Anonymous wrote:I love where I live - I'm close to DC, a few blocks from metro, in a charming but semi-urban neighborhood. I have lots of friends that I play tennis with 3 times per week. While I dream of moving out west somewhere more scenic and in the mountains, I think I would miss my walkable little neighborhood. I'm still undecided but have a few years. I also would consider moving where the kids end up.

Similar location for me too. Sometimes I daydream about retiring to the Central Coast of CA where I went to college and have some friends. But DH really doesn't want to and CA is expensive. Maybe we'll just spend a month there in the summers.

Most likely we'll downsize to a townhome or condo in our current community where we have strong connections. If the kids settle someplace else I'd want to move near one of them eventually. Understanding that they might move and that could mean our moving again too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

But wouldn't selling a larger house in a more desirable neighborhood be likely to net you more (not less) than enough money to buy a smaller house in a less desirable one?

Yes, but who has a goal of living in a less desirable neighborhood? Generally, your friends are in a certain area. To can't just move one or even two neighborhoods away in order to get the math to work. And the answer is in regards to the original question of preferences.

Another issue can be property taxes. People who have lived in their house for a long time don't generally have taxes that rise as quickly as a house that turns over or is new and gets adjustments regularly. Some states cap certain aspects of property taxes for people once they hit 65. I think the most aggressive tax suppression for home owners is in CA.

Near kids or near an airport that makes it easy to visit them and for them to visit us. Being near kids is more important to me than being near friends. Most of our closes friends are long distance relationships anyway at this point because people move for work, family, etc. already.

Prefer midsize city -- we do not want to retire in a city with rising costs as even when you own your home, this can lead to decline in lifestyle once you are living off retirement funds. I never want to feel like we need to budget super carefully to afford to go out to dinner, have housecleaners (very important to me when I'm older, I don't want to be scrubbing toilets at 70). We want to live somewhere that our money goes far.

City over rural or small town because it will force you to walk and exercise more assuming some density and okay public transportation and ensures you will interact with people different ages and backgrounds. So I think it keeps your body and brain younger. Cities also tend to have better healthcare and access to better eldercare.

We have no particular attachment to the DMV. We might retire here (not in DC, maybe in or near Baltimore or Richmond, or in a dense close-in suburb like Silver Spring or Clarendon if we could find housing we were happy with) but also have a short-list of other places we'd retire depending on where DC settles, and are open to other options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

But wouldn't selling a larger house in a more desirable neighborhood be likely to net you more (not less) than enough money to buy a smaller house in a less desirable one?

Yes, but who has a goal of living in a less desirable neighborhood? Generally, your friends are in a certain area. To can't just move one or even two neighborhoods away in order to get the math to work. And the answer is in regards to the original question of preferences.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

But wouldn't selling a larger house in a more desirable neighborhood be likely to net you more (not less) than enough money to buy a smaller house in a less desirable one?

Anonymous wrote:A. Your large suburb where you've your friends

B. Scenic peaceful village

3. Lively city

4. Near children

5. Near siblings

We picked a place that is further north to get out of the heat here. It is closer to my sister and we already have a few friends there. Oldest child is currently here but would like to relocate to midwest to be near college friends or would relocate to nearish to where we picked also due to weather. Youngest would prefer the general area we picked but is currently negotiating a setback and is becoming a delayed launch. We have delayed our plan and it looks a bit in jeopardy depending on how youngest does. I am in the sadness stage and hoping I am not in denial.

Anonymous wrote:We plan on moving abroad while the kids are still settling down (hopefully to fun locations they will want to visit, and we will travel to visit them). then move close to them when they settle down and start families. Not too close — I have boys and don’t want to be THAT MIL. But close enough I can fix Sunday dinner once a month maybe, and see them as often as they wish.

You sound like you’ll be a great MIL.

We plan on moving abroad while the kids are still settling down (hopefully to fun locations they will want to visit, and we will travel to visit them). then move close to them when they settle down and start families. Not too close — I have boys and don’t want to be THAT MIL. But close enough I can fix Sunday dinner once a month maybe, and see them as often as they wish.

I love where I live - I'm close to DC, a few blocks from metro, in a charming but semi-urban neighborhood. I have lots of friends that I play tennis with 3 times per week. While I dream of moving out west somewhere more scenic and in the mountains, I think I would miss my walkable little neighborhood. I'm still undecided but have a few years. I also would consider moving where the kids end up.

I’ll either stay where I am or, if the kids move far away, I’ll probably move to Europe - might as well. Life is much cheaper, healthcare is good and included in taxes, and I have more friends there.

To the second poster with a SN son or daughter, if one has a disability that will qualify for a Medicaid Waiver funding stream for adult support services, then understand it is nit portable from one state to another. If one has one and is using it, do you want to give up the services? If one does not have one, then consider this in where you will retire. e sure to do the research on needed services and how long the waiting list(s) are.

Also, important if you have other adult children is considering who woukd be most able willing and able to support your disabled adult child when you no longer can and how? Not necessarily in one’s own home, but in checking regularly as needed. This means having direct talks about what uf??

It also means doing the financial o,an in and long term care plan in fir yourselves so that you could plan for and fund your care needs yourself and it depend on your children. You realize one or both of you could not have the option of a CCRC until you disabled adult child was set or was 62 to be able to go with you due to federal rules. This makes it a hard scenario to even try to map out.

We are staying where we are for ow as all three are in excellent health and the adult with SNs has a full lifestyle. Also excellent health services for all here. Still likely to move in time closer to another sibling, and we woukd need to start over on. Waiver waiting list fir her. I woukd be interested in your thinking.

I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

I have 3-5 and 1 (lots of friends in our close-in neighborhood). Sibling about 30 min drive away; parents 20 min away.

All of the above???

Haha.

I struggle with this too! Well, not no. 5 -- I have no siblings. But I def go back and forth between city vs. beautiful little town vs. staying put b/c so many friends here.

And of course the wild card of where my kids will end up. I have another line item to throw in the mix -- a SN kid who may never live on her own.

A. Your large suburb where you've your friends

B. Scenic peaceful village

3. Lively city

4. Near children

5. Near siblings