Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

Not if she is frizzy. The brushing is probably making it worse.

You might want to get her a curl cream - and she could probably use a different haircut, too. Try to find her a hairdresser who is good with curls. (I'm not in DC anymore so I don't have a rec.)

I was in my late 40s when I finally got a curl-friendly haircut and found curl cream, so she is WAY ahead of the curve learning how to treat her hair this young.

But yeah, a curly shampoo and conditioner, curl cream, a good cut - and lots of experimentation. Like I've learned not to towel dry my hair at ALL - I wash, condition, rinse (not over-rinse), put in some curl cream, and use a wide toothed comb, then just leave it to air dry. MUCH better for me - but she'll have to kiss a lot of frogs to see what works for her and her hair.

Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

Thanks PPs! She has wavy hair, I wouldn’t say curly. It’s long and she gets it trimmed only about once a year. The top layer kind of frizzes out in a way that drives her crazy. Silly question about leave-in conditioners as I’ve never used them: if you put them in the evening don’t they get all over your pillow/bed when you go to sleep? She typically showers before bed.

OP, start with a good curly hair shampoo and conditioner - comb the conditioner through, then rinse it.

Towel dry - do NOT rub the hair with the towel!

Spray a good leave in conditioner and scrunch with fingers.

The only time you brush curly hair is immediately before you wash it.

Leave in conditioner will be a game changer for her.

Something very easy would be to take a few drops of olive oil and just rake it through her hair when damp. I did this when I was young, and it actually works well and sometimes better than all the fancy creams. I was thinking of going back to it.


Agree with all that she probably has wavy hair and is treating it as straight. Wavy hair needs a LOT of moisture.

She needs a styling product, but to recommend we need to understand what kind of hair she has.

Anonymous wrote:Does she have curls?

This is a tween girl trying to de-poof her hair with water all day so I think it’s safe to assume it’s wavy/curly and the mom has different hair.

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably frizzy because it’s wavy or curly and she’s trying to treat it like straight hair. This is our crucible for non-straight haired people. OP have her look up Greta Wilson’s wavy hair technique on tiktok. Buy her those products and practice with her. She’s gotta work with her natural texture to reduce the frizz

I agree with this but OP says she has long hair and I bet she needs a haircut, so I think you’ll have more success with learning the styling if you kick off with a good curly cut.

It’s probably frizzy because it’s wavy or curly and she’s trying to treat it like straight hair. This is our crucible for non-straight haired people. OP have her look up Greta Wilson’s wavy hair technique on tiktok. Buy her those products and practice with her. She’s gotta work with her natural texture to reduce the frizz

Yeah I’m confused. Like PP I wonder does she have curly hair? Is it possibly an issue of learning to style curly hair?

One quick thing I’d recommend is upping your shampoo and conditioner game. Acura is some natural Whole Foods brand, no? Try a salon level product.

Does she have curls?

Take her for a haircut at Fiddleheads salon in DuPont circle. They’ll show her how to scrunch gel in it when it’s wet and how to dry it without frizzing the curls. And a good cut for her hair type will help.

Managing curly hair is a whole thing and there is an infinite supply of social media tutorials but the salon would be well worth the money and get her started.

Then you need to experiment a little with finding the right products and the right amounts of them.

Any gentle, non-drying shampoo. Then Redken frizz dismiss conditioner. Follow with Toni & Guy leave in conditioner. Towel dry hair, apply the leave in, squeeze hair into curls and don't brush it.

My tween DD has long hair that’s often frizzy and she has become very self-conscious about it—constantly applying water which of course doesn’t do much after a few minutes. She uses an Acure shampoo and conditioner. Does anyone have suggestions for a gentle, easy-to-use product that might alleviate the frizz?