How old is she and what does she want to do?

The day my daughter's pediatrician looked at her and said "you don't have to feel like this all the time" is the day she started medication. She was 16 and had been in therapy about 9mo then (and continued).

The reality is it's not magic and it's not easy to find the right medication. There can be trial and error. It has been worth it for my daughter. Most medications have side effects. Nothing has been intolerable for her - muscle spasms, vivid dreams, weight gain and hormonal changes (we've tried a few things, not all side effects with each, just examples). The first didn't work at all for her, the second worked for awhile and "wore off" and now she is on a combination that is working well.

I think some kids mature, learn skills and decrease or come off medications. Mine expects to need them through college and then we'll see. My guess is she is high risk for pregnancy/postpartum depression/anxiety to keep an eye on. I have several adult friends on medications long term, nothing wrong with that if it is working.

Perhaps the fights are a negative coping mechanism? It may be attention seeking, but not in a "look at me" way but a "I need something I can't/don't know how to express" way (that is what we learned from therapy, a coded cry for help). My daughter has another negative coping mechanism that therapy was helpful with, but incomplete. I believe the medication is very helpful calming those urges and then she can use the skills learned in therapy to work through anxiety-provoking situations.

What kind of anxiety? Like perfectionism? The advice in this show might help:
https://drlisadamour.com/how-do-i-combat-my-kids-perfectionism/

Generally therapy is the first line defense for anxiety, but it has to be a good match of the type of therapy and the skills of the practitioner and the patients receptivity.

What are you hearing from her medical/therapist re. meds? Do they recommend it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

This. With the help of a therapist and/or doctor. And if you start meds, don't just say "all is better now" without finding the root cause or it will upheave her life later on.

The root cause is often the wiring you are born with.

You need to take control of the situation if she is struggling and tell her she needs to try drugs to see how she responds to it. Yes it is scary but mental illness can spiral out of control and that is also scary.

I know - I was medicated for anxiety for 10 years. I felt an improvement immediately but it then took me two years to recover from the trauma of being in a constant anxiety state. The trauma from experiencing the terror of being out of control, was worse than the anxiety itself, if that makes sense.

Once I processed the trauma I was too afraid to drop the meds and revert back so it took me 10 years before I was confident enough to revert back.

So my bottom line to you is - do not allow your daughter to traumatize herself and cause compounding problems, simply out of fear of medication.

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

This. With the help of a therapist and/or doctor. And if you start meds, don't just say "all is better now" without finding the root cause or it will upheave her life later on.

“Medicating” is such a loaded word. You don’t “medicate” and ear infection, you treat it. So you could also ask, “should we treat our daughter’s anxiety? Or let her suffer?”

What does the teen want to do? I lean heavily towards yes, but not if that means forcing her.

Find the root cause.

Medication helped me tremendously in high school. Have you talked with her therapist about it?

It’s your main reason for fights, you are at your wits end—what is the harm in trying it for six weeks and seeing if it helps?

Of course she can go off it. She can try it for a day or a week and stop taking it if she chooses. It may not work, or it may help a lot. She may have to try several different medications to find one that works well for her.

Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

OP can you give us a situation example?

My DH and I are torn. Our daughter who is extremely smart has major anxiety and it has become the main reason for fights at our home. We are trying our best to be supportive but to me almost feels like she wants negative attention where we argue with her.

We are at our wits end. Anything that has worked with Anxiety. She has been in therapy for 2 months and we will continue with it.

Any pros and cons of medicating our child. Can they ever get off. We are so nervous and heartbroken to see her so upset for certain thing that she always ends up exceling in.

We are a zero pressure family. Please be kind in your advice. Thanks.