Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I don't understand you when you use that voice."
Ha ha. This.
This worked for us. I'd say it playfully, like "What? Oh man, I feel like I can almost understand what you saying, but it's just not coming through. Something about wanting to play with Larla? Try it again in your big kid voice."
This enrages my child, so then anxiety plus fury. Not awesome.
Same. And same result with ignoring.
A more straightforward version (without pretending you don't understand) is to tell him that it's hard to listen to someone whining like that, and that while you are sorry he is upset, it would be easier to listen and problem solve if he could do it without whining.
My DD would tell me she couldn't help it ("I caaaaan't heeeeeeelp iiiiiiiit!!") but I'd still notice a less whiny voice right away. And with time and coaching, she learned to do it less. We gave her scripts for certain triggers that she used to always whine over (the big one was "Iiiiii'm huuuuuungryyyyy" which has become "can I have a snack?" or "is dinner soon?"). We also suggested proactive things she could do when she was feeling whiny to meet her own needs. We have pretty strict screentime rules, but she can listen to podcasts whenever she wants, so we taught her how to bring those up on her own and now we hear less about how bored she is. Also encouraged her to get her own snacks from a designated "anytime" snack shelf (dried fruit and nuts).
It was a process but our extremely whiny 4 yr old is now a not-very-whiny 6 yr old (still has her moments but they are infrequent).