Similar situation with our middle schooler, eventually full on panic attacks / meltdowns just pulling up to the school building. Our therapist and school counselor wanted us to keep trying, but I would not have been strong enough to drag him inside even if I wanted to. (And they thought we should also tell him that once he's there, he can't go home - as if that is going to make him more likely to go in the first place?!) It was triggering pretty severe depression.

We started Fusion this fall and it's working well so far - he's gone every day, doing well in his classes, keeping up with his work (admittedly his workload is very light so far, somewhat intentionally). He will actually tell people he LOVES school (ad I get a little choked up every time he does because of how bad it got last year).

There are social opportunities but my kid hasn't taken advantage of them yet; he's still warming up to the place. Yes, it's crazy expensive, but we are hopeful that after a full year at Fusion, we can get him back into a more traditional but much smaller type of school and are looking at some private schools for this. I doubt we'll ever get him back into public school, the environment is just so unconducive to learning for him.

I know a lot of people are emphatic that you have to make them keep going, but if any of my friends talked about their job like this, legitimately in tears all the time because of how much they hated it, everyone would *encourage* them to leave ASAP and find a better fit, even quitting before they have a new job if they have the support system for it. So why would we force our kids into this? People are unique, a one-size-fits-all public education is not going to work for everyone, and there's no shame in that.

Can she switch to a half day schedule for the first semester? And make up any missed classes over the summer or at Fusion? Since she has good friends and supports at the school, maybe just a little bit less of school would make it bearable instead of switching. Maybe consider an intensive outpatient program after school? If none of that works then virtual school or Fusion for the rest of the year.

And my sympathies, our family dealt with this last year and it was an absolute nightmare. I didnt even know school refusal existed, let alone that its become such a growing problem.

OP here - she is able to make contact with us via text because they are allowed to have their phones. It drives me absolutely crazy that they can have their phones.

My kid had school refusal and is thriving at Fusion.

If your kid can maintain her friendships and play for a club team, she could be fine in the Fusion atmosphere.

Fusion helped my kid rebuild confidence, enjoy school and find love of learning again. The teachers there have been great, and I believe kid is getting a great education. Kid describes that the breadth of content and memorization is less at Fusion, but feels deeper understanding of material because of so much individual discussion.

As a PP said, you could plan Fusion for the rest of this school year, then return to other school next fall.

Good luck. School refusal is a nightmare. People who haven't been there don't get how hard it is to navigate.

Why is she able to make contact with you all day? It’s not appropriate.

I would not move her away from good friends.

If the current situation isn't working, then I'd work with her mental health team to figure out appropriate accommodations, including part days if necessary, but I would do that proactively, not in response to phone calls asking to come home.

If the current school wasn't a good environment for her I might consider it, but given you say the staff is great at her current school, she has friends, and she is involved in sports, changing schools would be a definite no for me. I agree with previous poster that it sounds like she has great supports in place, but perhaps you also need them to help you take a firmer line on not accommodating anxiety. When she send you those texts, remind yourself that she's in a safe place with friends and supportive staff. You're likely best off not responding at all, but if you do, keep it brief and simple, "You are in a safe place. I will see you at 3:30."

I also want to say I’m sorry. There is not one right choice for anyone. My kid sounded similar in 9th and it got much worse with refusing to go to school and depression. We looked into Fusion but it was too expensive.

We ended up enrolling him in virtual school for 10th and continuing therapy. It wouldn’t work for everyone but it was the right move for our kid’s mental health. He’s currently looking into taking dual enrollment classes at NVCC and doesn’t want to go back to traditional HS.

I just want to say I’m sorry, OP. I have a kid with anxiety and depression triggered by school and it’s really tough. I hope you all can come up with a plan that feels right. I’d try as much as possible to keep her where she is if it’s otherwise a good environment for her, but I can see his it would get to a point where change is needed.

I feel like this point in the academic year is difficult. School is in full swing and no big breaks on the horizon. Sometimes getting through each week feels insurmountable.

Fusion was a good option for us. If your dd plays sports, that should be an incentive to keep her at the private school. Fusion is isolating socially. They do have social activities that bring the campus kids together, but it probably isn’t enough. Our private pushed for it because they didn’t want my dd to fail and negatively impact their stats. I would make sure you aren’t being pushed into something that doesn’t ultimately help. My dd needed part time school and I didn’t know how to research options. Perhaps the public school system has a home school option for her. But that requires enrolling her into the public school, which takes time. Fusion will get her through with good grades, because there is so much individual attention. But she may miss the traditional HS experience.

Absolutely do not remove her. Are you in therapy with an anxiety specialist? You should be getting support on how to ensure you are not reinforcing anxiety by over-accomodating. You shouldn’t even be taking her calls/texts during the day.

Take a semester break at Fusion and get her in better shape, then go back to Publix when she’s ready. The sports will motivate her to return. But Fusion is super expensive per
Semester of uneven quality. But it’s a very peaceful and friendly atmosphere.

DD is suffering from severe depression and anxiety, and has ADHD, and school is a major trigger for her and is making her miserable. She is in 9th grade. She goes to school in the mornings (although puts up a fight some days) but then asks to come home incessantly throughout the day and it is super stressful for all of us. Husband and I both work full time, and have to. Her therapist and psychiatrist, and school counselor at her private, all want to keep her in school using her tools and campus resources (breaks,etc.), given that the research shows school refusal and staying home is a slippery slope. So we push her to go and to stay at school, but we know it is so hard for her to get through the day and she is miserable. Her school has been wonderful but we are at the point of wondering if a new school environment is in order. DD thinks she will feel this anywhere but I’m not so sure. In the meantime she continues to do therapy with a wonderful therapist and we are still seeking a medication combination that will work. Wondering if any of you have been in a similar situation and switched to Fusion and how that has gone. I’m worried about the social aspect - DD plays sports at her current school and has some really good friends.