Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I know what you mean. For instance, I was visiting once and I was complimenting the pie and my mom said it was home made. I was flabbergasted as if you knew my mom's cooking that I grew up with, there is no earthly way she would be able to make a pie crust. I was so impressed that I asked some questions to find out more like where she learned how to make the pie. It became painfully clear that she didn't make the pie, but for some reason said she did (she wanted the praise?)

I quickly let it go and moved on to another topic, but I've seen other instances like that. I wonder if it's just a facet of getting older as never in all the previous years would my mom have ever felt the need to make up something like that. I am a little worried, I must admit.

People saying storebought desserts were homemade is like one of the most common white lies ever.

It’s also dumb to lie about since it’s so obvious.

My spouse, and his father and brother, has aspergers and “lies” all the time.

It’s driven from ignorance and cluelessness though, not malice. However it also means we cannot trust anything he says. Which is insanity trying to run a household and raise children with.
And many of the “lies” and omittances are to cover up mistakes or mishaps or damage so it’s destabilizing to live with all those surprises and setbacks. And having to discover broken things or missed appointments the hard way, can be infuriating. The communication is always that poor.

It's attention seeking behavior, which always stems from insecurity.

Insecurity is the #1 reason.

My mom lied a lot -- little stuff like telling guests the cookies were homemade (she had it in her head that if you buy butter cookies and "brush them with butter" and put them in the oven people think you just made them), and I remember at like 68 after years of dying her brown hair auburn she was suddenly almost platinum blonde (which looked really bad and weird) and she went on about how "It just happened, I just suddenly turned blonde!" She kept insisting it was totally natural even though her roots were obvious. When she passed away a year later we found the drugstore bleach in her bathroom.

My stepfather was the big liar though. I remember he told my grandparents, I think at Thanksgiving dinner, that he'd competed in the Olympics and won a bronze medal in, oh what was it? I think he said "shot put," or something. He was definitely never even at the Olympics, let alone competing in them. He'd tell people stuff like that. It was humiliating because everyone always knew he was lying.

Anonymous wrote:I think it happens when people get older. Partly declining memory and self esteem, and the need to make up or inflate certain stories for the attention. They want to feel special.

I should add - it's kind of like reverting back to childhood. Some of it is wishful thinking, or sometimes how you "feel" seems more real than the actual reality.

So, maybe it "feels" like a cloudy day to her. So in her mind, it IS a cloudy day.

I think it happens when people get older. Partly declining memory and self esteem, and the need to make up or inflate certain stories for the attention. They want to feel special.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I know what you mean. For instance, I was visiting once and I was complimenting the pie and my mom said it was home made. I was flabbergasted as if you knew my mom's cooking that I grew up with, there is no earthly way she would be able to make a pie crust. I was so impressed that I asked some questions to find out more like where she learned how to make the pie. It became painfully clear that she didn't make the pie, but for some reason said she did (she wanted the praise?)

I quickly let it go and moved on to another topic, but I've seen other instances like that. I wonder if it's just a facet of getting older as never in all the previous years would my mom have ever felt the need to make up something like that. I am a little worried, I must admit.

People saying storebought desserts were homemade is like one of the most common white lies ever.

Yeah, I know, but this has never been her behavior in the whole time I've known her. She knows what she can cook brilliantly and the rest is no big deal to her
But also, lately there are other totally unnecessary "little white lies" that fit this pattern.

my mom does this too
idk why it's weird

i catch her everytime and tell her to stop lying

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I know what you mean. For instance, I was visiting once and I was complimenting the pie and my mom said it was home made. I was flabbergasted as if you knew my mom's cooking that I grew up with, there is no earthly way she would be able to make a pie crust. I was so impressed that I asked some questions to find out more like where she learned how to make the pie. It became painfully clear that she didn't make the pie, but for some reason said she did (she wanted the praise?)

I quickly let it go and moved on to another topic, but I've seen other instances like that. I wonder if it's just a facet of getting older as never in all the previous years would my mom have ever felt the need to make up something like that. I am a little worried, I must admit.

People saying storebought desserts were homemade is like one of the most common white lies ever.

NP. Totally with associates or people on friend circle periphery- but your own mother (especially when you grew up with her cooking)? That's weird as hell.

My dad now tells 'fun facts' about history or culture or celebrities that aren't true and are googleable. On his last visit, I would say 'hmmmm let's see... ' and pull out my phone and google and then he'd go 'I don't know- I heard it somewhere... it might be true'...

Not my mom, but I have a friend who does this with increasing frequency and it is very concerning.

For example, she just went to visit her daughter. The day before she travelled, she told me the daughter and her husband both advised her they had bad cases of Covid, were bedridden, feeling horrible and had 103 temps. Friend went to visit anyway. I figured maybe she thought she would take care of them.

The day after she gets there, she sends me a photo of them all out doing an activity at a museum, no masks, and they were all laughing, having a good time and seemed perfectly healthy to me.

I said, "I thought they both had bad cases of Covid and were sick with high temps?!" Friend never answered.

Drives me crazy because she never used to be like this. I wonder if she needs to add a sense of drama to everything now that we are getting older...

Anonymous wrote:I think I know what you mean. For instance, I was visiting once and I was complimenting the pie and my mom said it was home made. I was flabbergasted as if you knew my mom's cooking that I grew up with, there is no earthly way she would be able to make a pie crust. I was so impressed that I asked some questions to find out more like where she learned how to make the pie. It became painfully clear that she didn't make the pie, but for some reason said she did (she wanted the praise?)

I quickly let it go and moved on to another topic, but I've seen other instances like that. I wonder if it's just a facet of getting older as never in all the previous years would my mom have ever felt the need to make up something like that. I am a little worried, I must admit.

People saying storebought desserts were homemade is like one of the most common white lies ever.

Personality disorder

My mom makes up elaborate stories… not even just white lies. Things that very obviously did not happen. Drives me crazy. She’s a narcissist who loves attention so I’m guessing that’s why.

I think I know what you mean. For instance, I was visiting once and I was complimenting the pie and my mom said it was home made. I was flabbergasted as if you knew my mom's cooking that I grew up with, there is no earthly way she would be able to make a pie crust. I was so impressed that I asked some questions to find out more like where she learned how to make the pie. It became painfully clear that she didn't make the pie, but for some reason said she did (she wanted the praise?)

I quickly let it go and moved on to another topic, but I've seen other instances like that. I wonder if it's just a facet of getting older as never in all the previous years would my mom have ever felt the need to make up something like that. I am a little worried, I must admit.

My mother always lies about little things and it’s so odd. I’m curious why she does this, and what she gains from it.

Like right now, I was just on the phone with my mom and mentioned how nice it is the sun is out. She lives just one town over, but close. She gasped in surprise and said it was cloudy as could be by her. I looked in the direction of her house and didn’t see clouds, so I looked on the weather app and it said it was currently “sunny” where she lives.

It’s always small, seemingly meaningless things like that. I have no idea why she feels the need to lie. I never call her out on it because, well, I don’t know, I just never felt it worth it. But maybe I should?