What helped me was something I read that discussed how most married men could not articulate how important their spouse was to them, and how just knowing that their spouse was at home puttering around or gardening or doing whatever was so enormously comforting and essential to their wellbeing, even if there was no direct interaction going on. My husband has said that he "hates" it when I am away, and I'm like, "Why?? It's not like we're doing much of anything most nights." But after I read that I realized that he just derives comfort from knowing I'm around and that he must assume the same is true for me; which is to say, he may not see the need for talk/overt acts of affection because to him it's all unspoken and implicit and largely about being present.

Lots of men don’t want to look weak in front of their wife/girlfriend, so they will lie about stupid crap like whether or not they fell asleep. It’s not just my DHz.

Men don’t like to talk about their emotions. This means that
a) they don’t really think to ask about your emotions, and this isn’t them being a jerk. And
b). Sometimes they think you are being kind of a jerk when you ask what they are feeling (particularly if you guess right).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Books, articles, something your mom or friend told you, “aha” moment…it all counts.
What helped you to better understand your spouse/child/parent of the opposite gender?

The best advice is to deeply listen, to listen without any agenda.

Who told you this? How did you use it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Ok. What’s anything at all that helped you to understand someone other than yourself?

You don’t have to go that far. Simply ask: what helped you understand someone better of another gender?

Okays. What helped you better understand a gender that you do not identify with/as?

Anonymous wrote:Books, articles, something your mom or friend told you, “aha” moment…it all counts.
What helped you to better understand your spouse/child/parent of the opposite gender?

The best advice is to deeply listen, to listen without any agenda.

John Gray’s books helped a lot. In my experience, both men and women found that what he had to say resonated with them, which I think is a good endorsement!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Ok. What’s anything at all that helped you to understand someone other than yourself?

You don’t have to go that far. Simply ask: what helped you understand someone better of another gender?

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Ok. What’s anything at all that helped you to understand someone other than yourself?

[quote=Anonymous]There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?[/quote]

Okay. Let’s make it easier. What’s something that helped you to better understand someone else? Someone different from you in some way.

Didn't Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets explain this to the secretary at his publisher's office ?

That ultimately everyone craves love and compassion and empathy.

T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us

I thought this book was really helpful, particularly in understanding my boys when they were going through puberty. I was surprised how competitive they were in games, but also within their friend group. This helped me to better understand why it was so important and what they were going through.

There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Books, articles, something your mom or friend told you, “aha” moment…it all counts.
What helped you to better understand your spouse/child/parent of the opposite gender?