Anonymous wrote:It's annoying that it's all about the pictures.

My kid and her friends got all dressed up. They hired a party bus to take them to the monuments then dinner then back to a friend's house where they changed into sweats and headed to a party.
no one even bought tickets to the actual dance!

That is insane. Why did you pay for the party bus just for them to take pictures and go to some teenage house party?

It's annoying that it's all about the pictures.

My kid and her friends got all dressed up. They hired a party bus to take them to the monuments then dinner then back to a friend's house where they changed into sweats and headed to a party.
no one even bought tickets to the actual dance!

Anonymous wrote:Oh is that all? No hotel room to get ready I, dinner and drinks, limo then after party?
My kids don't do that but know of others who do. It's ridiculous.

Forgot to mention the instance I'm thinking of above, they hired a photographer and bought special homecoming jewelry.

Oh is that all? No hotel room to get ready I, dinner and drinks, limo then after party?
My kids don't do that but know of others who do. It's ridiculous.

OP, I think at least part of this is an affluence issue. There are skimpy dresses* in every price range, but dinners, proximity to the monuments, party buses, hosted after parties, etc., all cost money.

*and I absolutely 100% do not care what other people are wearing. Do. Not. Care. They're not dressing for my approval. For my own daughter, my standards are:

1. Must be able to walk
2. Must be able to sit
3. Must not risk hyper/hypothermia

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You bring up a good point. I'm equating different components that don't have to go together for the tradition to go on. I wish my DC ran with a different crowd I suppose. I'm not naive enough to assume they don't do anything wrong, but they're also very open with me, enough so that I believe what they're saying. They don't appear to be hiding things from me, if that makes sense. The thing that I just don't understand is why parents host these parties, openly allow alcohol etc. If for no other reason, wouldn't they not want the liability in the event something bad happens?

That said, you mention picking them up from IHOP or Denny's. I'm guessing your DCs are on the younger side, right?

My DS is 16 and a junior. He went to a restaurant with friends after HoCo this year and that's what he did the year before as a sophomore.

If he goes to ANY friend's house, after HoCo or not, it is with people we know and we make it clear that some kind of adult needs to be in the house. We don't do unsupervised teenage house parties.

Anonymous wrote:What happen to just grabbing dinner at a local restaurant and heading to Hoco? Why does one have to drive all the way into Washington DC to take some photos in front of the monument. When did that become a "thing"? I must have totally missed the memo.

Instagram. That’s when it happened.

Anonymous wrote:What happen to just grabbing dinner at a local restaurant and heading to Hoco? Why does one have to drive all the way into Washington DC to take some photos in front of the monument. When did that become a "thing"? I must have totally missed the memo.

It's ridiculous. It's becoming grander and grander.

My senior went to Gtown to take pix for prom. OK, I get prom. It's a big deal. Last formal of HS, and end of year celebration.

HoCo? Ridiculous. And don't get me started on the "HoCo" or "Promposals". I feel the same way about gender reveal parties. People make too big of a deal about every little event.

What happen to just grabbing dinner at a local restaurant and heading to Hoco? Why does one have to drive all the way into Washington DC to take some photos in front of the monument. When did that become a "thing"? I must have totally missed the memo.

My kid had a low key experience. Did a little dressing up, went with a group, had a great time, and then came back home afterwards.

My very social kid wasn’t invited to any after parties and neither were any of the other kids I know. And there was no pre dance dinner. They did go to TGIFriday’s afterwards. Mine is a junior.

My older kids never went to afterparties or pre dance dinners either. One used to gather with friends at one person’s house to do makeup and hair. But that’s about it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You bring up a good point. I'm equating different components that don't have to go together for the tradition to go on. I wish my DC ran with a different crowd I suppose. I'm not naive enough to assume they don't do anything wrong, but they're also very open with me, enough so that I believe what they're saying. They don't appear to be hiding things from me, if that makes sense. The thing that I just don't understand is why parents host these parties, openly allow alcohol etc. If for no other reason, wouldn't they not want the liability in the event something bad happens?

That said, you mention picking them up from IHOP or Denny's. I'm guessing your DCs are on the younger side, right?

Look at what happened to the Wootton parents who served alcohol at their home and their son drove drunk, and killed two friends in the car. The parents got a slap on the wrist. A year later, some other parents in the same HS hosted a spring break in MX with their kids HS friends, where the legal drinking age is 18.

These parents are wealthy enough to hire good lawyers; some are lawyers themselves.

So, no, they don't care because they know that they can get themselves and their kids out of trouble. Wealthy parents can do that.. sweep bad sh1t under the rug. They also have the "that won't happen to my kid" mentality, until something bad happens.

OP here. You bring up a good point. I'm equating different components that don't have to go together for the tradition to go on. I wish my DC ran with a different crowd I suppose. I'm not naive enough to assume they don't do anything wrong, but they're also very open with me, enough so that I believe what they're saying. They don't appear to be hiding things from me, if that makes sense. The thing that I just don't understand is why parents host these parties, openly allow alcohol etc. If for no other reason, wouldn't they not want the liability in the event something bad happens?

That said, you mention picking them up from IHOP or Denny's. I'm guessing your DCs are on the younger side, right?

The dressing up, taking pictures and fun with friends is total feature of HoCo, not a bug.

The stuff you're talking about with drinking and afterparties are not allowed for me and my household. So that's not a factor for us. I think you're talking about two different things and need to separate them.

HoCo is great. And I think the dressing up, the rituals and all of that are fun and a good way to bond. Enabling high-risk adolescent behavior with drinking and unsupervised parties where alcohol, drunks and sexual violence can happen is not ok. And that's on you as a parent to allow or disallow.

Again, my kids aren't allowed to partake in those things. There are no "afterparties" that they are allowed to go to at anyone's house. The most they do is go to IHOP or Denny's. And even then, one of the parents is taking them and picking them up from the restaurant.

Is anyone else completely over and done with how complicated (and downright hazardous) Homecoming has become? My kid is at Whitman in MCPS, which had it this weekend, but I’m guessing the formula is pretty much the same in other nearby schools (some pretty awful dresses for the girls (and I’m no clothing prude), dinner, monuments for photos, afterparty). My DC is totally extroverted and loves being social but even they say it’s just too much. Yet, they also feel compelled to participate. And now I’m seeing all the photos of their friends on Instagram, many of which really should come down (obvious drinking). It’s all just so very…not good. I guess I'm part of the problem for supporting their participation, but I'm no where as supportive as other parents (organizing party buses, hosting an afterparty with alcohol, etc.) Perhaps I'm just a killjoy, but I was so relieved at 12.30 on Saturday night when DC was home and it was over for another year. Just a vent I guess, but I am curious if others feel the same way I do.