Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 10:39     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:The child is loved and her parents are amazed by what she can do - all good things.

Emphasis on academics is not new - my parents did the same.

With my little kids I do not push reading or math at all because I don’t see the value in doing so before school. It’s not fun for me to be the teacher and I’d rather we all go outside and play.

But if the kid and her parents are connecting and having fun then good for them.


I think it's the sharing that is the problem. The mom wants others to be amazed by her kid. Not a good thing when she's not doing anything amazing.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 10:35     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
The child is loved and her parents are amazed by what she can do - all good things.

Emphasis on academics is not new - my parents did the same.

With my little kids I do not push reading or math at all because I don’t see the value in doing so before school. It’s not fun for me to be the teacher and I’d rather we all go outside and play.

But if the kid and her parents are connecting and having fun then good for them.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 10:21     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Doing all that at home is fine. Posting it daily to people who don't live in your home would be very, very irritating to me. Like, Cousin Larla I love your kid, she's very cute and seems bright, but it's just toooooo much.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 10:16     Subject: Re:Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:Your making too much out of this. Your cousin enjoys coming up with an activity for her 3.5 yo to do each day. She takes a photo because she enjoys sharing. It's a way to pass the time with a 3.5 yo that she enjoys. (And days with 3.5 yos can feel very very long.) It's a 2 min snapshot of the day. For all you know the kids spends the rest of the day plopped in front of the TV. Or alternatively playing outside in the mud in an outdoor playground. You have no idea.

Let your cousin enjoy her hobby. It's totally fine.

+1
My sister is like this. My SIL and I were way more relaxed. We do love seeing pictures of the kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 10:09     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
On a family sharing platform? There's nothing wrong with this. I'm sure some of your relatives are more than delighted to receive these updates.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 08:07     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Uh, these are not uncommon activities in daycares and preschools for that age group, especially the pre-literacy activities and counting.

If your cousin’s kid is doing it at home, that’s not really much different than doing it at preschool.

Whether it’s good or bad depends on your perspective on academics in early childhood education (I personally prefer a more play-based approach).

But OPs issues seems to be that it feels like her cousin is bragging about doing something super advanced with her kid, but again, lots of academically focused preschools do this stuff. So they aren’t doing something out of the ordinary— sounds like their kid just took to it and they are proud.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 08:05     Subject: Re:Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
If your cousin's kid goes on to cure cancer, sure it'll be impressive. But for now it's just a mom oversharing party tricks of her kid.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 08:00     Subject: Re:Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:Your making too much out of this. Your cousin enjoys coming up with an activity for her 3.5 yo to do each day. She takes a photo because she enjoys sharing. It's a way to pass the time with a 3.5 yo that she enjoys. (And days with 3.5 yos can feel very very long.) It's a 2 min snapshot of the day. For all you know the kids spends the rest of the day plopped in front of the TV. Or alternatively playing outside in the mud in an outdoor playground. You have no idea.

Let your cousin enjoy her hobby. It's totally fine.
Ack, *You're
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 08:00     Subject: Re:Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Your making too much out of this. Your cousin enjoys coming up with an activity for her 3.5 yo to do each day. She takes a photo because she enjoys sharing. It's a way to pass the time with a 3.5 yo that she enjoys. (And days with 3.5 yos can feel very very long.) It's a 2 min snapshot of the day. For all you know the kids spends the rest of the day plopped in front of the TV. Or alternatively playing outside in the mud in an outdoor playground. You have no idea.

Let your cousin enjoy her hobby. It's totally fine.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 07:35     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have little tolerance for all this sharing on social media. You know this kid has a meltdown at some point during the day, but somehow that drama is never posted. Fake news.


For all you know this family is sharing via group chat. OP never said anything about social media and sharing stuff about your child (these days often in the form of videos or pictures) with their relatives is pretty normal.

