I don’t think it needs to be a big deal. Your DD can simply say she doesn’t plan to use a headboard. But if the girls want to coordinate similar colors, that’s pretty common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

You sound like a real peach.

If it isn’t your daughter’s thing (it wouldn’t be mine), she can just have call where they talk about the basics. And she can just say what she plans to do with her bedding. Your daughter can be friendly without feeling compelled to get into dorm decorations just cause “that’s what everyone does now.”

Pretty common for girls and honestly... how much could this cost? Cheap headboard, some posters, some knick knacks from target...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

Not PP but trying to make a kid you never met decorate their first away-from-home living space in the way you want is pretty controlling. They should each just choose what works for them and f-ing adapt.

Anonymous wrote:Is the roommate from the south? I am, and judging from my Facebook feed, some southern moms and their daughters get very into having a coordinated room decor. It’s seems over the top to me personally but to each her own.

Has your daughter already shopped for her things?

It’s fine not to get a headboard. I would be pleasant and coordinate a but by let roommate know you are only planning on bringing x, y, and a. Maybe let the roommate take the lead on deciding colors if your daughter doesn’t care and doesn’t have her stuff yet.

Ps, the reason I know this is the moms post photos of the daughters dorm rooms on Facebook….

Is the roommate from the south? I am, and judging from my Facebook feed, some southern moms and their daughters get very into having a coordinated room decor. It’s seems over the top to me personally but to each her own.

Has your daughter already shopped for her things?

It’s fine not to get a headboard. I would be pleasant and coordinate a but by let roommate know you are only planning on bringing x, y, and a. Maybe let the roommate take the lead on deciding colors if your daughter doesn’t care and doesn’t have her stuff yet.

It's been a thing for many, many years. Just googled dorm decorating and you'll see features.

There's a whole website for it called Dormify.

https://www.dormify.com/

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

This is not control freak vibes. Super common with girls. You’re reading too much into it and just looking for problems.

I wouldn’t assume she’s well off. Coordinating just means they don’t need two big room fans, fridge if not provided, etc. I agree the headboards are overkill but your dd doesn’t have to buy one. My kids just used those large arm pillows.
I would encourage your dd to respond and get off on the right foot. What do you mean she can’t because she’s working out of state?

Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

Just tell your DD to tell the girl "I'm going to use pillows like a headboard. Let's coordinate colors so we don't clash."

She should also tell the roommate what store(s) she plans to shop from - that will clue the girl in that her new roommate shops at WalMart because she's poor and won't be able to afford a $75 shower caddy from PB Teen.

It's not a totally weird question. I wouldn't assume the other girl is super well off: you can get a twin headboard for $70 (Target, Amazon).

Budget is a good place to start. Is your DD comfortable sharing hers? When I went I was pink and my roommate was leopard. That's about all we shared, and it was a fun room.

More importantly, is your daughter interest?

Could they share a Google slide doc or Pinterest board?

A lot of girls like to decorate and coordinate with their roommates. It’s pretty common nowadays.
Just have your DD be honest and say what she can and can’t do.

Whoosh. My DD roommate has contacted her. Seems nice enough, but I gather she is fairly well off and wants to 'decorate' and 'coordinate' the dorm room.

The most recent question was "what type of headboard should we get for the bed?" Huh? I sent my daughter some samples of pillows she could put on the bed, but said a "headboard" seemed a little too much.

Is this a thing now? I hardly had anything when I went. Couldn't afford such things. It's a state school, so there will surely be kids who don't have funds to do this.

I just don't want my DD to start off on the wrong foot with this young lady. I am not a decorator type nor do I particularly enjoy it. Will just be getting comfortable bedding - sheets and some posters. Also not interested in buying a bunch of junk that will wind up in a land-fill. Trying to think of a nice way for DD to tell the other gal that she has to stay in budget, etc etc etc.

DD is working for the summer out of state and not really able to address these "decorating" questions too.

Crazy