I'm not jealous despite having some significant issues (infertility). I am triggered when others get pregnant "oops" but I know everyone has something different going on. I make a lot of money and don't spend it so that has never been a point of jealousy for me either

Anonymous wrote:I was never jealous but I find now that I see my friends aging better and they’re more busy, I’m jealous. I gate feeling like this, I’m not bad looking, more average+ sude and I wouldn’t want to do everything that they do but I gate being seen as a dud. Middle age sucks.

No. I don’t compare myself to others. Who does this?

Yes. I had thought I put all that jealousy behind me in my 20s so I am particularly disappointed in finding myself here.

No, I’m blessed and I know it. While luck has played a role we have worked hard to create the life and family we have. I’d be crazy to be jealous of someone else.

I've become less jealous in part because no one gets to their 50s without dealing with some difficult stuff - a kid with SNs, a parent with Alzheimer's, a divorce, a layoff. Life gets us all at some point. And even if things are going well for someone, it can all change with a phone call. Not that I wish misfortune on anyone, it is just that when things are going well for someone (including and especially myself) I don't view it as permanent.

I'm jealous of some of my younger coworkers who have amazing creative outlets and young families. They are jealous of me because I have enough money to do whatever I want. Grass is always greener.

Anonymous wrote:I was never jealous but I find now that I see my friends aging better and they’re more busy, I’m jealous. I gate feeling like this, I’m not bad looking, more average+ sude and I wouldn’t want to do everything that they do but I gate being seen as a dud. Middle age sucks.

I'm confused. Sude? Dud.

Not exactly jealous but stunned by the 99% of people happily carrying on apparently not concerned about covid. Big groups, indoor dances, crowded sports venues. I live in 2021.

No, everyone has problems. I've become much less jealous with age. If people don't have problems now, problems will be assigned to them later on.

Focus on improving yourself will improve both your mental and physical state.

Sort of. I'm 47 tomorrow and not only still renting with no hope of ever being able to buy, but renting a total shit-hole. And I know maybe I'm saving more than they are and they're paying more in rent than me, but damn I would kill for a bathtub and a non-dusty apartment with a dishwasher.

I’m never jealous of anyone. Other people’s lives have no real bearing on mine. I celebrate my friends wins and mourn their losses. I never really think about how I compare to those around me. I’m just me, they’re just them.

I'm not, but I understand why. Financial gaps are widening and becoming harder to change. Kid problems are big kid problems. Marriages are failing or not failing. The world no longer feels full of possibilities.

In my friend group, I'm the younger, prettier one with a more relaxed life. And you know what? My marriage is a disaster. My husband is frequently aggressive with me and the kids, never pleasant and as a result, there is no physical intimacy.

You don't know what's happening behind closed doors, OP. Don't be so sure you have it worse...

I was never jealous but I find now that I see my friends aging better and they’re more busy, I’m jealous. I gate feeling like this, I’m not bad looking, more average+ sude and I wouldn’t want to do everything that they do but I gate being seen as a dud. Middle age sucks.