Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:44     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Being a gracious host means you just suck it up to a large extent. You don’t have to invite them back again.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:44     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We tell the parents to handle it. "Dave, please keep Roger from jumping on the couch. That's not allowed in this house." "Dorinda, Roger purposely poured his juice all over the floor - the paper towels are over there and the mop is in the closet where the laundry is."

And then we hustle them out ASAP. "It seems like Roger is really not enjoying himself here, and it's straining the visit. Maybe you guys would be more comfortable in a hotel."


NP - love all this.


No way. That is all insanely rude. If you can't deal with differences in people, then do not have houseguests. Like seriously, chill out about all your rules for a few days.


The poster doesn’t actually do that. She may wish she could/did, and may fantasize about it, but no - she’s full of shit. So many big talkers on DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:42     Subject: Re:Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe all these replies. Presumably you allowed them to visit and stay with you? They didn't just shop up? Seriously, just nicely ask the kid to change the behavior if it's really bad. Tell him the rules and ask him to comply. Do it nicely and get over it. It's a few days and these people are obviously part of your life. Just be courteous and patient for a few days. I would never ever behave the way some posters are suggesting. If you do or say those things to those parents, particularly suggesting they leave because of their kid's behavior, that relationship will be over forever. I would guess the guests are your really your spouse's and you're looking to judge, though, too, right?


You do realize that...OP has already tried this approach, yes? And it hasn't work.

So now it's time to try another tactic, right? That's what we are suggesting.

And no, it's actually not being courteous to teach this kid and his parents that they can roll up and act like this in someone's home, to the point of being destructive and disruptive. You're the type who confuses "being courteous" with "being a doormat." Those are two different things.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:41     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:4 can be a difficult age for kids who will later be diagnosed with hyperactive ADHD. A couple of my son's friends were little hellions at 4-5-6.

I parent my young guests like I parent my own kids. I don't engage with the parent, I just tell the kids what to do like they were my own, and sometimes, I am rather curt. If the parents don't like it, they intervene.


But poor OP is busy and doesn’t have time to constantly parent an extra unruly kid while hosting guests and taking care of her own kid.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:41     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We tell the parents to handle it. "Dave, please keep Roger from jumping on the couch. That's not allowed in this house." "Dorinda, Roger purposely poured his juice all over the floor - the paper towels are over there and the mop is in the closet where the laundry is."

And then we hustle them out ASAP. "It seems like Roger is really not enjoying himself here, and it's straining the visit. Maybe you guys would be more comfortable in a hotel."


NP - love all this.


No way. That is all insanely rude. If you can't deal with differences in people, then do not have houseguests. Like seriously, chill out about all your rules for a few days.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:40     Subject: Re:Poorly behaved houseguests
I cannot believe all these replies. Presumably you allowed them to visit and stay with you? They didn't just shop up? Seriously, just nicely ask the kid to change the behavior if it's really bad. Tell him the rules and ask him to comply. Do it nicely and get over it. It's a few days and these people are obviously part of your life. Just be courteous and patient for a few days. I would never ever behave the way some posters are suggesting. If you do or say those things to those parents, particularly suggesting they leave because of their kid's behavior, that relationship will be over forever. I would guess the guests are your really your spouse's and you're looking to judge, though, too, right?
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:39     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:We tell the parents to handle it. "Dave, please keep Roger from jumping on the couch. That's not allowed in this house." "Dorinda, Roger purposely poured his juice all over the floor - the paper towels are over there and the mop is in the closet where the laundry is."

And then we hustle them out ASAP. "It seems like Roger is really not enjoying himself here, and it's straining the visit. Maybe you guys would be more comfortable in a hotel."


NP - love all this.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:36     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
4 can be a difficult age for kids who will later be diagnosed with hyperactive ADHD. A couple of my son's friends were little hellions at 4-5-6.

I parent my young guests like I parent my own kids. I don't engage with the parent, I just tell the kids what to do like they were my own, and sometimes, I am rather curt. If the parents don't like it, they intervene.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:33     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The kid is 4. He'll grow up. You may want a relationship with him at some point.

In the meantime, just sleep easy knowing you're the better parent.


This isn’t about someone being the better parent. This is about someone turning OP’s house into an unpleasant environment while the parents sit back and relax. OP probably can’t sleep easy because they’re busy cleaning up after an uncontrolled hurricane.


Plus inadvertently causing the 2 yr old to follow the 4 yr old into inappropriate shenanigans.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:32     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
Anonymous wrote:The kid is 4. He'll grow up. You may want a relationship with him at some point.

In the meantime, just sleep easy knowing you're the better parent.


This isn’t about someone being the better parent. This is about someone turning OP’s house into an unpleasant environment while the parents sit back and relax. OP probably can’t sleep easy because they’re busy cleaning up after an uncontrolled hurricane.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:25     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
You know how you're instructed to point to and say the name of a specific person when asking them to call 911, instead of just saying "Someone call 911"? That's the approach here.

"David, would you please ensure that Timmy doesn't jump on our furniture?"

"Jessica, would you please make sure Timmy eats at the table, and doesn't bring food into the living room?"

Stop addressing the kid's behavior, and start addressing the parents' behavior--bring it up again and again and maybe they'll either take more initiative, or will get sick of not being able to kick back and will leave blessedly sooner.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:25     Subject: Re:Poorly behaved houseguests
How long have they been there? If they traveled far, I’d extend a 36 hour courtesy time for them to recover. After that, I would address the issue directly, “You need to stop Joey from hitting people, etc.”

I’m busy parenting my own kids, people under my roof can do me the courtesy of parenting theirs.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:24     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
We tell the parents to handle it. "Dave, please keep Roger from jumping on the couch. That's not allowed in this house." "Dorinda, Roger purposely poured his juice all over the floor - the paper towels are over there and the mop is in the closet where the laundry is."

And then we hustle them out ASAP. "It seems like Roger is really not enjoying himself here, and it's straining the visit. Maybe you guys would be more comfortable in a hotel."
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:23     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
The kid is 4. He'll grow up. You may want a relationship with him at some point.

In the meantime, just sleep easy knowing you're the better parent.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2023 12:20     Subject: Poorly behaved houseguests
We've had family staying with us and their 4yo is terribly behaved. And the parents don't do anything about it, barely pay him any attention at all. I've been having to constantly tell their kid to stop kicking this or hitting that or jumping off this. Watching their child, on top of my 2yo, has also mostly fallen on me while they kick back and relax. It's exhausting. They will not be welcome to stay again in the future, but how do you deal with this sort of thing in the meantime? I'm shocked they just let him go wild like this in other peoples' houses.