Anonymous wrote:My daughter toured private schools and our family seriously considered one of them as the teachers there seemed so great. We are an atheist/agnostic family and said so on the application, but we always felt welcomed at the school events we attended. DD was offered scholarships which were based solely on academic merit and not faith. We ended up at a secular school, but it was a hard decision. I think many non-Catholic families chose Catholic schools because their tuition is more reasonable than secular independents'.

Catholics send their kids to these schools BECAUSE they are Catholic schools.

Non-Catholics attempt to send their kids because they see them as cheaper private schools that are an alternative to the public schools. They are interested in them IN SPITE of their being Catholic schools.

Everyone knows this.

OP, we are a Catholic family. I attended Catholic school my entire life. When we moved to Arlington we considered Catholic school. But here’s the thing: the public schools are better academically. They just are, and always have been.

It’s so interesting that you think the Arlington middle schools are full of kids going wild and undisciplined. The typical complaint by the middle school parents are that the schools are too strict. That was our experience.

There is a Montessori - Catholic inspired school in Bethesda that might be a fit. It’s a K-8. Woods Academy tuition is a bit more than a traditional Catholic school and a bit less than other privates. With three kids, they might work with you on tuition. I know Muslim families who have been happy there.

For middle school, please remember most of the Catholic schools are affiliated with a parish. At that level, the religious instruction in very Catholic, with much of the 7-8 grade work preparing for the sacrament of confirmation. In high school, the religious education is more world view and, in my sons case at SJC, more like a philosophy class. That being said, my sons have attended two different coed Catholic high schools and had friends of a variety of faiths.

My daughter toured private schools and our family seriously considered one of them as the teachers there seemed so great. We are an atheist/agnostic family and said so on the application, but we always felt welcomed at the school events we attended. DD was offered scholarships which were based solely on academic merit and not faith. We ended up at a secular school, but it was a hard decision. I think many non-Catholic families chose Catholic schools because their tuition is more reasonable than secular independents'.

Can I ask what Arlington middle school your kids would go to? I’m asking because what you are describing has not been our kids’ experiences in APS at all.

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me that the secular private school is a much better alternative if you are looking to seamlessly integrate into a new school.

Thanks everyone. To PP above, my problem with secular private schools are two fold (1) many are extremely expensive. With 3 kids we simply cannot afford them and we wouldn't qualify for financial aid and (2) many of them are not traditional in their education. I am looking for schools that offer direct instruction, are content focused, emphasize reading, writing and math, and teach via direct instruction. I know catholic schools tend to do this. I am also looking for schools that have strict behavioral standards but are loving as well. My problem is that the schools I am looking for tend to be religious, and the non-catholic ones (whether religious or secular) that tend to be easier to get into have very few minorities. I don't want my kids to stick out. I like the values that many of the religious schools have and they are similar to my values. But we do not have the same beliefs. I am not worried about my kids adopting a different belief system - they have a strong sense of self. But I am more worried about them sticking out both religiously and ethnically.

Gonzaga is probably more like 85% Catholic.

Other, larger Catholic schools are less than that.

OP, you should search the threads on this. Catholic school welcome everyone. They can be difficult to get into for non-Catholics due to the parochial nature of many of the K8 schools. They admit children who are members of the parish first and foremost.
The only thing most people ask of those non-Catholics who join the community is that you are respectful and don’t try to negate the Catholic aspects of the school.

Good luck.

My kids go to a Catholic school. One of my daughter's best friends is Muslim. The family is very welcome and they fully participate in everything at school except for the Sacraments. Participating is the Sacraments is not required and a handful of kids sit those out and nobody bats an eye.

You could also try Episcopalian or Presbyterian schools if there are any near you. Those tend to be very welcoming as well.

Seems to me that the secular private school is a much better alternative if you are looking to seamlessly integrate into a new school.

Catholic high school teacher here. Catholic schools vary widely, so I can only speak from my experience.

The school I work at is about 50% Catholic. The student population includes some Muslim and Jewish students, as well as a substantial number of non-religious students. The students appear to be very accepting of one another, and I can’t think of an instance during which a student was excluded or picked on because of their faith. The school makes a big effort to meet students where they are on their faith journey, and they intentionally don’t specify it has to be a Catholic journey.

Students are required to attend Mass monthly, but once again there is an intentional effort to include the entire student population. Only Catholic students can participate in the Eucharist because that’s a major tenet of the Catholic faith, but the remainder of the service is very inclusive (homilies, music, etc). Students also are required to take religion all four years, but it is opened up to world religions by junior year. My own child learned about Islam last year.

Academics are strong. Discipline is also strong. The school doesn’t tolerate behavior that negatively impacts the academic environment.

I say this to illustrate that Catholic schools can work well for students of other faiths. I’ve seen it. The problem is, like all things in life, not all schools are equal. I recommend visiting schools to get a good feel for the environment.

OP here. Will add that we already tried a Muslim school for a year and the academics sucked.

I have slowly come to the conclusion that we cannot in good conscience send our kids to public for middle school. We are in Arlington and standards, especially behavioral standards have deteriorated. Disciplinary problems are rampant. Kids take pictures of other kids while using the bathroom and admin does nothing about it. Drug deals happen in school and students come to class high. I’m looking for a school that focuses strictly on academics and discipline. Unfortunately we cannot afford the expensive private secular schools for our three kids and someone suggested looking at catholic schools. The problem? We aren’t even Christian. We are Muslims of Arab origin. While we am more on the liberal side (don’t cover my hair etc) we still are practicing. Would my kids even be able to get into catholic school and if they can would they be welcome? We share a lot of things with Christians when it comes to faith but obviously do not believe that Jesus is the son of God. How much are particular religious beliefs emphasized in school? No issue with that of course but it might not be the right fit and my kids would stick out. Alternatively are there secular private schools that emphasize traditional methods of instruction and are also welcoming to minorities? Thank you so much.