OP, to answer your actual question, I think some families do this and some families don’t. I personally do not and don’t think it’s helpful to the kids; I think they’re better served by running around and playing and learning practical skills like putting on shoes and how to navigate streets safely at this age. But I’m sure the parents who encourage early academics think it’s beneficial and neither of us have any scientific study to back us up and frankly might have different definitions of beneficial. It might also be that their child is fascinated by letters/reading so wants to learn — my 3.5yo is not at all; she wants to be read to and to learn how to climb to the highest part of the jungle gym at the playground so that’s what we do.


+1 definitely not going on in our family. But there are some families that do it. For me, academics are one piece of a much bigger pie that I'm focused on building my kids competence and confidence in, and from what I've read pushing early academics works with some kids, but with some kids leads to frustration and dislike of it all, or to just memorization which seems impressive at early ages but isn't necessarily the most important skill for deep inquiry/knowledge building. But see, I just said "deep inquiry/knowledge building" when talking about kids, so I have to laugh at myself as well. We're all on our high horse about something without meaning to! For me, its the importance of outdoor time, unstructured play, inquiry-based learning etc in these early years. Maybe I'm right for my kids and your cousin is right for hers!
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 07:31     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have little tolerance for all this sharing on social media. You know this kid has a meltdown at some point during the day, but somehow that drama is never posted. Fake news.


For all you know this family is sharing via group chat. OP never said anything about social media and sharing stuff about your child (these days often in the form of videos or pictures) with their relatives is pretty normal.

OP, to answer your actual question, I think some families do this and some families don’t. I personally do not and don’t think it’s helpful to the kids; I think they’re better served by running around and playing and learning practical skills like putting on shoes and how to navigate streets safely at this age. But I’m sure the parents who encourage early academics think it’s beneficial and neither of us have any scientific study to back us up and frankly might have different definitions of beneficial. It might also be that their child is fascinated by letters/reading so wants to learn — my 3.5yo is not at all; she wants to be read to and to learn how to climb to the highest part of the jungle gym at the playground so that’s what we do.


+1 My child would not do these things and that's fine. If their child is interested in this, I think it's good.to support those interests.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 06:51     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
Anonymous wrote:I have little tolerance for all this sharing on social media. You know this kid has a meltdown at some point during the day, but somehow that drama is never posted. Fake news.


For all you know this family is sharing via group chat. OP never said anything about social media and sharing stuff about your child (these days often in the form of videos or pictures) with their relatives is pretty normal.

OP, to answer your actual question, I think some families do this and some families don’t. I personally do not and don’t think it’s helpful to the kids; I think they’re better served by running around and playing and learning practical skills like putting on shoes and how to navigate streets safely at this age. But I’m sure the parents who encourage early academics think it’s beneficial and neither of us have any scientific study to back us up and frankly might have different definitions of beneficial. It might also be that their child is fascinated by letters/reading so wants to learn — my 3.5yo is not at all; she wants to be read to and to learn how to climb to the highest part of the jungle gym at the playground so that’s what we do.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 06:41     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
I have little tolerance for all this sharing on social media. You know this kid has a meltdown at some point during the day, but somehow that drama is never posted. Fake news.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 06:39     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
It’s excessive and means way too much attention and praise is being paid to the kid. Children like this grow up entitled and can’t handle life when they find out they aren’t as special as they were told every day for years. Better to raise kids who are resilient than this example.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2023 06:28     Subject: Is this excessive or just modern parenting?
My cousin posts daily photos & videos of her 3.5yo daughter’s intellectual accomplishments on our family’s sharing platform.

The latest was her daughter writing out words. Previously it was tracing letters, counting to 50, memorizing facts, and playing STEM related games.

We don’t do these scholarly activities at home, but I’m not here to contrast parenting styles. I’m glad their daughter is bright. Girl power! I’m here to ask is this what’s going on in other families as well? Will this really give kids a leg up in school or will they be bored in class when others are learning?