Do they have friends anywhere. Already in the type of facility you are looking at? Then, the place has already been approved, by someone they know.

Those friends might relocate, die, whatever, but it's still a comforting thought that someone they knew was/is there and made the same decision.

^ And they don't charge anything, either.

FYI - By Federal Law, all states are required to have an Elder Care Ombudsman Office.

Contact the Virginia Ombudsman program. They can advise and are not biased nor do they get any kind of kick-back.

"Considering a long-term care facility? Need assistance with a care issue? Want to file a complaint?

Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
Call 703-324-5861, TTY 711"

Find a place close to you. Once things start to go down hill, you will be over there all the time. My parents were in IL at a CCRC only 15 mins from my house. Made the daily trips much easier.

Not exactly an answer to your original question but I am familiar with ASL in this area and the only one I have consistently heard good things about is Goodwin house. The feedback I have heard has been from multiple people who do not work for the facility but have had family members there.

If you get an advisor, have them check into that place!

I worked with Elder Tree and they were wonderful. Eldertree are.com

thanks! I reached out to Pathways in Aging and they seemed like just what I was looking for.

These are two referrals I got highly recommended:

https://pathwaysinaging.com/

https://caringconsiderations.com/

My mother is in her early 80s and has Parkinsons; her spouse is almost 90. They are still (kind of) capable of living independently, but the writing is on the wall. They still take daily walks and shop and cook for themselves, but it's getting increasingly difficult.

I would like to find a good living facility for them in Northern Virginia (near DC) that can both give them a good quality of life during the remainder of the time when they can live semi-independently, but also transition seamlessly into assisted living or more intensive medical care if needed. My mother has a lot of legitimate anxiety about being "dumped in a nursing home" or mistreated in some way when she is in a more helpless condition. At the same time, I don't think my home is set up to take them in if more intensive care becomes necessary.

I would plan to visit them frequently, as I currently do where they live now. They have sufficient assets that price should not be an issue, but they are very thrifty and will not want to "overpay".

I know the quality of these places vary a lot in ways you can't tell from the web site. Is there some kind of advisor I could hire to help me with this search and the issues around what to do? I want someone who is familiar with the elder care situation in Northern Virginia not a finder paid by the facilities themselves but is trustworthy about putting my family's interests first. Something like a fiduciary. Are there people like that?