you are a good friend pp

Close friends and family…I will probe to see if it’s me or just bad timing. Not close friends, twice and then the ball is in their court.

Anonymous wrote:When you are resentful, you stop. Resentment kills. It kills the joy of having a relationship. It kills the relationship, even more than neglect. Fortunately though, life is long. The person may miss you. May miss you, appreciate you more and adjust. Might be in the near future or the far future. All relationships ebb and flow and it might be that this is a low point and things improve.

I stop if I'm starting to feel resentful, too - that point varies depending on the person.

As someone who makes and keeps friends easily, if I turn down an invitation from someone I'd like to see again (friend or developing friend), I always suggest another time. I'm clear with people I like that I enjoy their company and am willing to make the effort to maintain the friendship. I'm not friends with people who can't or won't do that (or are just not that into me as a friend, also fine).

I think three offers is a good gauge of their interest.

Twice. First time, I get it, no one is always free. Second time turning down an invite, I will just wait for them to reach out and ask.

Sister - infinite and a "wth why are you blowing me off" phone call. Friends - two invites.

Anonymous wrote:With a sister, infinite invites. With a friend, maybe 3 and then I try to unresentfully leave the ball in her court. If she invites me to something and I want to go, I accept!

Agree!

With a sister, infinite invites. With a friend, maybe 3 and then I try to unresentfully leave the ball in her court. If she invites me to something and I want to go, I accept!

When you are resentful, you stop. Resentment kills. It kills the joy of having a relationship. It kills the relationship, even more than neglect. Fortunately though, life is long. The person may miss you. May miss you, appreciate you more and adjust. Might be in the near future or the far future. All relationships ebb and flow and it might be that this is a low point and things improve.

5-6. Bc I know how things are hectic.

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you talk to your sister? With friends I’d drop it after 2 invites.

I’m not sure how to bring it up to my sister.

Can’t you talk to your sister? With friends I’d drop it after 2 invites.

It’s usually one for one. If I extend but plans change - I let them extend. If they don’t - I move on. All relationships are the same: 2 way street.

2 or 3, depending on the length of the relationship, and if you used to see each other often.

They can reach out to you if they are interested. Find your people elsewhere.

If you invite someone to get together and each time it doesn’t happen either due to busy lives or potential flakiness - do you take a hint or do you still try to make time to spend with them?


I’m facing this currently with a sister and now a set of two mom friends. I feel like it’s me.