Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your kid excluded? There is usually a reason. Is it behavior? Is it personality?

This is a really misguided way of thinking. Oftentimes there is no clear or a good reason for a kid being excluded. Groups of kids bond by leaving others out, which strengthens their own sense of being together. The kids on the outside could simply be less aggressive socially, or less outgoing or less athletic, new to the school, whatever. They might look different or act differently. But there is often simply no good or obvious reason for it, apart from human nature being pretty crappy. Your question suggests that there's something wrong with the kid being excluded

^ and adults unfortunately continue to do this just subtly

Anonymous wrote:Why is your kid excluded? There is usually a reason. Is it behavior? Is it personality?

This is a really misguided way of thinking. Oftentimes there is no clear or a good reason for a kid being excluded. Groups of kids bond by leaving others out, which strengthens their own sense of being together. The kids on the outside could simply be less aggressive socially, or less outgoing or less athletic, new to the school, whatever. They might look different or act differently. But there is often simply no good or obvious reason for it, apart from human nature being pretty crappy. Your question suggests that there's something wrong with the kid being excluded

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your kid excluded? There is usually a reason. Is it behavior? Is it personality?

OP - it isn’t either as far as I can tell. Girls still get along great. I am a single parent so I think our family is viewed as broken for no great reason. Like I said, mean mom stuff

Sorry being a single mom is not an excuse. There are plenty of kids with divorced parents at my kid's MS (and even more for my older kid in HS) and there's no connection with exclusion so don't blame your kids issues on that. You're probably sending your kid negative messages on that topic and creating issues if you think that way.

I agree OP. I'm also amazed at how involved moms are in middle school friendships. It's weird.

If everyone around is an ahole, maybe it's you.

I thought the whole point of DCUM was so that the mean moms could find each other?

Anonymous wrote:Why is your kid excluded? There is usually a reason. Is it behavior? Is it personality?

OP - it isn’t either as far as I can tell. Girls still get along great. I am a single parent so I think our family is viewed as broken for no great reason. Like I said, mean mom stuff

My daughter was friends with two girls all through ES. Out of the blue, one mom started excluding my DD even though all three girls still get along splendidly in MS. She’s also started refusing all hangouts initiated by us. DD hasn’t said anything but feels the sting and has asked why that mom is doing that.

So yes, mean moms! She also be crazy lol (say this based on what I know of her but suppressed over the years so girls could be friends)

Why is your kid excluded? There is usually a reason. Is it behavior? Is it personality?

My daughter went to a friend’s Halloween get together with about six other girls. The mother divided the group in half and had the nanny bring one group trick or treating while the mom brought her daughter and the “popular” girls to trick or treat in the nicer neighborhood.

The moms are mean in MS - meaner and more intentional in their cruelty.

I absolutely leave certain kids out - one girl brought a lighter and even after I took it away she snatched it back later and kept trying to light things on fire. I finally had to text her mom and ask her to pick up her daughter immediately. So no, I'm not inviting that kid to our house or on any group outtings.

Another kid came over and wouldn't stop dropping F-bombs. I told him that language isn't used in our house and to stop, and he wouldn't. So he's not welcome anymore. He might be a great friend, but he isn't someone I want in my home.

Maybe check if your kid is behaving properly before blaming "mean moms".

It gets better in high school, be patient. Very soon, you will transition into a phase where moms have very little input/control over the social scene. But yes, the moms in MS can be crazy.

Yes, but IME these women are also crazy.

I am astounded by how many mean moms live around here. Everyone is always saying to stay out of their teens social lives but parents (moms especially) can and do control everything. If parents want specific friendships only, they organize the social outings to enable that and exclude the kids they don’t want there. Technically it is all fine except moms can be the “mean” kid and leave people out even when they know doing so is hurtful.

Sign. Learning that the meanest girl in MS is a mom.