Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

As a guy this is my view. I was never into the casual dating or hook ups. Just not my thing. And didn’t have sex until there was a defined exclusive relationship.

You are me. And any woman who wanted a bunch of guys to buy her dinner and compete over her would not be a match for me.

Not all women are into dinners. But if you are not courting a woman, eg taking her out in some way, giving her flowers, taking to your sports, hikes, and show your generosity in some way, she won’t feel a relationship is growing into a romantic one. Someone will take her from you. So probably a man needs to focus himself on his “target” and have budget for finding a partner rather than thinking of all other guys she’s “dating”. I personally don’t date a bunch of guys past date 3. After 30 first dates I get down to 5 informal second dates which are usually just a hike or a coffee. Then I get to 2 “front runners” and see how things progress with them to choose one
eventually. If one is cheap and uninventive with dates in that final push he’s out. For example right now I thought I had a “finalist” but he’s not very good in planning things ahead or asks me to find places to go. I almost changed my mind about having sex with him.

In the end, men multi-date or sleep non-exclusively with multiple partners way more often than women.

Why don’t you just ask him?

I want an emotional connection. Something other than just casual sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

As a guy this is my view. I was never into the casual dating or hook ups. Just not my thing. And didn’t have sex until there was a defined exclusive relationship.

You are me. And any woman who wanted a bunch of guys to buy her dinner and compete over her would not be a match for me.

A lot of people view dating as a systematic process that involves casting a wide net and then winnowing down the fish in the net to a smaller number of potential keepers. So that would suggest that some dates that result from this fishing enterprise are “casual.”
So not being into casual dating is sort of like not being into viewed as other than a potential keeper. And don’t all of us want to be valued and not discarded? It’s like wanting to make it into the final round/s of a job interview or to get a job offer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

As a guy this is my view. I was never into the casual dating or hook ups. Just not my thing. And didn’t have sex until there was a defined exclusive relationship.

You are me. And any woman who wanted a bunch of guys to buy her dinner and compete over her would not be a match for me.

PP here I never looked it like that. For me I can’t give me best and be my best if there isn’t a connection. If we were going to be intimate it was going to be just satisfy an immediate urge.

OP here. I think it means what 09/11/2023 14:47 wrote. He isn't interested in taking me out on dates and spending money on me while I date others.

He’s lying!

I know who you should ask, and it's not DCUM.

My boyfriend has never casual dated. He met women and one or both of them was interested in a relationship. As a result he’s in his 40s and has only a couple other besides a marriage that ended in divorced. Didn’t sleep around outside a relationship. When we met he was seeking someone suitable for a life partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

As a guy this is my view. I was never into the casual dating or hook ups. Just not my thing. And didn’t have sex until there was a defined exclusive relationship.

You are me. And any woman who wanted a bunch of guys to buy her dinner and compete over her would not be a match for me.

I guess it depends on what point he's saying it. If you encounter this on an app then take it with a grain of salt. If he says this to you in person then I agree with the others here.

Anonymous wrote:it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

As a guy this is my view. I was never into the casual dating or hook ups. Just not my thing. And didn’t have sex until there was a defined exclusive relationship.

it sounds to me like he wants an actual relationship, not just a hook up.

I think it means he isn't interested in casual dating. He's probably looking to settle down, get married, maybe have kids.

what does that mean? Yes, I know most men want to have sex. That's a given.