If OP, her kid, and their extended family weren’t all obsessed with colleges this wouldn’t be an issue. It’s sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has the same issue. I have encouraged him to keep everything quiet until he decides where to go. That is what we'll tell people too. Especially relatives.

Yeah, that's the problem - he knows which acceptance he'll take, and everyone else suspects, but the acceptance isn't the end. Attending isn't a guarantee if he's admitted.

Do you mean the alum of each school will assume your dc will attend if admitted but your dc actually prefers a school with no family alumni and doesn’t want to tell them until he gets admitted there? Regardless, the pp’s have given you good language to use. No one has a right to know until your dc decides to disclose.

No, they'll be happy whatever way it shakes out. It's just that acceptance doesn't necessarily = attendance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has the same issue. I have encouraged him to keep everything quiet until he decides where to go. That is what we'll tell people too. Especially relatives.

Yeah, that's the problem - he knows which acceptance he'll take, and everyone else suspects, but the acceptance isn't the end. Attending isn't a guarantee if he's admitted.

Do you mean the alum of each school will assume your dc will attend if admitted but your dc actually prefers a school with no family alumni and doesn’t want to tell them until he gets admitted there? Regardless, the pp’s have given you good language to use. No one has a right to know until your dc decides to disclose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has the same issue. I have encouraged him to keep everything quiet until he decides where to go. That is what we'll tell people too. Especially relatives.

Yeah, that's the problem - he knows which acceptance he'll take, and everyone else suspects, but the acceptance isn't the end. Attending isn't a guarantee if he's admitted.

+1

Ultimately, the kid will choose where they want to be. MIL had a hard time with that, but it is not her choice, nor her experience, nor her tuition bill, so she can sit her opinionated arse right down.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like perhaps a young person going through the process to be nominated and then appointed to a service academy. Many steps and points at which the process could end along the way.

I agree that you can just say that the college process is stressful and rather than constantly being on the rollercoaster, DS has said he wants to wait and share his college news once he's made a final acceptance decision. Family members who care may find that hard but hopefully you can support your DS and simply keep repeating on his behalf that it's his preference not to discuss it.

Thanks, this is really helpful. They're definitely just excited, but their excitement is making things worse on everyone.

Anonymous wrote:DS has the same issue. I have encouraged him to keep everything quiet until he decides where to go. That is what we'll tell people too. Especially relatives.

Yeah, that's the problem - he knows which acceptance he'll take, and everyone else suspects, but the acceptance isn't the end. Attending isn't a guarantee if he's admitted.

This sounds like perhaps a young person going through the process to be nominated and then appointed to a service academy. Many steps and points at which the process could end along the way.

I agree that you can just say that the college process is stressful and rather than constantly being on the rollercoaster, DS has said he wants to wait and share his college news once he's made a final acceptance decision. Family members who care may find that hard but hopefully you can support your DS and simply keep repeating on his behalf that it's his preference not to discuss it.

Anonymous wrote:Your relatives are weird AF. Nobody cares about college admissions. What kind of family dynamics are at play in your household? It all sounds so stressful and competitive.

They're alums of 3/5 schools in question. It's a competitive community, yes.

Your relatives are weird AF. Nobody cares about college admissions. What kind of family dynamics are at play in your household? It all sounds so stressful and competitive.

DS has the same issue. I have encouraged him to keep everything quiet until he decides where to go. That is what we'll tell people too. Especially relatives.

Just say you're respecting kid's strong preference not to talk about acceptances until (whenever is the right time for them). You don't owe a further explanation.

Simply say they’ve decided not to share until they’ve selected which school they will attend.

"This whole process is so stressful. We'll be glad when we have news to share."

“We’ll let you know when there’s something to share. Did you see the football game last night?”

Kid has an extremely valid reason for not announcing a specific acceptance right away. Unfortunately, close family and friends are already starting to ask how the application process is going. Some have been through this specific process before and are very familiar with the requirements, deadlines, etc. They will know when a particular school(s) announced. Is there a polite way to put them off? They just want to celebrate, but kid wants to make sure they're not celebrating too early.