Op this sounds kind of awful and you’re going to ruin things with your nanny, I’m telling you right now, as a nanny. So when your baby doesn’t sleep, she’s going to have a 12 months old and a baby awake at the same time, with different needs, on different schedules? No. Personally I won’t work for families who think every minute at work needs to be filled with work. I need to just sit down for 20-30 mins of my day to decompress and prepare for when the kids wake up from nap. When is this nanny going to eat? You’d have to pay me $50/hr to even consider this, and honestly my peace of mind is worth more than that! I don’t understand why you’re so desperate to provide childcare for your friend? You’re going to lose your own childcare in the process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny is with 3 kids under 4, you don’t think she maybe needs a little bit of a break during nap time? This is a great way to lose your nanny. Tread lightly!

For 4 of 8 hours a day she only has the baby. She is rarely with all three, only if I have a doctors appointment or something. Yes, I'm trying to tread lightly which is why I'm asking how to ask her.

I don’t think this is something your nanny will want to do, this is really excessive. If I were your nanny, I would agree to keep my job, and search until I find something new. Working with kids is hard and now she will have zero downtime.

Anonymous wrote:No one will agree to nanny a baby for just 2 hrs. 99% of moms do not need 2 hrs of childcare either. It has to be half day or a full day. Are you a troll?

Did you actually read my post? My friend with the baby is the one who suggested two hours a day until her daycare slot opens up. Are you a troll?

No one will agree to nanny a baby for just 2 hrs. 99% of moms do not need 2 hrs of childcare either. It has to be half day or a full day. Are you a troll?

Anonymous wrote:Pretty soon your 12 mo will be sleeping in the afternoons for one nap not the mornings.
Does the friend need FT care or just a few hours in the morning?
A baby , a toddler and 2 preschoolers is a lot. Even if you are home some of that time.
If it’s just PT I think you can ask and offer her extra money per hour for those hours. I wouldn’t ask her to add on a baby FT though.

School is 11:30-2:30. Older kids and I are gone 11-3. Baby sleeps 12-2:30. Nanny would only be watching my friends baby for 2 hours my kid sleeps. Obviously there's a chance of no nap or weird times so she would have to be ok with two babies at once.

I'm not proposing a nannyshare with four kids.

Pretty soon your 12 mo will be sleeping in the afternoons for one nap not the mornings.
Does the friend need FT care or just a few hours in the morning?
A baby , a toddler and 2 preschoolers is a lot. Even if you are home some of that time.
If it’s just PT I think you can ask and offer her extra money per hour for those hours. I wouldn’t ask her to add on a baby FT though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it sounds like you don't like your nanny-fair enough-and you think she should accept the request because you don't think she works hard enough. You just want to come across as polite I guess.

If I were you, I'd focus on your own kids and finding a better nanny/childcare option.

I don't think she should accept, I hope she does but don't want to pressure her. Getting a new nanny is not an option. She is great with the baby.

Ok-but as we all know, the baby won't stay a baby for long. Then what?

Well the nanny share will be over in 4-5 months if that's what you're talking about. If you mean that we still have our nanny...my kids are bonded to this person. People aren't disposable. She would have to do something egregious to make me want to lose a second caregiver in nine months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it sounds like you don't like your nanny-fair enough-and you think she should accept the request because you don't think she works hard enough. You just want to come across as polite I guess.

If I were you, I'd focus on your own kids and finding a better nanny/childcare option.

I don't think she should accept, I hope she does but don't want to pressure her. Getting a new nanny is not an option. She is great with the baby.

Ok-but as we all know, the baby won't stay a baby for long. Then what?

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it sounds like you don't like your nanny-fair enough-and you think she should accept the request because you don't think she works hard enough. You just want to come across as polite I guess.

If I were you, I'd focus on your own kids and finding a better nanny/childcare option.

I don't think she should accept, I hope she does but don't want to pressure her. Getting a new nanny is not an option. She is great with the baby.

Honestly, it sounds like you don't like your nanny-fair enough-and you think she should accept the request because you don't think she works hard enough. You just want to come across as polite I guess.

If I were you, I'd focus on your own kids and finding a better nanny/childcare option.

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny is with 3 kids under 4, you don’t think she maybe needs a little bit of a break during nap time? This is a great way to lose your nanny. Tread lightly!

For 4 of 8 hours a day she only has the baby. She is rarely with all three, only if I have a doctors appointment or something. Yes, I'm trying to tread lightly which is why I'm asking how to ask her.

Anonymous wrote:You do realise that your child won’t always nap two hours? If you want to do this, you still need to pay $32/hr for your kid, plus your friend needs to pay at least $20/he for her kid.

Yes I realize that, but likely not in the 4-5 months we're proposing.
Nowhere did I say I wouldn't be paying $32. My question is how to bring this up to our nanny.

Your nanny is with 3 kids under 4, you don’t think she maybe needs a little bit of a break during nap time? This is a great way to lose your nanny. Tread lightly!

You do realise that your child won’t always nap two hours? If you want to do this, you still need to pay $32/hr for your kid, plus your friend needs to pay at least $20/he for her kid.

I'll try to keep this brief but want to give the full story.

Our nanny started in January. She is fine- keeps the kids safe but that's it. Doesn't plan activities, doesn't do laundry, kids mess everywhere, has to check with me about every single decision, no initiative. We are sticking with it because childcare is very hard to find where we live (not DC) and our kids lost their beloved amazing nanny due to her spouse's relocation and they're still devastated.

We have three kids, age 4, 3 and 12 months. Older two are in 3hr preschool every day. I do pickup and drop-off because my office is in the school's building. Baby sleeps 2.5 hours during their school hours.

I have a good friend who had a baby recently and they won't be able to start daycare for awhile. She proposed a nanny share where she would drop-off her baby while mine is napping and the older kids are at school. I would really like to do it to help her out.

How would you broach this with our nanny? I don't want to insult her and say "hey here's my friend's baby to watch now"- I would never do that to her. If we offered her more an hour and asked if she was interested is that polite enough?

For context she doesn't do anything during those two hours, just watches tv or is on her phone. I'm not suggesting this because I don't want her sitting around but because it would really help out my friend who is desperate for childcare.


Here's even more context if you want to read it but not necessary, just dont' want to be accused of writing a novel:
-Our nanny was formerly this friend's older sister's nanny, everyone knows each other. In fact this friend's sister tried to poach our nanny for my friend not knowing we were friends, luckily our nanny said she was happy where she was.
-Our nanny is a baby person, NOT a toddler person. She is overwhelmed by all three kids at once. I work from home half the day and am with at least one kid for much of the day. She loves being with babies.
-We pay $32 an hour on the books with generous benefits.


Thanks for any insight. I don't want our nanny to feel obligated to say yes so I want to approach this delicately.