I know she doesn't want to be in NOVA theoretically, but I really think she should consider being far closer than an hour from at least one of you. NOVA is really her best option to be close to family and it would really help her to not have to do two moves. Eventually, when she needs more support it will be so helpful to have one family member who doesn't have to go an hour. At least worth looking at some places.

My grandparents moved here to be closer to family and have been really happy at Westminster at Lake Ridge which is in Woodbridge. They chose it because you are able to get a small cottage (vs an apartment in closer in communities). Their cottage has a little patio, backing onto trees. Woodbridge is certainly "NOVA" and will have some of the parts she doesn't like, but with everything there in the community that helps. My grandparents still live independently in one of those cottages and they are in their 90's now.

https://inglesideonline.org/westminster-lake-ridge/

My condolences to your family.

I think Woodbridge makes it challenging for the constraint of 1 hour or less away.
My mom moved to the Leesburg area as a window and has created a nice community. She was a recent widow and moved to VA to be closer to her kids.
There are some "active" adult communities out there that you might want to find out more about. Some that are all condos - but have elevators.

I also have a bunch of co-workers (federal pension) who retired to the Gettysburg area.

This is a big change for her - in my experience I needed to take things really slow as even through my mom made decisions - she was not able to act on them as fast as I expected.

Anonymous wrote:I recommend that she lives close to either you or her other child. If she starts to need more help, being 10 minutes away from one is better than an hour from both. Does she belong to a faith group or have and hobbies that help meet people? I just stated knitting and have found a great community in that.

What is her budget and where do you live?

Very good advice about living close to someone..preferrably someone who is able to assist her if needed (so not also 85 and not with 4 young kids, a dog and a full time job)

She should find a senior living facility for sure. Collington is in Maryland but I'm sure there are ones in Va too. The activities, nature trail, lake, trees, gardens, etc are great. My parents love it there.

Anonymous wrote:I recommend that she lives close to either you or her other child. If she starts to need more help, being 10 minutes away from one is better than an hour from both. Does she belong to a faith group or have and hobbies that help meet people? I just stated knitting and have found a great community in that.

What is her budget and where do you live?

Sorry, I missed the budget. I think that is a budget that should be good almost anywhere. When she moves and changes doctors, I also recommend plugging into one of the local networks like INOVA or John’s Hopkins so that she can get doctors who are connected to each other.

I recommend that she lives close to either you or her other child. If she starts to need more help, being 10 minutes away from one is better than an hour from both. Does she belong to a faith group or have and hobbies that help meet people? I just stated knitting and have found a great community in that.

What is her budget and where do you live?

Maybe start looking in neighborhoods near around gardens and state/national parks? leesburg is near Woodbridge. I have seen so many happy retirees working or volunteering at state and national parks and gardens.

My mother in law lives in western PA and sadly with lost my stepfather in law to pancreatic cancer a few months ago. She has said she doesn’t want to stay where she is and wants to come closer to family. We’re in DC, my brother in law is in Woodbridge, VA and she wants to be an hour or less away from each of us.

Some of her husbands family that she is close to is near Philly and New Jersey, so maybe a 1-2 hour drive to them.

So overall, seems like some parts of VA, West VA or maybe even another part of PA could work.

She doesn’t like MD because of the taxes, though. If there’s an amazing place that checks the rest of the boxes below, maybe she can be convinced.

Her priorities:
- easy access to medical care
-close to nature, good scenery and not too busy (she lived the NOVA life during her career and doesn’t want to go back)
- single level independent home
- doesn’t have to be in a 55+ community but I think she might enjoy it? If not, if there are any other informal neighborhoods that have a lot of retirees and specifically any neighborhoods with widows for companionship. I hope she can make some new friends
-600-700k budget

Appreciate any ideas!!