I have lived in the DMV for a decade and have lots of friends. The only person I talk to daily is my husband. Everyone is busy. I have 3 kids. I am not just sitting around available at any moment of the day to chitchat. I have/had a best friend who lives out of state. We used to talk and/or text almost daily for decades. She got divorced right before Covid and she has pulled back from me. I have 3 kids and she is single and childfree.

I have lots of local friends. I have many friends I hang out with relatively often. I don’t like to talk on the phone.

How do you nurture your female friendships? Check in regularly via text or occasionally a call. Make plans to meet up for dinner or a walk if local. Always remember birthdays with a message or other big life events.
How often do you talk on phone? Rarely except with 2 friends who love the phone. We can do brief chats thought like 10 minute check-ins while driving.
how often do you meet? Some local friends I meet for a walk weekly or biweekly. Other friends we meet for dinner monthly. Out of town friends varies to yearly or more.
Are you part of a group of friends that gets together often? Yes, with a few friends that met when our kids were babies, and with a few childhood friends. Have small subgroups of 2-3 people that might do dinner once every 6-8 weeks. College friends only annually.

My friends all end up moving. I have given up on making new ones. I was lucky to have local friends, but I really miss those times. It’s lonely.

Op here-
I suppose I am not the only one then..
I can relate to these..

How do you nurture your female friendships? I stay in touch. I just texted a friend this Monday who was going to find out if she needed chemo to say I was thinking of her and hoping for good news. I sent her a celebratory bottle of wine (she lives far from me - hours by plane) when she found out no chemo. My birthday is Sunday and I just got a birthday card from a friend today. Today is another friend's birthday and I called her and left a funny voicemail (she's on vacation).
How often do you talk on phone? Rarely. Depends on the person, but anywhere from never to much less than before texting
how often do you meet? I aim for once a month with all my major friends, but that's obviously not always possible. There's always something in the works though. I have plans through December.
Are you part of a group of friends that gets together often? No - I have a bunch of friends, but not one big friend group.

Anonymous wrote:Op- sigh … yes I would love to have had a bestie to share things with. Someone I can pick up the phone and just talk without playing phone tag if they are free to talk even if just for a few…this makes me lonely sometimes..

I had one (not local) until she ghosted me. Now I have no one that close outside of my husband and kids. I have tons of acquaintances but I miss friends.

I have one very close local friend. We text multiple times a week and speak maybe once a week. I live in DC, she lives in Nova. That said, I have seen her in person TWICE in 2023. We both work full time and have young kids. It’s insane but every time we try to get together, something happens and we have to reschedule.

I had one and then she got busy for me. So the friendship ended.

Anonymous wrote:Op- sigh … yes I would love to have had a bestie to share things with. Someone I can pick up the phone and just talk without playing phone tag if they are free to talk even if just for a few…this makes me lonely sometimes..

Agree. I'm sad about it too.

Op- sigh … yes I would love to have had a bestie to share things with. Someone I can pick up the phone and just talk without playing phone tag if they are free to talk even if just for a few…this makes me lonely sometimes..

I don’t have any friends locally - I moved here post-Covid and there’s an entrenched social scene that I have no interest “breaking into.” IMO friendship should be something that happens naturally, and easily.

To answer your question, I have four girlfriends I stay in close contact with: my bestie, who lives in Spain - we text throughout the week and talk on the phone once or twice a week. My other bestie, who lives about an hour away, and I text frequently and see each other every few months. I talk on the phone with another and text the other regularly. I had a weekend away with one in September, going on a long weekend vacation with another in January, and meeting up with my friend in Europe in February.

But yeah, it would be nice to have someone local to kick around with.

I think it’s not uncommon to have friends you don’t see/get in touch with every day. I don’t think my parents had those when I was growing up either. Like them, I have local friends (people who I would call if I need a ride or to borrow a cup of sugar or something), old friends (family/people I’ve known since childhood who I don’t see or even necessarily talk to often but would ask to stand guardian for my children if I died), and situational friends (who I know through some specific activity and will likely only contact about that specific thing. I guess the difference text brings is I keep in touch with the nonlocal friends (some old some situational) very granularly whenever I happen to think of something I’d like to share whereas my parents wrote letter/emails every few months to give them an infodump update.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a friend I am touch with each day.
A friend who it’d be weird if we didn’t touch base.
I wish I did.

This is exactly what I mean- I wish I did too.

I don’t have a friend I am touch with each day.
A friend who it’d be weird if we didn’t touch base.
I wish I did.

I was thinking how much texts have changed some of my friendships. I have friends but no local best friend, the ones you call up anytime for anything. And I assume this isn’t normal.
How do you nurture your female friendships? How often do you talk on phone? how often do you meet?
Are you part of a group of friends that gets together often?