Anonymous
10/16/2023 11:16
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
I'm just going to chime in and say we had probably the best ref of the season this weekend. She was even keeled, calm, and made solid calls. She also was super great communicating with the players and keeping the ball moving.
I thanked her after the game for being so stellar.
I thanked her after the game for being so stellar.
SoccerRef
10/16/2023 10:58
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents
I'm a referee and I appreciate this thread. Thank you. However, and just as an FYI, although many parents/coaches/players are crazy, what makes me sick of reffing more than anything is the lack of professionalism of some of the other referees. We are supposed to be there 30 minutes prior...we check goals, flags, field conditions, check in players, etc. Some referees want to show up 10 minutes before kick off. Then they show up dressed like a slob. untucked shirts, socks down or wrong socks, won't buy a 2nd or 3rd colored jersey, etc etc., their lack of knowledge of the rules, their lack of fitness, lack of effort to follow the play, and things like this.
Someone brought up how would you like people at work to yell at you when you make a mistake at work...Great point, but how would you like to go to work/side hustle and have to work with one or two people of a team of 3) who don't give a S, they don't know what they are doing, they are unprepared, usually late, and you get lumped in with them because they are on your team. You wouldn't last long would you?
So to all the referees out there from a fellow referee...get your S together and I bet less parents/coaches/players would yell at us.
As a long-time ref, and former assesor, I completely understand how frustrating it is to work with an unprofessional ref, or to watch one officiating your kids. I have a son playing as well, and I often have to bite my tongue when a ref isn't doing their job.
With that said, the thought that a rise in referee prosessionalism would do anything to combat the rising abuse is laughable.
You could have FIFA officials working games, and they'd still have to deal with the exact stuff that we do.
Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop the parent from screaming about missed offside calls on throw ins.
Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop a coach from cursing my son in a foreign language.
And that's just from this weekend.
Look, I'm not going to dive too deep in the causes of abuse, and why it's on the rise....that's a whole other topic...but it's not going to go away until parents, coaches, and the leagues themselves decide it's going to go away.
SoccerRef
10/16/2023 10:43
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:I have never ever made a comment to a ref and really do appreciate they are there. However, I watched two games this weekend where the ref was not calling legit fouls and was very worried someone was going to get injured. I was grateful when are usually mild-mannered coach stopped play to talk to one of the refs.
It is really dangerous when it becoming a shoving free for all.
And that same ref probably called things tighter the previous week, and was screamed at by parents to "let them play!" for 90 minutes.
I'm not dismissing your concern...saftey is the most important thing...but it's obviously a tough balance, and we can't win either way.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 19:19
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
I have never ever made a comment to a ref and really do appreciate they are there. However, I watched two games this weekend where the ref was not calling legit fouls and was very worried someone was going to get injured. I was grateful when are usually mild-mannered coach stopped play to talk to one of the refs.
It is really dangerous when it becoming a shoving free for all.
It is really dangerous when it becoming a shoving free for all.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 06:37
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents
I'm a referee and I appreciate this thread. Thank you. However, and just as an FYI, although many parents/coaches/players are crazy, what makes me sick of reffing more than anything is the lack of professionalism of some of the other referees. We are supposed to be there 30 minutes prior...we check goals, flags, field conditions, check in players, etc. Some referees want to show up 10 minutes before kick off. Then they show up dressed like a slob. untucked shirts, socks down or wrong socks, won't buy a 2nd or 3rd colored jersey, etc etc., their lack of knowledge of the rules, their lack of fitness, lack of effort to follow the play, and things like this.
Someone brought up how would you like people at work to yell at you when you make a mistake at work...Great point, but how would you like to go to work/side hustle and have to work with one or two people of a team of 3) who don't give a S, they don't know what they are doing, they are unprepared, usually late, and you get lumped in with them because they are on your team. You wouldn't last long would you?
So to all the referees out there from a fellow referee...get your S together and I bet less parents/coaches/players would yell at us.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 22:12
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents
And coaches.
