Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Right. My parent has enough for a comfortable retirement and end of life care. My goal is to help them preserve that and not spend down their assets on their new spouse. For what it's worth, new spouse also has means, as do their kids. Just looking for ideas on how to help, but recognizing my help may not be wanted. If my parent is open to going with me or one of my siblings to talk to an elder law specialist, should we be asking about a certain kind of trust, for example (I doubt an irrevocable one is going to be well received)? And can an already married person put assets in a trust without the consent of their spouse?

Marriage is a commitment to do just that though. It's joining two people to become one. If your parent wants to get married, this is what they are choosing to do. Is your parent mentally competent to make this choice? If yes, then back off. If no, then get them declared mentally incompetent and they will not be allowed to enter a legally binding contract like marriage, and their money will be safe.

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

If your parent spent all their money and isn't sick enough for Medicaid, they may need help if you don't want the to live on just social security.

What you can do with the assets without a spouse's permission may also depend on the type of assets. It's hard to do much with a 401K without a spouse's signature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Right. My parent has enough for a comfortable retirement and end of life care. My goal is to help them preserve that and not spend down their assets on their new spouse. For what it's worth, new spouse also has means, as do their kids. Just looking for ideas on how to help, but recognizing my help may not be wanted. If my parent is open to going with me or one of my siblings to talk to an elder law specialist, should we be asking about a certain kind of trust, for example (I doubt an irrevocable one is going to be well received)? And can an already married person put assets in a trust without the consent of their spouse?

Yes, probably, depends on the state I think. But, the spouse may still have rights to those assets if your parent dies, though that doesn't seem to be a concern you have.

Anonymous wrote:If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Right. My parent has enough for a comfortable retirement and end of life care. My goal is to help them preserve that and not spend down their assets on their new spouse. For what it's worth, new spouse also has means, as do their kids. Just looking for ideas on how to help, but recognizing my help may not be wanted. If my parent is open to going with me or one of my siblings to talk to an elder law specialist, should we be asking about a certain kind of trust, for example (I doubt an irrevocable one is going to be well received)? And can an already married person put assets in a trust without the consent of their spouse?

^ enforces filial responsibility laws

If your parent has spent all of their assets, unless you live in a jurisdiction that has and enforced filial responsibility, you wouldn’t be footing the bill for anything unless you want to offer the new spouse an “upgrade” from whatever Medicaid has to offer.

Anonymous wrote:What does your parent want to do with their assets?

An irrevocable trust will protect their assets from being considered as Medicaid assets for both spouses; however it means your parent would need to give up all control over the money to a trustee!

If your parent’s spouse develops health issues and needs to hire care, assets from either spouse can be used, it depends what your parent intends. No one is required to spend their assets to care for a spouse but they may want to.

Can creditors of a parent's new spouse look to the parent's assets? For example, can they get to my parent's 401k or IRA? What about investment property owned in an LLC? A trust sounds logical. Can this be done even after marriage? Does it require the consent of a new spouse? My concern is that my own parent will spend down their assets on their new spouse and my siblings and I will be left footing the bill for my parent's end of life care.

What does your parent want to do with their assets?

An irrevocable trust will protect their assets from being considered as Medicaid assets for both spouses; however it means your parent would need to give up all control over the money to a trustee!

If your parent’s spouse develops health issues and needs to hire care, assets from either spouse can be used, it depends what your parent intends. No one is required to spend their assets to care for a spouse but they may want to.

Anonymous wrote:I think the best strategy is to not legally marry. marriage is generally about combining assets not keeping them separate. But ask a professional!!

This.
Why does the couple want to marry, as opposed to just living together? Do they have religious/moral reasons why they can't?

Consult an experienced elder law attorney in the relevant jurisdiction affiliated with the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA).

This is not for amateurs or dabblers or crowdsourcing.

I think the best strategy is to not legally marry. marriage is generally about combining assets not keeping them separate. But ask a professional!!

This is a complicated question involving Medicaid and which state you live in. You shoudn't be getting advice here, you need a real financial pro.

This is a tough one. Maybe assets placed in a trust, where the trustee can control where the assets go and ensure that spouse #2 uses only their money for long term care? Make the trustee?

Hopefully the elderly newlyweds have discussed the financial aspect of their union and come to an agreement so it doesn’t look like someone is being stingy.

In a second marriage, what steps can you take to protect assets from the costs associated with a new spouse’s end of life care? Are there certain types of asset protection strategies that work best? Let’s say the goal is not necessarily to die with an estate, but just to make sure that you or your parent still has enough money left over for their own care if it is likely they will outlive their new spouse. And how do you make sure the new spouse spends down their own estate first, especially if there are kids involved on both sides? Assume the person you are looking to protect has enough of their own money as long as they play their cards right. Looking for advice beyond, “don’t get remarried,” "get a prenup," and "buy long term care insurance".