Anonymous wrote:A couple of points:

1. Kids are “better” and improve relative to their peers by (a) being better athletes to begin with; and (b) working harder to learn skills and techniques.

You say you do not see your daughter getting better compared to other kids. Is she working harder, practicing more, than those kids? If not - ask yourself; are you expecting those other kids to stop improving while your kid catches up and passes them?

It’s not unique to sports of course. Academics, arts, music, whatever. Practice more, learn more and you can get better, but your classmates and competitors will by trying to get better too.

In soccer, i guarantee that kids your daughter’s age, in your area, are already working 4-8 hours a week outside of practices and games.

4-8 hours if you include juggling and agility on their own (i.e. messing around in the yard) or playing with friends. At U10, a structured 8 hour a week training plan on top of practice and games seems like a recipe for burnout and over use injury

I would add - winning/losing is not a big deal for the obvious reason that it depends on who a team plays. As others have said, you want to mix it up a bit.

But - sadly - if your kid is potentially a high level youth player - it does mean moving to a good club. Those clubs will have the teammates and coaching to require continuous improvement or you are gone the next year. The cost sucks. But, you can’t compete at high levels unless you are regularly competing (practicing) at high levels. By 14/15 the gap is too great to catch up. Again, kids you are competing against are doing the same or more work. They are not waiting around for your kid to catch up.

A couple of points:

1. Kids are “better” and improve relative to their peers by (a) being better athletes to begin with; and (b) working harder to learn skills and techniques.

You say you do not see your daughter getting better compared to other kids. Is she working harder, practicing more, than those kids? If not - ask yourself; are you expecting those other kids to stop improving while your kid catches up and passes them?

It’s not unique to sports of course. Academics, arts, music, whatever. Practice more, learn more and you can get better, but your classmates and competitors will by trying to get better too.

In soccer, i guarantee that kids your daughter’s age, in your area, are already working 4-8 hours a week outside of practices and games.

I've been told by coaching staff at our club that teams should be winning about 1/2 the games, losing 1/2. It isn't good to be winning all and never losing. Kids don't develop resilience IMO. It also sucks to lose every game. Hard to stay motivated. NCSL usually does a pretty good job of moving teams up, down even at younger ages if you report scores. I found they moved my daughter's team to playing all the top teams even at U10.
I don't know if I would judge development based on tournaments. So often at a young age, kids are in the wrong bracket. Maybe you can't beat the top teams at a big club, but you can compete with lower teams. That is totally fine.
I would just make sure your kid is happy and loves soccer. I'd look to move at U11 to another team if she isn't developing. It's a good time to move since rosters expand.

Anonymous wrote:I just want to note that winning is a very poor gauge of how a child is developing. A team that boots the ball to make goals will often win over a team that plays possession. But when a team boots then all all the time, skills such as passing or dribbling or 1 v 1 are never learned or even if they are, kids don’t have an opportunity to practice those skills under pressure in games if the game plan is to boot the ball to the striker or when under pressure.

Agreed with the general thought, but do acknowledge that winning, or at minimum, being competitive in games, does have the potential of going towards the "fun" part of the experience, which we all note is very important to emphasize especially at early ages. Individual development is almost always going to be a function of something entirely separate from the end result of games. In fact, I'd argue that as long as your daughter gets to experience good competition that tests, challenges and forces her to play uncomfortably, then regardless of wins or losses, those are golden developmental moments. I've told my daughter, who primarily plays defense, that I love watching her play in 1 goal games, up or down -- protecting a one goal lead while the other team is throwing everything into attack, or having to chase a goal if they're down a goal. Regardless of outcome - if they give up the goal or fail to get the equalizer, so much can be taught and learned in those moments.

Yes. It's true. I support sports as a way to learn how to win but also to lose and a good team is more than win/lose.

BUT motivating a kid to play and practice 3x a week to lose almost every game for 2 years.. you know. Personally I would be like WTF too. It's not easy.

I just want to note that winning is a very poor gauge of how a child is developing. A team that boots the ball to make goals will often win over a team that plays possession. But when a team boots then all all the time, skills such as passing or dribbling or 1 v 1 are never learned or even if they are, kids don’t have an opportunity to practice those skills under pressure in games if the game plan is to boot the ball to the striker or when under pressure.

My kid got sick and tired of losing on her club for U10 and begged me to switch clubs. I did not and wanted to stick it out one more year at U11. I was wrong, we just kept on losing and switched for U12. Best decision ever.

I agree that number #1 priority is for your kid to be as happy as possible but if your team is always losing and your club only has 1 team per age group, it's a hard thing to stay because you have no idea whether your team is developing and typically, you should have more than 1 team so that the right fit for each player can be made.

U13 is when it becomes 11v11 and I really think that's when you want to start developing your game. Maybe talk to her about what she wants out of soccer. And consider what you want out of travel soccer. I didn't mind as much losing as my kid did because but OMG my kid was ready to quit. But as a parent the time and money commitment I think would have made me not feel that grade if I spent 3 years losing every game

Now at U13 on a new club that has quite a few teams in this age group, I realize it was the right decision to put her on a team that was the right level for her. We are now winning and she is so much happier. Her game has gotten better as well.

My daughter is the same age, I have also coached for 8 years and have my D license. (I have a similar problem.) For your daughter, 1st should be fun and acceptance. (I think you have that.) But unless you are willing to move her from your current club to a different one, her development probably will not improve as much as the clubs with better coaching staff and more players. (When the club has 3 or more teams, truly the better players move up and that helps make each other better; it fosters a more competitive environment.) A better coach will also implement a lot of individual ball mastery drills. They kids at that age must learn how to trap the ball on a dime and not give it away. If you want to move teams, e-mail the other Clubs and bring her out to a trial practice. Have her switch as soon as she is willing to switch. She may not understand switching to a better club at her age. If you want to stay with your current team, you got to look for some extra ball mastery classes or better technical training. Then, she will have some success switching clubs later at U13 or U14 if she wants to. --Good Luck!

Anonymous wrote:It's a small club so each age group only has one team..

What league is she playing in?

It's a small club so each age group only has one team..

U12. Is she on the clubs top team?

Thank you for the response. She loves the coach, her teammates and overall experience of being in a team. Currently she wants to play for a while, at what point should we focus on winning or being competitive in a tournament.

You need to really not focus on the win/loss scores and instead look at what she is learning. Are they learning to pass properly or is the coach encouraging them to boot it up the field to the biggest kid? At this age it’s about learning technique and positioning, though it’s easy to win games playing cheaply.

More importantly- is she having fun? Does she like her coach? Does she like playing soccer? The team should also be a good experience.

My daughter currently plays u10 soccer at a local club in moco. I will be honest I know nothing about soccer and cannot tell if coaches are doing their job or not. From an individual development we see her getting better but still behind girls in the same age group at other prominent clubs in moco.

My question is what is the typical expectation from clubs for u10-u12 development. Should we care about not being able to win a game in competitive tournament? We are trying to figure out if our current club is good enough or should we aim to switch her to other prominent clubs.