We saw the craziest display today at a game at the Soccerplex in Germantown. A coach threatening a parent on the other team and trying to physically go after him. The ref having to hold him back. This was a coach for what looked like 7 yr olds! I was appalled he wasn’t kicked out and allowed to coach the next game.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 20:53
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:I saw so much bad behavior by parents toward refs at a recent tournament. Including our own team parents. it’s just embarrassing. I can’t imagine where else people are ok with yelling at people who are trying to do their jobs and making mistakes. Could you imagine going off like this on a food service worker who gets an order wrong? Or a bus driver who makes a wrong turn? I lost respect for many parents who treat people this way. Do better.
Yes. But then I see posters on here who think it's OK for a coach to yell at students, or for students to trash talk other students before a game, as a psychops thing.
So I suppose these are the same parents who yell at refs. They're just savages.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 20:39
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents
And coaches.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 17:44
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
We have a referee shortage because of parents
Anonymous
10/14/2023 06:57
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
+1000
I always made my team think the coach after the game.DD still playing in high school, always goes over to the ref after the game to say thank you.
We won’t have games without refs.
I always made my team think the coach after the game.DD still playing in high school, always goes over to the ref after the game to say thank you.
We won’t have games without refs.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 06:51
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
+1. No one is 100% perfect at their respective jobs. Imagine being watched over by your co-workers/bosses and constantly getting questioned. Add in a split second decision requiring perfect vision/angle to see what actually happened is extremely difficult.
If parents expect perfect calls each and every time, pay for a VAR system.
If parents expect perfect calls each and every time, pay for a VAR system.
Anonymous
10/14/2023 05:53
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
I saw so much bad behavior by parents toward refs at a recent tournament. Including our own team parents. it’s just embarrassing. I can’t imagine where else people are ok with yelling at people who are trying to do their jobs and making mistakes. Could you imagine going off like this on a food service worker who gets an order wrong? Or a bus driver who makes a wrong turn? I lost respect for many parents who treat people this way. Do better.
Anonymous
10/13/2023 22:14
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
I will add you should be nice to the refs ALL THE TIME. None of them are out there to make big bucks, they are there for the love of the game.
Can anyone see 14/18/22 kids at a time? Hell no, but they are doing their very best. And, they are all human and are going to make mistakes. Parents screaming at them doesn't help at all
Can anyone see 14/18/22 kids at a time? Hell no, but they are doing their very best. And, they are all human and are going to make mistakes. Parents screaming at them doesn't help at all
Anonymous
10/13/2023 22:06
Subject: Re:Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Thanks for this reminder SoccerRef!
SoccerRef
10/13/2023 12:22
Subject: Be Nice to Refs This Weekend
Please be aware that this could be a challenging weekend for refs.
Apparently lots of games that were rained out a few weeks ago have been rescheduled for Saturday and Sunday on top of an already busy weekend.
I've had a few assigners tell me that there are more games this weekend than they have ever seen, and have had a really hard time filling slots.
So you're going to end up with a lot of refs that are either working games that they may not really be qualified for, or are working more games in a row than they should.
If you've never volunteered to be a club linesman, you may be needed.
Personally, I'm doing four game sets tomorrow and Sunday, when I normally prefer 2. And my son is doing games he probably shouldn't be doing until he's a year or two older.
I'm not a big fan of "center circle refs", but I may be one by my third or fourth game.
So be aware of the situation, and, perhaps, try to be a little kinder and more understanding than you may normally be.
Apparently lots of games that were rained out a few weeks ago have been rescheduled for Saturday and Sunday on top of an already busy weekend.
I've had a few assigners tell me that there are more games this weekend than they have ever seen, and have had a really hard time filling slots.
So you're going to end up with a lot of refs that are either working games that they may not really be qualified for, or are working more games in a row than they should.
If you've never volunteered to be a club linesman, you may be needed.
Personally, I'm doing four game sets tomorrow and Sunday, when I normally prefer 2. And my son is doing games he probably shouldn't be doing until he's a year or two older.
I'm not a big fan of "center circle refs", but I may be one by my third or fourth game.
So be aware of the situation, and, perhaps, try to be a little kinder and more understanding than you may normally be.