better so why risk it? There are plenty of ways to spice up our sex life so maybe that’s the solution. Maybe a silk night gown instead of old PJs would be a good starting point.

You are missing the most important question: Do you wonder what it would be like if your DH had sex with someone else?

When you have been married for a number of years, it is easy to see the fun in having NSA relationships. However, someone almost always catches feelings (even in NSA relationships) and wants out of the "marriage" to be with the person they really care about.

I have a great marriage and a good sex life but I do wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone else. I’m human! But I can’t imagine it making my marriage any better so why risk it? There are plenty of ways to spice up our sex life so maybe that’s the solution. Maybe a silk night gown instead of old PJs would be a good starting point.

I'm in a one way DADT. it's fine but not what I expected when I got married. Did a lot of therapy, both couples and individual. I find myself constantly redrawing agreed-upon boundaries, which is annoying.

I'm too much of a relationship person and don't really care to sleep around, but I see how it could work for some couples. It's nice to have your cake and eat it too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a DADT marriage? What led you to that point? Are you happy?

Just found out that my parents marriage was like this. I’m shelled shocked. I have a lot of curiosity about why couples choose this.

Some people like sex a lot.

I like sex a lot, with my spouse. No need to bring others into the fold.

My marriage is monogamous but I think a DADT marriage makes more sense than a true "open" marriage even though it seems less emotionally mature. Everyone I know who is in or has tried open marriage, it's just an endless series of annoying choices that you have to be "mature" about but actually suck. Everything from setting the rules of what people are allowed to do, to deciding how much to share with each other, to deciding who outside the marriage to tell about the openness, then dealing with kids... it's logistically just suuuuuuper annoying. I get why people do it but have seen enough of these from the outside (two that are still intact, the rest ended in divorce) to know it is very much not for me or my DH.

At least in a DADT marriage, it's pretty simple. Be discrete. Don't do anything that would compromise that discretion. Use protection. Never talk about it. I could even see it sort of helping to revive a marriage by adding some mystery and competition and just making the individual partners feel wanted and sexy again, which is the stuff it's hard to access after years of monogamy and kids. But without all the logistical annoyances of open marriage because the assumption is that any affairs must fit around the marriage without disturbing it. So there are no "arrangements." Figure out how to make your affairs happen on your lunch our or at "the gym" or during work travel, but no we are not sitting down as a couple to figure out how to arrange childcare so that you can do a couples weekend with your girlfriend, ffs.

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a DADT marriage? What led you to that point? Are you happy?

Just found out that my parents marriage was like this. I’m shelled shocked. I have a lot of curiosity about why couples choose this.

Why wouldn’t they choose it? Not everyone feels that monogamy is the most important thing in a relationship.

It allows people to stay together for the sake of their children, for financial or societal / social reasons. It allows for a happy marriage for which there is a sexual imbalance but there may be other positive qualities.

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a DADT marriage? What led you to that point? Are you happy?

Just found out that my parents marriage was like this. I’m shelled shocked. I have a lot of curiosity about why couples choose this.

Some people like sex a lot.

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Fancy way of saying "cheating is accepted because both do it."

Works for couples who are both able to get one-night stands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite... What the heck are you talking about?

basically where you and your spouse take on other lovers, discreetly and don’t talk about it with each other much. But there’s an understanding that it’s “allowed”.

I want to be a part of this

Yes, same here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite... What the heck are you talking about?

basically where you and your spouse take on other lovers, discreetly and don’t talk about it with each other much. But there’s an understanding that it’s “allowed”.

I want to be a part of this

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite... What the heck are you talking about?

basically where you and your spouse take on other lovers, discreetly and don’t talk about it with each other much. But there’s an understanding that it’s “allowed”.

Ok, I'll bite... What the heck are you talking about?

Are you in a DADT marriage? What led you to that point? Are you happy?

Just found out that my parents marriage was like this. I’m shelled shocked. I have a lot of curiosity about why couples choose this.