Anonymous
09/27/2023 12:03
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are very close friends with another couple. Recently the other husband said to me that he wishes that he had met me before meeting his wife and that we would have been great together. He may have been a bit over served that night but his goodnight hug was more than just a normal hug. A few days later I told my husband and he laughed it off saying that the guy had great taste and had had too much wine. People can say stupid things when over served but this still feels a bit creepy. My husband said just let it lie and that if it happens again he will deal with it. His wife and I are great friends and I have no plans to say anything to her but I do feel sorry for her. If he does really feel that way about me I’m not sure I want to stay friends.
You should ignore but avoid being alone together in future and be very blunt to set him straight if another incident happens. You are not supposed to accept sexual advances because someone is drunk. That's why one shouldn't drink, it ruins families and careers and friendships.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:21
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I've been hit on by men randomly throughout the years, men that I have to continue interacting with, such as coworkers and family friends. It happens once with each person and I brush it off and it doesn't happen again. With the eager huggers I never allow them to hug me again.
Point being, it's somewhat common and not worth ending the friendship over unless he tries again.
This...you just have to be very firm with your boundaries the first time it happens.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:15
Subject: Re:Close friend made a pass?
You made the right decision telling your husband and his response is a very good one. Some husbands would have over reacted adding fuel to the fire.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:08
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
I agree with your dh.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:05
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Anonymous wrote:The first time, be generous and forget about it.
If it happens again I would take some action, probably starting with just telling him he’s making you uncomfortable and asking him to stay off the topic.
+1 to the above approach. OP, your DH knows and you were right to tell him as soon as it happened, and he's taking the same approach as above.
Also, does this man tend to get "overserved" a lot? I think overserved might really mean, he over-ordered. I'd keep an eye out if you and this couple are in situations where there's alcohol.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:00
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Woman here. I've been hit on by men randomly throughout the years, men that I have to continue interacting with, such as coworkers and family friends. It happens once with each person and I brush it off and it doesn't happen again. With the eager huggers I never allow them to hug me again.
Point being, it's somewhat common and not worth ending the friendship over unless he tries again.
Point being, it's somewhat common and not worth ending the friendship over unless he tries again.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 11:00
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Anonymous wrote:I agree with your DH. I also would avoid the other guy, avoid being alone with the other guy, and definitely stay far away from him when he's drinking.
Agree, also if he says something again I'd tell the wife too so you aren't in any way complicit with his stupidity.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:58
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
I agree with your DH. I also would avoid the other guy, avoid being alone with the other guy, and definitely stay far away from him when he's drinking.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:50
Subject: Re:Close friend made a pass?
Listen to your DH as he has the right perspective. It’s sad that the guy feels this way but if he was with you 24/7 he might not feel the same way! He sees you socially at your best.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:47
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Your DH is correct. Let it go. If it happens again tell dh. Guys can say things to other guys that while sounding harsh will not impact any relationship you have with the couple. If you do it the relationship will be blown.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:39
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
Anonymous wrote:The first time, be generous and forget about it.
If it happens again I would take some action, probably starting with just telling him he’s making you uncomfortable and asking him to stay off the topic.
Agree with this. There’s a chance he’s now super embarrassed and nothing will ever come of it. If that’s not the case you can lay down the law.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:38
Subject: Re:Close friend made a pass?
objectively, who is hotter between his wife and you?
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:36
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
The first time, be generous and forget about it.
If it happens again I would take some action, probably starting with just telling him he’s making you uncomfortable and asking him to stay off the topic.
If it happens again I would take some action, probably starting with just telling him he’s making you uncomfortable and asking him to stay off the topic.
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:35
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
who cares
Anonymous
09/27/2023 10:34
Subject: Close friend made a pass?
My husband and I are very close friends with another couple. Recently the other husband said to me that he wishes that he had met me before meeting his wife and that we would have been great together. He may have been a bit over served that night but his goodnight hug was more than just a normal hug. A few days later I told my husband and he laughed it off saying that the guy had great taste and had had too much wine. People can say stupid things when over served but this still feels a bit creepy. My husband said just let it lie and that if it happens again he will deal with it. His wife and I are great friends and I have no plans to say anything to her but I do feel sorry for her. If he does really feel that way about me I’m not sure I want to stay friends.