Anonymous wrote:I am the immediate pp before your last post. I understand why your kid is hurt, but that is the least of it. I have worked in college admissions and there is a strong preference for letters whose students have waived the right to see them. The understanding is that they are more honest and reliable. Assuming that your child intends to be truthful, your child can not waive the right. For some admissions people, that discredits the letter.

OP here and I wasn't even aware of that and now I'm even more annoyed. Yes, I think the child would be truthful in that situation. So now even the letter she has been told to write herself will be discredited because they'll know she's seen it?

I get teachers are overburdened but there are likely no more than 1 or 2 other students at the school who have taken as many classes or done as much EC work with this particular teacher. Are teachers so overburden that writing a letter of recommendation for their 2nd or 3rd best and most committed student is too much to ask? This student is just trying to get into college.

My understanding is that a student waives the right to see the letter. They don't promise never to read the letter if someone shows it to them.

Wonderful opportunity to tailor the letter to say exactly what the student wants it to say. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth and look at this as a huge bonus. There are many sample letters of recommendation online that can help your child craft an amazing rec letter.

I am the immediate pp before your last post. I understand why your kid is hurt, but that is the least of it. I have worked in college admissions and there is a strong preference for letters whose students have waived the right to see them. The understanding is that they are more honest and reliable. Assuming that your child intends to be truthful, your child can not waive the right. For some admissions people, that discredits the letter.

I think teachers are terribly overburdened and underpaid and leaving the profession in droves. My son has no teachers in two subjects It doesn't matter what I think of it - if that is what the teacher says is necessary to get the recommendation, write it and move on.

OP here. In this case, my problem with it is not the quality of the letter. Sure, the student could get some help to write the letter and wind up with a great recommendation signed by a teacher. I am not this student's parent but I'd be happy to help them with it.

Rather, I think it is hurtful. This is a student who has really put a lot of effort specifically into classes and activities with this teacher and has, to quote a PP, cultivated what sounds like a positive relationship. For instance, the student is spearheading a project this year that the teacher is advising on and they have already spent a lot of time working on it.

Basically, I think the student is hurt that the teacher can't take the time to write a recommendation for her, given the teacher's extensive familiarity with this student's academic ability, work ethic, and extra-curricular interests. I think it has been an ego blow at a time when I think this student could use encouragement. I have been trying to think of how many the teacher is using this as a teachable moment, like trying to get this student to talk herself up as a confidence-building exercise. But it has had the opposite effect, and now the student feels that not even the teacher she has worked closest to and who teaches her favorite subject believes in her.

I think it is terrible. Shameful. In the business world, it's common and everyone knows that and takes them with a grain of salt. For college apps, it's an absolute violation of trust. Most kids waive their right to see the recommendation and colleges trust them.

I agree it’s a good thing. Write it well and it will be a great component of your app

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a gift.

I'd give your brag sheet + some anecdotes to a trusted friend who writes well and have them write it, so it's not in your DC's voice. Then, you can make edits if needed.

Why not ask your trusted friend to help you move for free while you are at it.

I think this is a gift.

I'd give your brag sheet + some anecdotes to a trusted friend who writes well and have them write it, so it's not in your DC's voice. Then, you can make edits if needed.

A good tip we got before starting HS was -
- maintain a bragsheet from beginning of HS.
- always have your recommendations written out, so you can hand it in if the teacher asks for it.
- check out the teacher recommendation questions on common app and tailor your answers according to that.
- have at least two meetings with the counselor each year.
- be memorable and cultivate a good relationship with several teachers who can recommend you.

Just make sure your kid's letter doesn't read "yo bro this kid is f**ing awesome"

Lazy in the case of teacher, beneficial in terms of bosses.

this is common even with bosses and company ceos

It seems rude to me. I can understand a teacher feeling overwhelmed with requests for recommendations, and some get asked for a lot more than others. But this still seems very inconsiderate.

Also, if it's relevant to your opinion: the student in question is extremely involved has received straight As in the teachers classes (has taken multiple with the teacher) and is very involved in an extra-curricular activity the teacher runs (has participated all four years and served in a leadership position with the group starting in junior year.

So it is not a question of the teacher having too little interaction with the student or not having good things to say about them -- even if there is a personality mismatch, the teacher could simply explain why the student has done well in class and point to their participation/leadership in the activity and it would be a positive recommendation pretty much by default.