Anonymous
10/04/2023 11:04
Subject: Re:Should my son report to assignor?
When putting in requests for future games, I would add a note to the assignor that he is a new AR and would really like to work with a seasoned CR if at all possible (especially in the beginning) so that he really gets the lay of the land of what “right” looks like, etc.
He will try that, thanks. I think part of the issue is that the assignor said he tries to give less experienced centers the ARs so that they can have help, but I think it is a reasonable ask and that the assignor may say yes.
Anonymous
10/02/2023 15:34
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
Anonymous wrote:My son is an AR for rec games, and was really upset about the older teen center he worked with yesterday. He said guy ignored all fouls (at the very end, when I came to pick my son up, I saw my son waving the flag wildly after one kid pushed another down from behind, and the ref waved him off). My son talked to the coach of the team that we being chippy at halftime about all the uncalled fouls and safety issues, and the response was "the main ref will tell me if it is a problem." My son also said that one team randomly had an extra player on the field for no reason (not mercy rules, they were up by several), and when he altered the center, he told my son to "stop being annoying."
My son does not want to talk to the assignor because he is afraid that he will wind up getting assigned to work with the older teen center again, and it will be awkward. However, I think he really needs to do so, at least to suggest that the center needs more mentoring.
Welcome to Rec Soccer. Your son must be new at refereeing (AR).
If he wants to work with a Coach and a Ref that follows soccer guidelines, I'd recommend he moves up and works at higher level games like SFL or NCSL.
Or CCL, National League, EDP or MLSNEXT if he wants ALL the rules followed!
Anonymous
10/02/2023 07:32
Subject: Re:Should my son report to assignor?
I agree with the posts not to bring up the details wit the assignor. If it was as bad as your kid says...the coaches would be reporting it and it would be getting back to the assignor and even the league. I mean if a coach is playing with an extra player illegally...that's not only poor reffing but back sportsmanship, etc. I would have you son to ask the assignor not to work with that CR again if your son is uncomfortable.
Anonymous
10/02/2023 07:32
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
Best solution…stop doing rec. Frankly, I didn’t know there were any rec programs that are still using 3 refs.
Even an inexperienced AR should have no problem finding games in better leagues.
But that’s not going to solve all his problems. He might find that the average CR is better, but he’s going to have to learn to deal with CRs that he doesn’t like or agree with. Happens a lot.
I know you want a safe game, but if it really gets out of control, the coaches are the ones that should be stepping up to inform the league about the ref.
The fact that the coaches in the OP’s post seemed fine with the CR makes it seem like that wasn’t the case.
Even an inexperienced AR should have no problem finding games in better leagues.
But that’s not going to solve all his problems. He might find that the average CR is better, but he’s going to have to learn to deal with CRs that he doesn’t like or agree with. Happens a lot.
I know you want a safe game, but if it really gets out of control, the coaches are the ones that should be stepping up to inform the league about the ref.
The fact that the coaches in the OP’s post seemed fine with the CR makes it seem like that wasn’t the case.
Anonymous
10/01/2023 20:10
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
Anonymous wrote:My son is an AR for rec games, and was really upset about the older teen center he worked with yesterday. He said guy ignored all fouls (at the very end, when I came to pick my son up, I saw my son waving the flag wildly after one kid pushed another down from behind, and the ref waved him off). My son talked to the coach of the team that we being chippy at halftime about all the uncalled fouls and safety issues, and the response was "the main ref will tell me if it is a problem." My son also said that one team randomly had an extra player on the field for no reason (not mercy rules, they were up by several), and when he altered the center, he told my son to "stop being annoying."
My son does not want to talk to the assignor because he is afraid that he will wind up getting assigned to work with the older teen center again, and it will be awkward. However, I think he really needs to do so, at least to suggest that the center needs more mentoring.
When putting in requests for future games, I would add a note to the assignor that he is a new AR and would really like to work with a seasoned CR if at all possible (especially in the beginning) so that he really gets the lay of the land of what “right” looks like, etc. The assignor knows who are the most reputable refs. Unfortunately there is a shortage so it isn’t perfect. Also, they typically don’t call rec games very tight. However a good CR doesn’t allow for dangerous play.
Anonymous
10/01/2023 17:06
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
We always say that it’s an ARs job to ‘assist’, not ‘insist’, and it’s possible your son was doing too much of the latter.
Talking to the coach was totally inappropriate…that is totally the CR’s job, and he might simply think that your son was calling things too tightly.
Obviously, the ‘stop being annoying’ comment is totally uncalled for, and if he doesn’t want to work with the CR again, he can certainly request it.
But keep in mind that the assignor might ask the CR about the issues, and he could totally trash your son, and you have to consider the possibility that he’s in the wrong.
Personally, I’d let it go, and if he has an issue again with the same person, then I’d talk to the assignor.
Talking to the coach was totally inappropriate…that is totally the CR’s job, and he might simply think that your son was calling things too tightly.
Obviously, the ‘stop being annoying’ comment is totally uncalled for, and if he doesn’t want to work with the CR again, he can certainly request it.
But keep in mind that the assignor might ask the CR about the issues, and he could totally trash your son, and you have to consider the possibility that he’s in the wrong.
Personally, I’d let it go, and if he has an issue again with the same person, then I’d talk to the assignor.
Anonymous
10/01/2023 15:32
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
That's awful OP. Thanks to your son for trying to keep the game fair and safe. As a parent of a player I appreciate kids who are willing to ref!
Anonymous
10/01/2023 12:30
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
Yes say something and say you do not want to work with him again. It is a safety issue.
Anonymous
10/01/2023 09:03
Subject: Re:Should my son report to assignor?
Just ask to not work games with that person again.
Welcome to the working world.
Welcome to the working world.
Anonymous
10/01/2023 08:55
Subject: Should my son report to assignor?
My son is an AR for rec games, and was really upset about the older teen center he worked with yesterday. He said guy ignored all fouls (at the very end, when I came to pick my son up, I saw my son waving the flag wildly after one kid pushed another down from behind, and the ref waved him off). My son talked to the coach of the team that we being chippy at halftime about all the uncalled fouls and safety issues, and the response was "the main ref will tell me if it is a problem." My son also said that one team randomly had an extra player on the field for no reason (not mercy rules, they were up by several), and when he altered the center, he told my son to "stop being annoying."
My son does not want to talk to the assignor because he is afraid that he will wind up getting assigned to work with the older teen center again, and it will be awkward. However, I think he really needs to do so, at least to suggest that the center needs more mentoring.
My son does not want to talk to the assignor because he is afraid that he will wind up getting assigned to work with the older teen center again, and it will be awkward. However, I think he really needs to do so, at least to suggest that the center needs more mentoring.