Anonymous
10/15/2023 19:00
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why it matters if everyone will have more than enough. Did your SO generate at least 25% of the wealth? Why not just let them do what they want? You’ll all be dead.
I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.
He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.
He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.
How much money do you have that you are giving money to siblings and friends instead of putting everything in the SNT?
With the life insurance we anticipate having 2-4M depending on when we die. But, as written in our respective wills, everything goes into the SNT if DD is alive after DH and I die. If DD dies before us (20% chance of this given DD’s diagnosis), then we make gifts to charities, friends, and siblings. If DD dies last and there’s money still left, the same gifts we made in our wills are made from her SNT.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 08:12
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you married? You are either legally married or not. What is a SO?
SO=significant other
A “significant other” would get as much say in my financial and estate planning as my daughter’s 17 year old boyfriend. My wife, on the other hand, has equal say in the disposition of everything we own.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 08:10
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why it matters if everyone will have more than enough. Did your SO generate at least 25% of the wealth? Why not just let them do what they want? You’ll all be dead.
I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.
He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.
He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.
How much money do you have that you are giving money to siblings and friends instead of putting everything in the SNT?
Anonymous
10/15/2023 07:50
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:Are you married? You are either legally married or not. What is a SO?
SO=significant other
Anonymous
10/15/2023 07:31
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Are you married? You are either legally married or not. What is a SO?
Anonymous
10/15/2023 07:11
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this is not the time to be vague with “SO” or “partner.”
If it’s your spouse, you have a say. If it’s not, you keep your mouth shut.
+1 This. You have no say if it's not your spouse.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 00:05
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
I don’t see why it matters if everyone will have more than enough. Did your SO generate at least 25% of the wealth? Why not just let them do what they want? You’ll all be dead.
I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.
He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.
He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.
I have a 100K donation to my college that DH did not agree with. He did not put it in his will even though it’s in my will and DD’s special needs trust. So if me and DD die before him and he never changes his will, my college doesn’t get a gift. If he dies before either me or DD, they will get the gift.
He just thinks donations to rich universities with already large endowments are stupid. And while I agree with him, I’m also deeply appreciative for the significant financial aid I received (100K in 2003 dollars) and the life changing experience I had there.
He did carry through my 100K gift to my best friend in his will. That surprised me because I thought he’d be more likely to object to that because she’s not family, and given how our wills and DD SNT are structured, her gift will reduce the gifts we make to our siblings). But we didn’t really disagree about all this. We just wanted the estate planning done already after dragging it out for 3 years.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 23:49
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Is this your significant other? And why does the charity annoy you?
I would feel like "OMG I'm so annoyed that millions of dollars are going to the guinea pig society for inbreeding research instead of something that could really make a difference, ugh!" And that's all.
But that's only if I find the charity merely annoying. If the charity is unethical or doesn't use the majority of the proceeds for the cause or if they're fraudulent or something, that's different. I would pressure him to read up on why it's a bad charity and provide evidence.
I would feel like "OMG I'm so annoyed that millions of dollars are going to the guinea pig society for inbreeding research instead of something that could really make a difference, ugh!" And that's all.
But that's only if I find the charity merely annoying. If the charity is unethical or doesn't use the majority of the proceeds for the cause or if they're fraudulent or something, that's different. I would pressure him to read up on why it's a bad charity and provide evidence.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 23:37
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:I would not leave any money to "charity." Kids only.
This
Anonymous
10/14/2023 23:04
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
As a bleeding heart liberal, I would be annoyed if my spouse wanted to donate any money to the NRA, or Catholic Charities and the like. And, we don't do that now, while living, so they wouldn't do that in death.
But if they wanted to give 25% to a charity we are actively involved in, and family members didn't need it (as OP described), I would be proud of their generosity
But if they wanted to give 25% to a charity we are actively involved in, and family members didn't need it (as OP described), I would be proud of their generosity
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:45
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Anonymous wrote:I would not leave any money to "charity." Kids only.
How kind of you!
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:44
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Yeah, this is not the time to be vague with “SO” or “partner.”
If it’s your spouse, you have a say. If it’s not, you keep your mouth shut.
If it’s your spouse, you have a say. If it’s not, you keep your mouth shut.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:40
Subject: Re:Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
Are we talking about your SO or your husband OP? There is a difference you know, including legally on questions like this.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:37
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
I would not leave any money to "charity." Kids only.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:33
Subject: Thoughts on SO leaving part of estate to something you think is ridiculous
How would you feel if SO wanted to leave millions of dollar to a charity you thought was ridiculous. Let’s say it was 25% of the whole marital estate. Surviving spouse wouldn’t need the money. There are kids and they would t need the money either. But it’s the specific charity that annoys you.