I'm CBC. I've never seen any of my friends or family rest chopsticks in the bowl/touching food. You know to rest them across the bowl. So which one are you in the OP? My children (ABC) know the rules, too.

Japanese here.

It is a big no-no to plant your chopsticks upright in your bowl, because that is how ritual food offerings are given to the deceased in Japan.

It is generally considered more polite to rest your chopsticks, when unused, on the little chopstick rest, not in any dish. But in family homes, I can tell you that anything goes with chopsticks. This is more of a "when in company" rule. EXCEPT the upright thing, see above, which is never done, and children are taught never to do.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not ABC, but I was taught chopstick etiquette by a Chinese person. They told me chopsticks should not ever be rested touching food. For whatever it's worth, I have always followed this since. At restaurants with disposable chopsticks, I make a little stand out of the wrapper and rest them on it.

I’m American born Korean and I follow this, except I don’t mind if serving chopsticks are resting horizontally on the side of a serving plate. Chopsticks stuck in food looks odd, not to mention precarious, and I’ve also heard the “signifying death or a funeral” story. It was probably from joy luck club.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not ABC, but I was taught chopstick etiquette by a Chinese person. They told me chopsticks should not ever be rested touching food. For whatever it's worth, I have always followed this since. At restaurants with disposable chopsticks, I make a little stand out of the wrapper and rest them on it.

I have heard this as well.

I'm not ABC, but I was taught chopstick etiquette by a Chinese person. They told me chopsticks should not ever be rested touching food. For whatever it's worth, I have always followed this since. At restaurants with disposable chopsticks, I make a little stand out of the wrapper and rest them on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help my ABC family with an argument about chopstick etiquette.

One person says it is absolutely not ok to rest chopsticks in a bowl with the tips touching the food and the tops leaning across the rim of the bowl, as one would do with a serving spoon.

Other person says that’s the wrong interpretation of the incense rule, which applies only to chopsticks left standing straight up with tips planted in a bowl of food.

I won’t say who’s who. We are ABCs if it helps contextualize our argument.

What does this mean?

American Born Chinese

Anonymous wrote:Help my ABC family with an argument about chopstick etiquette.

One person says it is absolutely not ok to rest chopsticks in a bowl with the tips touching the food and the tops leaning across the rim of the bowl, as one would do with a serving spoon.

Other person says that’s the wrong interpretation of the incense rule, which applies only to chopsticks left standing straight up with tips planted in a bowl of food.

I won’t say who’s who. We are ABCs if it helps contextualize our argument.

What does this mean?

One person says it is absolutely not ok to rest chopsticks in a bowl with the tips touching the food and the tops leaning across the rim of the bowl, as one would do with a serving spoon. - Agree, in my east Asian culture, this is not good manners. Wouldn't the chopsticks fall? Do you use very large bowls? Just rest them on the bowl without touching the food.

Other person says that’s the wrong interpretation of the incense rule, which applies only to chopsticks left standing straight up with tips planted in a bowl of food. - Chopsticks are left standing straight up in rice as an offering to the deceased as well.

I’ve read that chopsticks standing straight up are unlucky and have something to do with death.

I’d say just the planted perpendicular to the table version is the only offensive one, but I’m also ABC. It’s just the thing i always got bagged about. Propped on the side, no yelling, so that’s the rule in my family at least b

Nonsense. Use it anyway you want to get the food. That's how we (Asians) use. Just don't use your chopsticks on shared food (unless family meals)

Help my ABC family with an argument about chopstick etiquette.

One person says it is absolutely not ok to rest chopsticks in a bowl with the tips touching the food and the tops leaning across the rim of the bowl, as one would do with a serving spoon.

Other person says that’s the wrong interpretation of the incense rule, which applies only to chopsticks left standing straight up with tips planted in a bowl of food.

I won’t say who’s who. We are ABCs if it helps contextualize our argument.