Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 07:52     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Let her make her own choice. Help her find a good surgeon.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 07:49     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Doctors are doing lots of elective surgeries (think knee replacements, hip replacements) etc. on the 85+ crowd now.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 07:38     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Anonymous wrote:My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.


Did you have the same discussion with your mom and doctor? Knee replacement is also elective.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 07:35     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe she is going ti find an anesthesiologist to sign off on it and agree to put her under for elective surgery at age 88.



This. Malpractice.


I don't think so. If there is so no sign of cognitive impairment and they have her sign informed consents where she is told of every risk I don't know that it could be considered that unless the chances of complication are astronomically high. I think OP needs to simply state concerns, show she cares, but also make clear her own boundaries. I would not have my kids sacrifice seeing their own friends and having normalcy to go visit looks obsessed grandma rewcovering from altering her face to look younger. It sends a poor message to kids about the importance of appearance.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 07:02     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
My mom was the one who ended up with hospital delirium after knee surgery last year and the whole experience just muddled her brain. She still has no recollection of any of it, probably lost a month or two of memories completely. She has never made it back to what she was prior to surgery.

I would have a long discussion with the doctor who thinks it’s acceptable to do this to your mom. Make it very clear that if anything goes wrong you had expressed your reservations to him in advance and will try to hold him responsible. If it gets that far say the same thing to the anesthesiologist.

I am shocked there would be a doctor out there willing to do this.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 05:32     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe she is going ti find an anesthesiologist to sign off on it and agree to put her under for elective surgery at age 88.



This. Malpractice.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 00:07     Subject: Re:Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
This is depressing. What age is she trying to look? Who is she doing this for? It will be heartbreaking if she suffers complications and is miserable simply due to vanity.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 23:20     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe she is going ti find an anesthesiologist to sign off on it and agree to put her under for elective surgery at age 88.


Yes- this is a good point.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 22:54     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
My mother kept saying she was going to do this before the pandemic hit. They will find a cosmetic surgeon willing to take their money believe me. Back then, I made it clear I would help her in a real medical situation, but I am not taking time away from my spouse, kids and job to be involved in any way with elective surgery for vanity reasons. She was livid.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 22:53     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
I find it hard to believe she is going ti find an anesthesiologist to sign off on it and agree to put her under for elective surgery at age 88.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 20:58     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
My husband’s aunt did this before our wedding (which we thought was weird but cute) when she was 80. Her cardiologist had to give the green light. She died at age 92.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 20:53     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Try to talk her out of it, yes. Make it an issue between the two of you, no. She may die on the operating table, or die post op, but if that's how she wants to exit.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 19:16     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
I also think recovery will be terrible. But I've also learned to butt out of these things after voicing your concerns.

I have a family member dealing now with an unnecessary procedure that was not a good fit for her and all the health fall out from it years later. You can't talk someone out of that stuff.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 19:12     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
At her age, recovery will be terrible. An ethical dermatologist should have dissuaded her. I would definitely make an attempt to talk her out of it.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2023 19:10     Subject: Mom, 88, getting a cosmetic surgery - face lift
Should I try to talk her out of it? There is nothing wrong with her face that she needs to get this done. Her friends that are 10+ years younger had it done.