I was just talking to a friend of mine last night who has all boys. She hadn’t encountered this whole phenomenon until her boys started dating. She was surprised at how mean the girl was, and even more surprised that the mom seemed to condone and encourage it.

My daughter hasn’t dealt with mean girls yet. Some other girls seem to have dealt with them. I wonder if some kids are just targeted or excluded.

I also have 2 boys and they have also never dealt with bullies. I know other boys in their grades have been taunted. I don’t know how severe but a few have left for not fitting in.

I’ve been surprised there’s no mean girl dynamic in DC’s class. I think it may because we have a very diverse student body in a highly educated area, so this helps.

Anonymous wrote:One of the mean girls in my daughter’s class has a very nice mom. I don’t know how her daughter got to be so nasty. Her mom is either doesn’t notice or is “too nice” to know how to handle her own kid.

That's how she got to be a "mean" girl. Permissive parenting produces big egos.

One of the mean girls in my daughter’s class has a very nice mom. I don’t know how her daughter got to be so nasty. Her mom is either doesn’t notice or is “too nice” to know how to handle her own kid.

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

Are you aware of how classroom and mean girl dynamics work? You can't really ignore it. Instead you have to take the sting out of it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you can break the cycle, but you can remove yourself from it. Teach your kids to ignore and not engage, and make it clear that your family values kindness and inclusion, and you can’t control others. Hopefully your kids will find their niche and stay away from the drama.

This. Good advice, u was going to say something similar.

Just like women who can't get along with their MILs are going to have DILs who can't get along with them. It's cyclical.

Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

You raise your DD to be better. That's all we can do.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you can break the cycle, but you can remove yourself from it. Teach your kids to ignore and not engage, and make it clear that your family values kindness and inclusion, and you can’t control others. Hopefully your kids will find their niche and stay away from the drama.

^ Wise words

Anonymous wrote:You laugh at them and move on emotionally. Don’t let your kid associate with them outside of school. Encourage kid to walk away and find better humans to be friends with.

+1

I don’t think you can break the cycle, but you can remove yourself from it. Teach your kids to ignore and not engage, and make it clear that your family values kindness and inclusion, and you can’t control others. Hopefully your kids will find their niche and stay away from the drama.

You laugh at them and move on emotionally. Don’t let your kid associate with them outside of school. Encourage kid to walk away and find better humans to be friends with.

I’ve been finding that the not so nice girls in my daughter’s class have the not so nice moms who were likely the “mean girls”
I mean yes “obvious OP” but how do will we ever break the cycle!?