^^ same! And believe me, I'm not a fan of it listening in on everything in our home. However, it's been very helpful to have with FIL who is in AL in a far away state

I bought and installed Amazon Echoes in all the rooms in my mom’s apartment and they are on my account so I can “drop in” and speak to her because she often has accidentally turned the volume off on her phone (she has no idea how to work her phone) and nobody can reach her. We live in different states. It’s the best technology.

Anonymous wrote:Reading the last two comments I am really wondering why these elderly people are still living alone without some help in the home. I know there are obstacles to this but I cannot imagine letting my elderly parent live without help with such diminished capacity.

I’m one of the comments and my mom is in assisted living. They help when they know she needs it. But they don’t just assume she needs something. At some point we may add additional help.

Anonymous wrote:I suggested to a few family members that they should call on the house line instead of his cell phone since it's "older" type of technology. But so far not many have made the switch.

Why don't you forward calls from his cell phone to the house phone? Seems easier than making everyone remember to use a different number.

Then, if he is not going to be home, ask whoever his guardian for the day is, to unforward the calls.

Reading the last two comments I am really wondering why these elderly people are still living alone without some help in the home. I know there are obstacles to this but I cannot imagine letting my elderly parent live without help with such diminished capacity.

I agree that dementia does a number on a persons ability to do pretty much anything with technology. My mom can still make calls (shockingly) but struggles with answering calls and can’t call anyone not in her favorites. I don’t have the answer aside from you calling your loved one when you think they’ll be by the phone. You can’t rely on them to call you. It’s so hard for the person, they can be quite embarrassed by their diminished mental state (and in my experience they are well aware of the decline).

We’ve lost texting, changing the thermostat, changing channels or volume on the TV (TV stays on one channel and my mom still knows how to turn that on and off). She can’t use the key fob to open her apartment door. She also doesn’t have many executive functioning skills left- if she’s hot or cold she doesn’t understand what steps she needs to take to remedy that, even something like taking off a layer or putting a layer on. This disease really is the worst.

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect an elderly person with progressive dementia to learn any kind of new communications technology. What seems “easy” to you is not to them. It has to be deeply ingrained in their psyche which means a ringing phone.

My parents are in their 80s and getting in touch with them is a constant issue. They struggle with the answering machine. The best ways to get in touch with them are (1) paper letter in the mail and (2) Calling on the phone but only at the times of day when they are close to it and likely to answer it. You have to know their schedule to know the right time to call because otherwise you will just leave a message that they will never hear.

iPads, iPhones, forget it! I don’t think it’s realistic to look for a technological solution to this. Their loved ones will have to adapt to them, not the other way around.

Your dad needs someone nearby who he can ask for help. It could be a neighbor who is physically nearby or at least someone he can call to ask for help, like you I guess. Then he needs to be urged to do so, make it easy for him to ask for help so he doesn't feel overwhelmed by his memory issues and technology.

I fill this role for several older friends (70s and 80s) and my adult son also does this for an older coworker, he has helped her navigate buying a new I phone, figuring out how to use it, and is available when she needs more help. He finds this very rewarding and she is very grateful for the help and continued support.

Technological aids will also be good for your dad but I think hands on help is more important as his dementia will likely continue to get worse. One of my older friends always takes notes when I help her with phone or TV issues so she can consult them when I'm not there.

This is common and you can't really expect the person with dementia to remember how to text or to call people when he says he will. You have to figure out what works for him. For us we had to give up expecting a text response. Also if you add people pictures to his iPhone contacts so the picture pops up when they call him that may help. The Echo is also great because you can "drop in" and see what is going on. Yes it does become one sided and less social which is hard but completely doable.

My dad hasn't been responding to text messages from family members. Partially it's because of his mild dementia - for instance he doesn't know how to send a text from his iPad anymore even though he's done it for years. And hardly different from his phone. But now he is not responding to texts on his phone or calling people when he says he will. I suggested to a few family members that they should call on the house line instead of his cell phone since it's "older" type of technology. But so far not many have made the switch.

I think I remember seeing people recommend devices to help elderly people communicate. It was like a tablet devoted to video calls or phone calls where you have peoples pictures as icons they can tap. Also I was thinking of getting them an Amazon echo to help with reminders, and we could get a Show to give it a visible interface. Has anyone had luck with that? Is it a simple interface or is it just one more device he won't use? If it's an Echo that is also hooked up to our account, I could even set reminders like "call your cousin" for him.

My dad has always been very social, so it pains me to see him withdrawing like this. I'm hoping if we can overcome the technology that he can still keep in touch with people.